Monday, August 23, 2010

A Reminder of Why Notre Dame Fans Suck

If you listened to last week’s sneak preview for Season Three of the Handsome Hour Boiled Sports Podcast, you might have heard my colleague boilerdowd comment on how – at the moment – he wasn’t feeling the usual amount of dislike for Notre Dame. He’d been watching some of their practices and had honestly felt it looked “fun.” Couple that with new coach Brian Kelly who, unlike Charlie Weis, is not as easily detestable (not yet, anyway). Weis embodied typical golden domers – irrationally and unjustifiably arrogant and simultaneously ignorant regarding how far off the map of relevance their program has fallen.

Well, if you felt as dowdy did and you were having any trouble ramping up your level of hate for ND, let me regale you with a little story.

We got an email over the weekend to the Boiled Sports mailbox from a proprietor of a new Notre Dame themed site who “would love if [we] would direct [our] readers” to them. Yes, I’m sure you would love free traffic.

He then went on to say that their site was for ND lovers AND haters and that their first post was up and it was why don’t Notre Dame fans care about Purdue. He provided no link.

I replied and said that with no link it was hard to read the story and, secondly, that Domers spend a lot of time explaining why they don’t care about Purdue.

He snottily replied that if I READ the article, I’d see that he explained that they actually should. And he provided the link.

I read the drivel against my better judgment (seriously, why should I give any attention to a one-post blog?) and noted that just seven sentences in to their blog’s existence, they took a shot at Hammer & Rails, suggesting that no Domer would ever comment on a Purdue site and that to think so would be “flattering” oneself. His two commenters were the typical douches we’ve come to expect of ND fans, making the tired old “It’s just Purdue” argument.

I replied and said the following:

Did you seriously take a shot at Hammer & Rails in your inaugural post? You doubt a single ND fan has ever commented on their site, eh? Done a lot of research to back that up, have you?

Ah, I forgot. Domers never let the facts get in the way. Pesky facts!

That sort of arrogance (and that of every other UND "fan," such as your two commenters) is precisely why we hate Notre Dame. Misplaced, ignorant, unjustified arrogance.

He didn’t like that and suggested I’d been “unnerved.” I pointed out that he wanted haters and we, in no uncertain terms, hate Notre Dame. He immediately backpedaled that his barb at H&R was “sarcastic” and I was dumb to not understand that. He also offered his “thesis,” which I’m sure you’ll agree, is SO FRICKING ORIGINAL I AM BLOWN AWAY:

And my true thesis why many Purdue fans hate ND is because ND fans overall just don't care about Purdue, despite the many good reasons to do so as I posted in my post.  It's just a "meh" game for many of us.  Hard to get excited about.

Now THAT, my friends, is a quality “thesis.” In fact, that would probably be a good thesis for a PhD at Notre Dame. Why? Because it’s BRILLIANT!  And nobody has ever made that stupid, tired, nonsensical, egocentric suggestion before. Yes, sir, we dislike Notre Dame because THEY don’t care enough about us. CARE ABOUT US, DAMMIT! We demand to be CARED ABOUT! Take us seriously! We demand validation from a program that hasn’t had an over .500 season in three years! A program that….USED to be really good! Like, 40 years ago! Dammit, VINDICATE US FROM THIS CESSPOOL OF UNCARINGNESS!! PLEASE!

Sorry, I blacked out for a minute there...

Okay, what I actually did was point out that he just encapsulated what we hate about ND. That they’re so blinded by their world-revolves-around-an-irrelevant-program thinking that the only logical reason we might dislike them is because they don’t pay enough attention to us. I told him he’s just like every other ND fan and that it’s not surprising at all.

I also pointed out that he contacted US hoping for free site traffic and in his inaugural post bashes a Purdue site that is well-written, well-researched and beyond handsome. And a level of dedication and hard work he has no concept of yet. His site will – guaranteed – be abandoned shortly. I’m betting less than halfway through this season. And yet this arrogant douchewad CONTINUED to be pissy with me – because writing ONE post as a Domer qualifies you to lecture guys who’ve been doing this for years and have written, literally, THOUSANDS of posts.

I told him he oughta toughen up if he’s going to write a blog. I also told him to shoo.

As you’ve likely gathered by now, I’m not linking to this Notre Dame sycophant who claims to want ND haters as well. I do like his business model, though. On his site he has this:

In addition to your comments on our posts, we want to hear your stories and see your pictures!  Maybe you’re a fan living in enemy territory or maybe you hated Notre Dame growing up.  Or perhaps you had a great gameday experience or maybe you have a room at your home dedicated to Notre Dame. 

Here's how I believe the conversation went...

ND ignoramus #1: “I have a brilliant idea! Let’s start a ND website! We’ll pretend we want people who like ND as well as hate ND!

ND ignoramus #2: “But don’t haters already go to sites of teams they hate?

ND ignoramus #1: “You don’t get it! We’ll welcome them! And we’ll ask other sites to send their traffic to us. Then we’ll take that traffic and tell them to send us pictures, stories, etc. They’ll be writing the site for us! It’s brilliant!

ND ignoramus #2: *Shrugs, hangs up IU basketball jacket and puts on ND football jacket* “Sounds good to me, boss.”

I hate these people. I really do. Bring on the season.


Plang said...

Thank you. The vitriol is flowing now.

Mr. (not) the Jet Set said...

You had me at "hangs up IU basketball jacket and puts on ND football jacket"..... [sniff].... you had me at "hangs up IU basketball jacket and puts on ND football jacket"

T-Mill said...

I just want to know why these fools think they can win 10 games and have a weak schedule? BC, Pittsburgh, MSU, Navy, Stanford? Wouldn't the ultimate irony be that they beat USC, but still don't even qualify for a bowl. It will be rough with Jimmy Powlus gone.

Purdue Matt said...

I am willing to bet they didn't go to ND.

Anonymous said...

I am an alumn of IU and have forever followed IU basketball and believe it or not football (no matter how disheartening it is).. As much as you guys dislike me, I still want to say I did not appreciate how you ended the post. I hate Notre Dame just as much as you.

boilerdowd said...

Ron, you're in the minority.

If you don't believe, ask around.

J Money said...

Ron -- we don't dislike you. You haven't been a jerk to us. If you're an ALUM and you're loyal to IU hoops and football, how could we possibly judge? You shouldn't be offended by how we ended the post since that's not referring to you. It's referring to those "types."

Jeffobocko said...

You guys are like Travis's big brothers. You're always stick up for him when other fans pick on him. I respect the solidarity.

J Money said...

Jeff -- And then we beat him up when we're bored and no one is looking.

Exactly like big brothers.

jfiandt said...

The loud majority of Domers simply cannot look past the fact that they may have recruited well, paid well for several former coaches, and have a movie out there about a walk-on the size of a Hobbit getting some PT, but 10 wins is tough with their schedule.

Stanford will be a sleeper in the Pac-10, Navy's difficult to defend against, who knows what to expect from us Boilers, Pitt ALWAYS runs the ball well and has a serviceable defense, and MSU is going to be MUCH tougher than folks realize both on O and D. Simply painting their schedule with the "It's just Purdue" or "The 'Stache at Pitt chokes" will not win them games. 6 or 7 wins would be solid with that schedule. Breaking in a new staff, and having players adjust to new schemes is not an easy to-do list. That takes time regardless of talent level. Doing what Tiller did and win 9 games in his first year is the exception rather than the norm.

I don't mind level, intelligent analysis good or bad, but ra-ra drivel like most ND fans seem to espouse does nothing but further emphasize my loathing of them. Each fanbase has those amongst their followers, but ND seems to be amongst the worst offenders. OSU and IU fans come in close behind.

T-Mill said...

I ripped apart their "easy" schedule at my site yesterday.

Todd said...

If ND is so irrelevant then why do you still write about them and read there blogs and watch there practices. I've got news for you IRISH football no matter the win loss total will always be relevant, just because you say it's not doesn't make it true. Can't wait for Sept. 4th and another great football game. Oh and by the way just because 2 morons put together a web site doesn't mean they speak for all of ND Nation. Good Luck Purdue fans on a good season except on Sept.4th

jfiandt said...

So is this an attempt to justify ND in the eyes of the non-believers or to justify the program in the eyes of the converted, Todd?

I am confused by your post's intent.

Ben said...

Ah, the Dolden Gomers. What is good about Notre Dame? They have a really nice golf course...and I once shit in the cup at the 16th hole. True story. Hardly any beer was involved at all.

RoyMan said...

for a while I thought urinating on assembly hall would be the most epic thing to, its gotta be urinating on the dome building (or TD jesus if possible)

Chad said...

I dont know why purdue fans just can live with the fact that they suck and will always be the step child to IU in basketball and ND in football. Live with it and just enjoy the beer and fat girls that are everywhere for all to enjoy in W.L. Go Irish!

J Money said...

Keep telling yourself that, Chad.

Enjoy another .500 season and another one-and-done-in-the-tourney for hoops -- if you're lucky.

jfiandt said...

Chad = case in point.

Poor grammar? Check.
Brings up fat chicks @ Purdue argument? Check.
Lives in Mommy and Daddy's basement? Check.

It is past your bedtime, boy. McDonald's egg McMuffin maker does not start itself and you better not be late.

Anonymous said...

Purdue fans include only people who went to Purdue and family members of people who did.

IU basketball includes people who didn't go to a big sport school and its more fashionable to root for IU. They also tend to be less die-hard than the people who experienced being a fan while going to school there and also tend to be less knowledgeable of college sports in general

Same as ND football (and i guess catholics)

Personally, as an IU alumn I dont care for these losers rooting for my alma mater.

Purdue fans, just remember there are legit fans of IU basketball that no reality. Sometimes people on this site just need to relax a little.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

and fans of mustaches are also included as people who probably root for Purdue! just playing around guys...

Anonymous said...

Chad and Ron appear to be good examples of their alma maters. At least IU alums are smart enough to understand what time it is. Chad proves that inside every "Our Lady of Football" fan is a donut eating manatee screaming "We're still relevant!" By the way Chad, the little woman is a Purdue alumnus who weighed 108 lbs. in college and is 113 lbs. now at 37. When you wife is 37, you can expect her to have the piano legs that are emblematic of ND women. Now you have something to look forward to.