"Matt?! Matt Painter?!? Matt Painter! I thought that was you!"
"How you doing, thanks for watching."
"Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you."
"Not a chance"
"Ned... Ryerson. Needlenose Ned? Ned the Head? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High.I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well? "
Photo A: MP: "no offense tommy, but you have a huge f'in forehead."
TC: "oh, i know we have no offense--we can't score!...oh wait, i see what you mean, matt. no problem mate, i know it's big. it's actually a fivehead."
Photo B: MW: "What we have here is a failure to communicate. Espn, fox sports, sports illustrated, and every other sports media blowhard...suck it. Now get out of my face"
A: "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son, and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadaro. She's been waiting for me all these years, she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."
Photo A
Photo B
24 comments:
Photo A :
TC - 'Psst, Matt, got any openings on your staff? I'll buy the coffee for all the meetings. I get a bulk rate. "
A: We're falling and we can't get up.
B: One-two-three-four. First Down!
Photo A:
"Matt?! Matt Painter?!? Matt Painter! I thought that was you!"
"How you doing, thanks for watching."
"Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you."
"Not a chance"
"Ned... Ryerson. Needlenose Ned? Ned the Head? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High.I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well? "
"Ned...Ryerson?"
"Bing!"
"Bing!"
A - Crean: "Seriously? Your actually coaching? Not fair."
B - Mark: "First down!"
Photo A:
"Uh, Matt? C'mon, can't you let us have one? Just one win? Pleeeease???
Photo A:
TC: "Matt, have you seen my team? They didn't show up!"
Photo A:
TC: "Did I hear someone say something about my forehead? I was born this way. I can't help it! I have a very high hair line."
Photo A:
MP: "no offense tommy, but you have a huge f'in forehead."
TC: "oh, i know we have no offense--we can't score!...oh wait, i see what you mean, matt. no problem mate, i know it's big. it's actually a fivehead."
Photo B:
MW: "What we have here is a failure to communicate. Espn, fox sports, sports illustrated, and every other sports media blowhard...suck it. Now get out of my face"
CK: "man, he's gonna be a great lawyer"
KG: "this man is very articulate."
Photo A:
MP: Dude, you gotta quit bringing your intracampus team.
TC: Huh?
Photo B:
MW: I sit there at the end of the bench. Yes, the very end. I'm even in the program. Last page, next to the ad for Brunos.
Photo A: Crean: "Hey, got any gum?"
Photo B: "Score-board, score-board..."
I have no captions to add... just my opinion on who's winning this contest.
I like John's the best... hands down
Tom Crean: Smooth Criminal
A: "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son, and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadaro. She's been waiting for me all these years, she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."
This is a combo.
A: One! Two! Three! Forehead!...
B:...First Down!
A: If I stare deep into your soul, maybe I too can learn to coach....
B: CK: Is he really about to sing? No wonder this kid doesn't play much...
A.
MP: So they just spray it on...
TC: Yeah and it doesn't even take that long. I was just down at Levee Laundry & Tan Connection before the game.
Chris wins. Hahahahha.
A: "Seriously. I can lean at a 60 degree angle and not fall over. Check it out."
B: "So, the art of putting your hand out for a high five when a guy comes off the floor is one I've perfected..."
A: TC: "So you just comb it back? And your forehead doesn't get in the way?"
B: (sings to IU bench) "Pants like a clown! Pants like a clown! Lookin' like a FOOL witcher pants like a clown!"
Photo B:
"Hey Kramer, put your right hand up and we can do the five dollar footlong thing."
Photo A: "Dude...I just sharted."
I would like to amend my prior post with less brevity:
Photo A:
Tom Crean shows off his "Smooth Criminal" while his team does "Bad"
Mike is right. Crean totally sharted his pants. Look at the lean- trying desperately to come closer without unclenching his butt cheeks.
Either that or "It just rolled down my sock."
As for B, MW: "CK's manhood is this big."
CK: "Around."
Photo A: From this angle, we're actually winning: infinity to line over squiggle.
Photo B: So I says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em."
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