Indiana University basketball is off a roaring start under Kelvin Sampson, AKA Coach Sanctions. The Hoosiers lost last night to Butler and, nothing against Butler, but isn't this just delicious?Seeing Coach Sanctions go down in his home state (granted, it was Butler's home city, but still) in just the second game of the year is wonderful.
As the game ended, Sampson walked off the court quickly, presumably to make a phone call to a still-in-high-school potential recruit.
Coach Sanctions: "Hey, champ, how's it going?"
Recruit: "Ummm, well, okay. I just watched you guys lose to Butter."
Coach Sanctions: "That's Butler, son."
Recruit: "Whatever."
Coach Sanctions: "So aren't you looking forward to playing for us and helping us out in a couple years?"
Recruit: "I don't know, maybe. Are you gaining weight? You look really puffy. You're not going to explode, are you?"
Coach Sanctions: "Not cool, man."
Recruit: "Also, coach, can you stop leaving those messages about how 'long' I am on my myspace page? The guys think I'm kind of swishy."
Coach Sanctions: "But I'm in love with your size, kid."
Recruit: "Coach! Come on, man."
Coach Sanctions: "Come on yourself... are you going to commit to IU or what? I can make sure you get free tickets to the football games in the fall, too...if you're into that sort of thing."
Recruit: "I don't know, coach. I don't think those circus pants you guys wear during warmups are very cool. Why don't you modernize the uniform?"
Coach Sanctions: "That's not how we do things here at Indiana. We're traditional."
Recruit: "But you call me all the time and you're not supposed to... is that a tradition, too?"
Coach Sanctions: "Hmm?"
Recruit: "And stop texting me about how great Bloomington is. I know it's you from the area code."
Coach Sanctions (muttering): "Dammit."
Recruit: "Listen, I gotta go. Coach Donovan is on the other line."
6 comments:
This is true. IU pales in comparison with all those Purdue titles.
Purdue Final Four: A drought well into its third decade.
I didn't mention a championship drought because technically it isn't a drought since you've never won one.
Good luck with that
Yeah, those titles of yesteryear mean people shouldn't make fun of IU.... or something.
I don't make fun of the Purdue people who work where I do. Then again, the janitors don't arrive until after I leave for the night.
tough not to notice the Red Raiders playing well... seems that Knight guy can still form and coach a team despite what Keith Olberman, DJ Gallo and friemds might think they think...
Hey Laettner; Purdue went to the Final Four in 1980. My math tells me that isn't three decades...surely not well into three decades.
Nice attempt at humor though, champ.
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