Back From My Own All-Star Break

Being the All-Star Blogger that I am, I deserved a break in the middle of the summer, too, so I took the last week off. A picture from my week at the beach is included here:

Yeeeah, boyeeeeee!

Fat chicks man... they provide heat in the winter and shade in the summer. But enough about our readership's dating history (yeah, that's right -- I just slammed all of you in one shot).

So Tim's back from Hawaii, I'm back from the East coast beaches, and Boilerdowd is back from... well... rumor has it he ventured out of his basement (yes, he actually blogs from his basement -- if only it were his mom's basement, the cliche would be complete).

Anyhow, tonight is the Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium and the baseball site Home Run Derby has some thoughts on it and how you should celebrate it. Hey, it's the one day you should all link to HRD, which is, by the way, an all-around terrific site on all days.

In addition, that dude who still thinks he's like 11 and tries to nab balls at MLB stadiums will be in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium tonight for the derby. I think it's kind of funny that he's excited about being in the second row of Section 43 of the bleachers. Section 43 is the last section before the "black seats" -- the center field section of bleachers into which less than thirty players have ever hit a home run. They very rarely go into Section 43. So good luck with that, dude. I'm not saying there won't be home runs that can reach Section 43 -- it's just no going to be many.

Back to work, clowns. Your homework assignment for tonight -- watch the Home Run Derby and do so with the volume on. He who lasts the longest listening to Berman and Joe Morgan without taking out their own eardrums wins a special prize.

I missed you guys like a fat kid misses cake.

Poor Hawaii

You've probably been hearing more about the University of Hawaii football program this year than you ever have, mainly because of their sensational system quarterback, Colt Brennan. Nobody picks apart vaunted defenses such as Northern Colorado or Charleston Southern (seriously? Charleston Southern?) like him.

But this post is actually about some whining the football program is doing. You see, they have long flights to get to their away games which result in "demanding" road trip conditions. (One can only assume that none of these guys studied Geography in high school as the reason they would be surprised by how far away Hawaii is from basically any other land mass.)

From the article:

"We're very isolated out here and I don't think people tend to appreciate that and don't realize how much we overcome," Brennan said. "When people come and play us, they gain time. No one ever talks about this and says it straight: When we go and play teams, we lose time."

Yes, you lose time. But teams coming to play you, that's easy? I don't completely follow. It's hard to adjust anytime you travel that far.

While many teams complain about how difficult it is to travel to the islands, Coach June Jones said traveling east is "way worse."

"They should try it. We sleep on the plane all night and try to get ready to play a football game," he said. "It's [traveling west] not even the same ballpark going east."

Yes, you sleep on your private, chartered plane. I'm sure it's a nightmare.

Then the story gets particularly interesting to me, though. More from Colt Brennan:

Brennan said it's much easier for teams to play in Hawaii because all the players just have to stay up late to adjust to the time change, while the Warriors are forced to sleep and wake up earlier than normal.

"It's a lot harder to get up early at 3 in the morning and go play a football game at 7 in the morning," he said. "So people tend not to respect us, and that's why we're always an underdog."

Hmmm, get up at 3 in the morning and go play a game at 7 in the morning. Really? Since Hawaii is in the WAC, they play mostly Western teams, meaning their road trips usually put them in the Pacific or Mountain time zones. 7 AM Hawaii time is 9 AM Pacific time and 10 AM Mountain time. Played a lot of games against Boise State or BYU at 10 AM, have you, Colt?

But let's not just pick on Colt for hypotheticals. Let's look at their actual schedule and all the unfair road game times they have to face this year.

9/7 @ La Tech: 7 PM Eastern, 2 PM Hawaiian.
Doesn't seem unreasonable or "7 AM."

9/15 @ UNLV: 9:30 PM Eastern, 3:30 PM Hawaiian.
Gosh, that seems downright midafternoon.

9/29 @ Idaho: 5 PM Eastern, 12 Noon Hawaiian.
When most college games are played.

10/12 @ San Jose State: 8 PM Eastern, 3 PM Hawaiian.
Again, not even close to the AM.

11/16 @ Nevada: 11:05 PM Eastern, 6:05 PM Hawaiian.
Gee, that almost sounds like an advantage for Hawaii.

And that's the road schedule. Their earliest road game is at Noon, Hawaiian time and that only happens once. Seems like this bitching is all a bunch of mularky. But wait, let's look even closer at their schedule (and hey, what a schedule, boys -- well done) and see what the visitors to Hawaii have to endure.

9/1 vs Northen Colorado: 7:05 PM Hawaiian, 9:05 PM Mountain.
Kind of late for the hapless Bears to begin getting steamrolled.

9/22 vs Charleston Southern: 7:05 PM Hawaiian, 12:05 PM Eastern.
So it's okay for Charleston Southern to have to fly 6,000 miles and then play after midnight their time? Classy hosts.

10/7 vs Utah State: 7:05 PM Hawaiian, 9:05 PM Mountain.

10/28 vs New Mexico State: 7:05 PM Hawaiian, 9:05 PM Mountain.
Seems to me Hawaii is getting the better end of these WAC matchup timeframes.

11/10 vs Fresno State: 6:05 PM Hawaiian, 8:05 PM Mountain.
Okay, the first somewhat fair one.

11/23 vs Boise State: 3:05 PM Hawaiian, 5:05 PM Mountain.
I wonder if Boise State pressed this issue.

12/1 vs Washington: TBD.

So I don't know. It seems like Hawaii schedules games mostly in the evening when their opponents are really not used to playing games. Add onto that the inherent exhaustion that comes with simply traveling 3,000-6,000 miles just to get to Honolulu and you have a pretty disoriented visiting team. Brennan then throws four quick-strike TDs and suddenly you're down a ton and out of your game plan. Good formula.

But to bitch and moan about how hard the gents from Hawaii have it is disingenuous at worst and clueless at best. Just look at the schedules, boys.