Vroom!

Who's ready for some open-wheel racing?



"It makes it difficult on the drivers behind"? (End of clip.) Hey-yo!

I like to call the following clip "WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"



Here's one where your butt must just pucker up the second you feel the air get under your ride:



And, of course, an IndyCar post isn't complete without a clip of the most successful a driver on the circuit.



Play ball!

Inside The Purdue Locker Room

[Scene: Inside the Purdue locker room. No coaches are present. Rob Hummel gathers the team.]

Rob Hummel: Gentlemen, I feel like I should say something to you all here... you know, to inspire you or something.

Chris Kramer: [eating handfuls of galvanized nails like they're peanuts] Like what, man?

Hummel: I don't know... I just feel like you guys looked really down when I got hurt on Weds and I don't want to see you play like that anymore. Look, you're the #3 team in the nation, and without me, you don't suddenly become a mediocre team.

Ryne Smith: Well, several media geniuses think so, and they're really smart.

Kramer: As usual, Ryne, you're off the mark.

LewJack: OOooh, burn, dawg!

Hummel: Lewis, are you high?

LewJack: [eats Cheetos off the floor]

JaJuan Johnson: Naw, man, Lew isn't high. He's just his own kinda man, you know? Y'all know he's a little strange sometimes.

Kramer: [drinking vitamin water with ground glass in it] True, true. Nobody works the point like LewJack, though.

Hummel: Anyway, my point is you guys are damn good. JJ, you've been able to dominate games over the past couple years. It's time for you to step it up and be the go-to man down low every night. And Keaton! You were all-conference two years ago, man! You HAVE the skills. Everybody in this room knows it. You just need to not...well...you know...


Kelsey Barlow: [makes choking sign]

Hummel: Yes, Kelsey, thank you, that's enough. Go do some wind sprints.

Kelsey: What??

Hummel: You heard me, freshman! Do it! And bring me a coffee!

Kramer: And bring me some insulation fiberglass on a stick like cotton candy.

LewJack: Yo, man, CK, you're tougher than any dude I ever seen.

Kramer: Thanks, Lew. [Pats Lewis Jackson on shoulder; dislocates LewJack's shoulder] Whoops, my bad, Lew.

Keaton Grant: Robbie's right. We need to all step it up a bit. Where's Patrick?

Patrick Bade: [rasies hand from back corner of room]

Hummel: Patrick, why are you way back there? We're gonna need you to play a pretty serious role now that I'm out.

Bade: [appears frightened; climbs into locker and covers self with laundry.]

Kramer: I know how to toughen him up. [Kramer pulls a belt out of his locker and begins cracking it like a whip]

Johnson: Hang on, man, I don't think that's the way to do this...

Kramer: [shrugs, gnaws on belt buckle.]

Hummel: Guys! Let's stay focused here. We won fourteen games to begin the season and got a little sloppy one week in January...and have won every game since. We're a bad week away from being undefeated. Let's continue to prove how good we are and prove everyone wrong. I'll be right there, cheering you on.... when I'm not winking at chicks in the crowd.

Kramer: What?

Hummel: Dude, now that I'm not playing, I need some help with rehab...

Ryne Smith: Man, I wish I could get hurt.

Kramer: We can arrange that.

Hummel: Everybody, let's gather round....you too, Patrick! Come out of there!

[Everyone crowds around Hummel]

Hummel: Okay, guys, "team" on three... 1, 2, 3

Entire Team: TEAM!

Top Purdue Sports Moment of 2009

The erstwhile proprietor of Hammer and Rails (pictured) would like to know what you think the top Purdue sports moment of 2009 is. And he gives you a list of options to choose from.... they include the following two:

-Women's Basketball makes Elite 8
-Women's softball reaches NCAA round of 32 for the first time

And do you know what's not included? The game that this year moved Danny Hope to tears. The game that encapsulated something not done in 43 years. That may have been part of ushering in a new era of Purdue football. The win at Michigan.

So go on over, cast a vote, and let him know how handsome he is.

(Yes, it's a slow week so I'm picking on Travis. We kid because we love.)

UPDATE: He has added the Michigan game as a choice. I demand a mistrial! Revote!

Matty Painter Knows His Under-19 Men

Wait, that didn't sound right.

As you may have heard, Matt Painter has been named as an assistant coach for the 2009 Under-19 USA Men's Basketball World Championship Team.

This is great in terms of visibility for Purdue basketball, but it means poor Matty has to spend Independence Day in New Zealand.

The chairman of the USA Basketball Men's Junior National Team Committee is Syracuse University head coach Jim Boeheim.

"This is an exceptional young coaching staff," Boeheim said. "Matt (Painter) has done a great job at Purdue retooling that program and what Chris (Lowery) has done is remarkable. Jamie Dixon has won more games in the Big East Conference than anybody in his first few years of coaching, and there have been a few good coaches in the (Big East) conference. They're young guys who have had a lot of success and I just think it's really a tremendous coaching staff."

Boeheim then whined that several fouls on his players were missed last year.

Look Who We Caught On Our Lawn

It's TheUConnBlog! Hey, no, not there! Hey, I just mowed that!

Yes, yes, we know that's how much you respect us... we get it:

Also, they play in the Big 10 conference, which could rightly be described as clown shoes.

Yes, yes, we're not the Big East. Which you didn't win.

You don’t win the Big 10 conference without having some talented, tough players. OK, I don’t really believe that, but at the very least, Purdue creates some match-up problems that UConn will have to contend with.

Interesting half-compliment.

So with that, and my standard “crazy nonsense can happen in one 40-minute basketball game” caveat, I leave you with the words of that great prophet and mediocre utility infielder, Mariano Duncan (or so I am told by our beloved commenters). Let them inspire you.

We play today. We win today. Das it.

Purdue winning would be "crazy nonsense"? Perhaps. This last line almost suggests all they need to do is show up and they can get to work on the game plan for Memphis. Yes, well, don't forget about Missouri. They have a shot.

For the record, the karma Gods are forcing me to give the following caveat: If I’m wrong, it’s not because I jinxed UConn. It’s because Porter found a Chipotle in downtown Glendale.

Indeed. It will not, under any circumstances, be because you were defeated by a Big Ten squad. That's un-possible!

Can you just maybe go over there, in someone else's yard?

No? Ah! That's gross... bad dog!

BAD DOGGIE!!