Boilerdowd and I were discussing sports that are unwatchable and, naturally, the subject of the WNBA came up. There's probably not a bigger drain of money or a bigger producer of lackluster, un-entertaining "athletics" than women's basketball. Especially when it's purported to be "professional." Instead of going on about why it sucks (two-handed push shots, slow play, the fact that it looks like basketball under water), we've decided to ask a different question: What would make you watch it?Well, I have an answer. And I think you'll agree and admit that you would watch something like this.
Andrew Bynum was hurt earlier this year for the Lakers, and I remember one week listening to talk radio, someone said he'd be ready to come back in about two weeks but had to get back into game shape. But how do you do that in a league that really has no minor leagues? If Derek Jeter needs to get back into game shape after an injury, he goes and plays for the Double-A Trenton Thunder (and bangs a groupie or two). But what would poor Andrew Bynum to?
What if his rehab included five games in the WNBA? Sure, sure, I know... the leagues run at different times (okay, maybe you didn't know that because you don't care about the WNBA, but their season is in the summertime). But for purposes of this argument, let's say they didn't.
What if when Stephon Marbury got picked up by the Celtics, they decided he needed some conditioning after not playing all season for the Knicks, and decided he should play ten games for a team in the WNBA?
How many points could Starbury score in a WNBA game? 70? Tell me you wouldn't honestly be curious.
And how many would a big man score? Imagine if Kevin Garnett needs to rehab this summer on his bum knee and is assigned to play 15 games for the Los Angeles Sparks. How many points could Kevin Garnett score against women? 80? Is there a limit? Wouldn't it be fun to see him thrown down on the girls as they scurry out of the way?
The best part about this is the feminists who accuse me (and those like me) of being sexist when we claim to not enjoy women's sports (when we actually dislike them because they're boring and not because they're played by women -- hey, I don't go watch 8th grade boys basketball, either) can't say anything. They think women are equal and deserve the same rights? Okay, well, then here you go -- here's the right go get posterized by Dwight Howard as he recoups from a hamstring strain. Have a ball with that.
Hey, WNBA, if you ever want to sell out a game and have people actually turn on the TV to watch, this is about your only option.
17 comments:
Okay, don't make me restrict the commenting privileges, kids. We like leaving it open-ended (the way Mark H likes it -- hey-yo!!) but let's not post porn sites and let's not use real names.
At least not excessively.
Seems like your suggestions MIGHT make the NBA (yawn!) watchable -- but I doubt it. Gads! What a snooze fest that mess is.
I'm glad you don't care about the W or women's college basketball. I don't think you're a sexist pig, I just think you don't appreciate athleticism, team ball, defense, etc. etc.
I know you're a dweeb, but where did you get the idea that a WNBA player could match-up with a NBA player? Do you understand the concept of height and weight difference?
Honey lamb, YOU'D get posterized by Dwight "how much can I whine because they didn't get me the damn ball" Howard.
You'd probably also get posterized by most W players of your height and weight.
So what.
You believe the women's game is unwatchable, but it gets to you somehow -- you feel the need to diss it.
What does that say about you, little one?
The sad truth is that guys off the street who haven't played college basketball could dominate the WNBA.
But to answer your question, yes I would tune in to watch Starbury score at will.
Helen is upset.
"I just think you don't appreciate athleticism..."
?!?!?!?!?!?!
This is GENIUS - and I thought there wasn't anything good to talk about between the Final Four and College Football Kickoff....
WNBA - PLEASE consider this. I would watch.
Candace Parker has some athleticism.
But then she went and got pregnant.
Game over.
Helen, I swung by your blog on ladies basketball... but fell asleep. Sorry.
Of course I appreciate athleticism and sports at the highest level. That's why I enjoy the men's game.
I went to a rec league hockey game last night that three of my buddies play in. It's all guys ranging in age from 20-40+ playing hockey. I enjoyed myself because I know the guys and we go to Hooters afterwards. But is this like watching the NHL? Of course not. And it's got nothing to do with gender. It's got to do with them being of lesser ability.
Just like women's hoopsters. And, as I tried to point out, I don't want to watch high school men's basketball -- or 8th grade men's basketball -- any more than I want to watch women's college or "pro" ball. Why? Because it's boring and there are higher levels to watch that are more entertaining.
I also love the argument women such as yourself always make -- "Dwight Howard would posterize you, too!" Or the implication that the WNBA women would rock me, too. Where in my post did I suggest I was better than Dwight Howard? Or any of the lovely ladies of the WNBA? Do you have to be better than them to criticize them? If so, why isn't Michael Jordan the only NBA analyst out there?
Also, I know you think you're being cute or clever or funny, but name calling is about the absolute lowest level of childish behavior and even if you had any salient points, the name-calling sort of de-values them.
Good day. Stop by any time.
My experience has been that the bigger the "sports fan" the smaller the amount of athleticism. I think it would be interesting to get some teams of bloggers and "die-hards" and media big-mouths to take on the WNBA teams. I have nowhere near the size or atheticism of a girl in the WNBA, yet I have only lost to 2 of my previous boyfriends in a game of 1-on-1. And yes, I am a whopping 5'2". All of those I beat were "really into sports". I know the WNBA girls would kick their a$$e$, as I assume they would kick 99% of those a$$e$ that respond as if these girls have no talent.
That being said, I don't watch that league, the NBA, the MLB, NASCAR, IndyCar, hockey, or any of the other snooze events they call sports. That doesn't mean that I can't appreciate what a race car driver physically is going through during a 500-mile race, even if he looks as "athletic" as Tony Stewart.
Sorry, meant to say they would kick my a$$...
Oh and hey, here's another point.... the WNBA is a financial sinkhole. The NBA owners are inexplicably forced to subsidize the women's team that resides in their city. And at every major university, the men's games subsidize the women's sports -- that nobody goes to or is interested in.
I'm all for women having the rights to play sports -- please understand that. And if I wind up with a daughter, I hope she has every opportunity. My point is simply that we should not pretend that the women's game is interesting or good... and when they're money-losers, well, keeping them around because we're afraid we'll look sexist is just stupid.
BGal -- First off, any dude who let you get away is a fool, plain and simple.
But.... you're kind of straying from my point. Or maybe you're not here to argue it at all. If you were, I don't see how playing against WNBA women would validate or invalidate my point(s). I should HOPE they could beat an out of shape 30-something like me at the sport they're professionals at!
Do I need to beat them in order to find their game boring, uninteresting and played at a painful pace?
I don't like F1 racing, but I'm sure any of those drivers could beat me in a race... does that mean I'm not entitled to dislike it? I never understand this argument.
J (boilergal), your boyfriends weren't concentrating on playing, they were just looking for an excuse to get handsy.
I don't know if I'd say the BS staff is completely unathletic. Granted, I can't shoot, but I ran an 11-second 100 back when I ran; that's not too slow...and I could touch the rim, in the 90s(and you know how tall I am). It's a different story now...no doubt about that.
Every time I played versus women in college, I wasn't amazed by their athleticism, but was amazed by the amount of grabbing and holding they seemed to do. I, nor anybody I played with, would call the foul; we were kind of in a lose-lose situation...but the girls could shoot and dribble. Problem was, the release point of their shot was low- a good shooter who can't because they'll get blocked isn't the best asset to a team.
I remember reading about how the Purdue women's team would practice against a group of men that played in high school........and the ladies would get dominated. So much so that Coach Curry would have to ask the guys not to block any shots.
Me, dowd, Tim and others played at the co-rec with one or two of the girls from the team at that time.... they could run with us fat dudes who hadn't even been good enough to play in high school, but they didn't dominate in any way.
We all found that very telling.
I don't think anything will make the WNBA more watchable. These are difficult times for any sport to increase its ratings - too many alternatives, both sports and non-sports, not to mention all the non-TV options - and there are sports with a larger fan base that don't draw much on TV.
Now, if they want to make professional women's basketball more popular, instead of trying to make it a clone of the NBA, they should go back to the way the ABL did it: put teams in cities that want them and let the league grow naturally, if it all.
There just aren't that many people willing to pay to watch good women's basketball. None of the top 20 women's teams (by attendance) outdrew the men this year ... I'd guess it only happens in specific places, like when Tennessee or UConn is having a really good season and the men are struggling badly, and that's even considering that women's tickets are probably considerably cheaper than men's tickets.
I doubt any of the women care if you find it entertaining or not. If you don't like it, don't watch it. There's no need to complain. At least these women are getting a right to do just what men do. It's true men are much more athletic and physically stronger, but women who are good at basketball deserve their chance to make money doing what they love.
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