Joe and Willie - A Short Play

SETTING: A Subway sandwich shop.


Hey, Joe.





Hey, Willie. Why the long face?






Don't be a jerk, Joe. You know what's going on.




What do you mean? No, really.. what's up? I've just been here enjoying my sandwich all weekend. I let Jorge manage. I like to do that when we've got the playoffs wrapped up.




*Eyes Joe suspiciously*





*innocently chews sandwich, wipes dressing from face*





*glances at menu*





So what did you do when you had things wrapped up?




I knew it! I knew you couldn't resist!





Sorry, Willie, but come on... the Phillies? Have you heard Charlie Manuel talk? He's borderline retarded.




Look, Joe, I've had a rough weekend, okay?




Okay, okay. *pause*

So who are you starting in Game 1?




Dammit, Joe!





Sorry! I just can't resist! The Phillies? Weren't you guys in first all season? Weren't we in last in like May? I can't remember because I really don't care. I'm just collecting a paycheck.



Whatever, Joe.





You should really order the mesquite chicken and bacon sandwich.





Really? Is it good?





Pretty good. I enjoyed it all summer long.





Oh, that's cool.




*stifling giggles*
Yeah, then in September I had a Philly Cheese Steak and it was so good, I relegated the mesquite chicken and bacon sandwich to second place.




You're such a jerk, Joe.





I have an idea, Willie, this will make you feel like a winner all over again.





Joe, get away from me. Wha-- what are you trying to put on my head? Come on, Joe...





Just hold still... there we go. How's that?







Gosh, you know, I actually do feel like a winner in this.