Brady Quinn's Pretty Face May Be Damaged

Since Tim refuses to write about Cleveland sports despite living in Cleveland, that means I have to. And what's happening in Cleveland? Besides being cold and snowy?

Well, Romeo Crennel apparently thinks he shouldn't be going anywhere and, more interestingly, in an early Christmas present, Brady Quinn has once against inserted himself into a messy situation.

Evidently he did something that a teammate didn't like and he got punched in his mug for it. It's always good when your supposed franchise quarterback is such an a-hole that he has other players taking swings at him.

Quinn was quoted as saying he didn't understand why Shaun Smith got so upset in the weight room. Brady said the way he was "spotting" Shaun was the way they always did it at Notre Dame. Something about the "Teabag spot."*

*May or may not be factually accurate.

Brady Quinn Autobiographical Photo Essay

Brady Quinn was kind enough to share an autobiographical photo-essay with us here at BS, on the day of his first start as QB for the Cleveland Browns.

Hi, I'm Brady Quinn. Man, am I gorgeous, or what? I knew the cameras were there on this day and while everyone else wore shirts, I knew what the people came to see. Did you know most sports photographers are male? I'm just saying.

I've heard people say this routine at my sister's wedding was a "cry for help." I don't know what people mean by that. The village people are awesome and perfectly normal to dress up as. I also love to just feel the music and dance dance dance... without any chicks near me.

Shoulder pads do nothing but get in the way. I never liked this pic much because you can't see my rippling chest... and what's better, photography-wise, than a rippling, manly chest? I also had that fake sweat put on my forehead for the photo shoot so it would look like I do more than hold a clipboard with a mirror on it during games. Do you know what the best part of getting sweaty is, though? Getting to go in and take a shower with my teammates. No chicks allowed!

I've heard that announcing your gayness (and by that I mean happy) subtly can be done by posing under waterfalls and other such "happy" scenarios. Man, I'm gorgeous. What am I looking at, you might wonder? Well, there was this really nice "grip" on the set. He couldn't have been more than 19. But he had an ass like a ten year old boy. Wait, what was the question?

You know, I don't mind when my likeness is used for advertising purposes, but you probably heard about how I got mad when this ad was all over the Internet. I mean, I was mad because they had no right to do this without my consent. (Truth is, though, between you and me, I was fine with it -- I just wish they'd used a better picture, but there I am gabbing on the phone with Jimmy Clausen. He's so silly.)

I get told all the time that I have the sexiest bed head. Still waiting to hear that in the huddle, though. Ahem.

Just floating around naked on a raft in Charlie Weis' pool. He fed me grapes later after bouncing them off my firm rear. All part of the deal when you're the QB of a program that won a bowl game as recently as 1994.

Remember the splashy water thing? Well, that's a theme I like to continue. Along with being shirtless and tossing a football. Honestly, I've thrown way more footballs in photo-ads than I have in the NFL.

People didn't seem to accept the fact that I was really gay happy and wanted everyone to know it, so I've gotten a little more demonstrative of the fact that I'm the gayest happiest quarterback in all the land. Here I am on a jetski with some random guys pretending to give a BJ. Nothing says "fun guy" like making BJ gestures around young men. You know what the best part of jet-skiing that day was? Showering with these dudes at the campground shower room. No chicks allowed!!

Sometimes I just make a really, really, really gay pose, like my patented puppy-dog, head-cock (whoops! I said "cock"!), while having my undies peeking out of my shorts. Chicks think it's so cute and they always want pictures. Probably to show their boyfriends. At least I hope so.

I'm really not sure what else I can do to prove my gayness happiness to you people. What do I have to do, grab some dude's beanbag and then telestrate it for you? Okay, fine, there you go.

Remember that "grip" I mentioned who was working on the set of that photo shoot? First off, I love that they call him a "grip" because, trust me, his grip was fantastic. Not as firm as mine, but pretty good all the same.

I have so many more photos I could share with you people, but I've got to go get back to reading the playbook for tonight's game. But here's another favorite of me with my shirt off around other dudes with no chicks in sight. And again, I'm on the horn with Jimmy. He's so silly.

No chicks allowed! Am I right?

It's Been Pretty Great...

Well, the NFL Pre-Season is nearly upon us, so I thought I'd post my thoughts about what it's been like to live in the home of the reigning World Champions. It's been surreal. I've been a Purdue fan my entire life, I've been a Colts fan since they came to Indy (that said, I'd much rather watch college sports) and I used to be a Pacers fan until the NBA became a travishamockery. So, I have never been around a true champion until 2007. J's from near NY, so he's seen a championship or two...And Tim's Browns, Indians & Cavs...well nevermind.

My point is, it has been as great as I thought it would be; Simply soaking up all of the delicious championship flavors and aromas during the past 7 months. But, there's no rest for the weary, as the NFL season will commence shortly. While I don't believe the Colts will repeat, I actually think they might be better than last years team...much like the '05-'06 Colts were. I believe the offense will flourish again with the help of the slot receiver (Gonzalez), and the defense could be better too if they can stay healthy up front.

I think it'd be easy and cliche for me to predict my early Super Bowl favorite, but instead, I'll pick a few teams that I think have no shot- Here goes. The no-brainer is the Falcons, but I think the Browns will be worse than them...Brady Quinn earned my respect during his career at UND for always getting up despite getting shellacked from time-to-time. That slight respect has been replaced recently as the metrosexual QB has been holding out for top-5 money (despite the fact that he was barely picked in the first round); hopefully, the Browns won't cave BQueer's demands. A couple more team's I'm looking to fail are the Dolphins (why in the hell would you hire Cameron, and nice job passing on Brees) & the Raiders...they are afterall, still the Raiders. More NFL news to come as the doldrums of summer are whisked away by the joys of football season...