Saturday, December 15, 2012
And, of course, there is no good answer. There is no meaning. There is nothing anyone can tell you that will make you feel okay about this. It's natural to seek it -- and also part of the grief process -- but it will never make sense. It will never be okay. It will never be understood. Asking the questions of why and trying to get into the minds of evil/insane people is a lost cause. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out because you never will. You will never understand why someone could be so unhinged because, presumably, you're not so off-course yourself.
Some react with anger. Others react by turning to God. Many experience a combination. You need to do whatever works for you, in my opinion. If you're angry and that helps you through it, that's fine. But also be understanding of others and their process.
It's also natural for all of us to try to imagine the pain and anguish those parents/families are experiencing. And those who have children will often seem harder-hit, as they imagine their little ones meeting such a fate -- they are imagining the unimaginable and it's enough to bring the most dark-hearted of us to tears. And while we all try to say we think about what it would be like if it was our families, we really cannot know unless it has happened. What we're really all saying, I think, is that we wish we could share that anguish, if only to take even a little of it off the shoulders of those living it. If only we could take away some of the pain...share it so they don't have to absorb it all. If only we could lessen their suffering. Unfortunately, all we can do is be there for each other, express our love and hold them up in any way they need, be it emotionally or even physically.
In the coming days there will be arguments about what should be done, laws that we need or don't need, and sadly this, like so much else, will have its partisan nature. I wish it wasn't the case, but it's the nature of things. And perhaps that, too, is all part of the healing process.
As we are reminded every time lives are extinguished far too soon, nothing prepares you for the brutal finality of unexpected death. That it was 20 little children only further compounds the anguish and makes the unfairness of it all that much more magnified.
Life is truly precious and every day is a gift. Live your days... and love each other. Peace be with you.
To donate to the Newtown, CT Youth and Family Services, click here.