Most Sincere Apology Ever

One of Mike Vick's well-paid lawyers read a statement from the much-maligned "QB" (QB is in quotes because I thought quarterbacks were supposed to be able to throw the ball) on Tuesday. Either Vick is the most stupid person in the world, or his lawyers are...

"Today in court I pleaded innocent to the allegations made against me. I take these charges very seriously and look forward to clearing my good name. I respectfully ask all of you to hold your judgment until all of the facts are shown. Above all I would like to say to my mom I'm sorry for what she has had to go through in this most trying of times. It has caused pain to my family and I apologize to my family. I also want to apologize to my Falcon teammates for not being with them at the beginning of spring training."

Alright, let's say you're not a big sports fan, and you spend all of your time with your nose in law-talking guy books...Are you so wrapped up in your research that you haven't noticed that it's summer, late-summer at that? Regardless, we all knew Vick was full of crap, now we know his lawyers are a perfect fit for him because they are too.

Joke of the day...

I heard this on the radio, so I can't take credit for it...

You've all probably heard of the cat that has predicted the death of 25 elderly people in a nursing home in Providence, RI. Well, that isn't amazing to some people. In fact, Michael Vick made a statement regarding the remarkable feline on the way into court on Thursday.

He said, "Sure, that cat can guess when those people are going to die...but if I got to meet Oscar, I'm positive I could tell you when he would die."

A Disgusting Excuse For A Human

That's what Michael Vick is to me. I mean, you know, if this dogfighting stuff turns out to be true.

We have to caveat our hatred for the man with that statement that this all only applied if he turns out to be guilty of the various dogfighting and animal cruelty crimes he was indicted on yesterday.

But even before this, Ron Mexico was a dirty punk. This is a guy who knowingly had unprotected sex with a woman while he was infected with genital herpes, spreading it to her and bringing another lawsuit upon himself.

This is a guy who flipped off his home fans (pictured) after a loss to the Saints last November.

This is a guy who had something sketchy enough in his water bottle that he didn't want to give it up when he was traveling through Miami's airport. It appeared there was weed stashed in it but the police eventually said there was nothing wrong with the bottle. Vick claimed the bottle's "secret compartment" was where he stashed jewelry which was why he was reluctant to give it up. Right, Mike.

When the Virginia Tech shootings occurred, do you know how much Michael Vick -- perhaps the most visible alum of the school -- donated? $10,000, according to Wikipedia. Michael Vick is in the midst of a ten year, $130 million deal and his signing bonus in 2004 was $37 million.

And now here we are with the dogfighting, something so disgusting and reprehensible that it takes pretty sick people to even watch it, let alone do the things that Vick has been accused of. Just from what was being reported last night, Vick and/or his close associates did the following to poor-performing dogs:

- electrocuted them
- drowned them
- hung them
- slammed them to the ground until death

This is so indescribably sick that it's hard to even think about. He's a sick, sick bastard to be able to be this cruel to animals. I'm the first one to make fun of animal rights activists but this just makes my stomach turn.

Paging Ron Mexico. Mr. Mexico, please pick up the nearest white courtesy phone.

Here lies the Aquafina Water Bottle Diversion Safe. Courtesy of one Michael Vick.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was reluctant to throw away his 20-ounce water bottle at a Miami International Airport security checkpoint Wednesday morning.

The reason, police say: The plastic bottle had a secret compartment that, when opened, had a dark residue and a pungent odor of marijuana.

You can read more of the story here at the Miami Herald.

This may be the break we needed to finally win the war on drugs!