Thursday, November 09, 2006

Crazy like a fiend

"Pro Bowl linebacker Joey Porter was fined $15,000 by the league after he threatened an official following the Steelers' 20-13 loss to the Raiders last Sunday. Porter, angered for an unknown reason, was flagged 15 yards after telling an official that he would come after him."

Joey Porter? Angered for an unknown reason? Isn't that Joey Porter's reason for existing? To be angry? Especially given that the week before they lost to the Raiders, I'm guessing he had reasons for being angry this time.

Reason 1: He's crazy
Reason 2: He's Joey Porter
Reason 3: Joey Porter is crazy

Which official did he threaten? He should be glad that Ed Hochuli (he of the HUGE guns) wasn't calling the game. I have a feeling that Ed would have went Kung-Fu-Tastic on Porter if he were threatened. But, since Ed wasn't there, and because no other referees are Jean Claude Van Damne or Chuck Norris, he probably felt safe picking on the 65 year old lawyer.

I wonder what the threat was. Was it something like "Hey, old man! I'm going to come over to your house and stare menacingly at you while you eat dinner!" or was it more like "Hey! I'll gut you like a fish and wear your skin to media day next week!" One of those is more of a threat than the other.

I'm surprised at the $15,000 fine. If David Stern were running the NFL then Porter would have been fined $1,000,000 and made to run around in short shorts with no wrist bands while dribbling a basketball that sticks to his hands.