Your ALCS and NLCS Non-Sequitor Post

It was cute when I put up my predictions for the first round and got told -- by some -- that they would have gone the other way on all four series picks I made.

I also got the most static from Reds fans who claimed I was overlooking them and they belonged, dammit! They were for reals, yo!

As it turns out, I got 3 out of 4 correct and if the Rays hadn't thrown the baseball around like a drunken Curtis Painter in Game 5, it might have been 4 for 4.

Anyway, your championship series breakdown goes like this.

NLCS: San Francisco Giants versus Philadelphia Phillies

Yes, I know everyone is in love with SF's pitching. However, Philly has Roy Halladay, who is unreal, and then they have Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels, both of whom were machines down the stretch. And SF's young guns are a tad overrated. Lincecum is excellent, but Cain's record didn't do much for me. Oh, and then there's this: the Phillies can hit. And hit and hit and hit. And San Fran cannot. That should just about do it. Phillies in 5.

ALCS: New York Yankees versus Texas Rangers

This one is definitely intriguing. The two teams split the regular season series 4-4, but the Rangers swept the Yankees in Arlington a month ago. And they keep bringing that up, because Mariano Rivera hit a batter in one of the games for a walk-off win for the Rangers. Let me explain something: uhhhh, so what? That doesn't matter. Not one bit. Mariano Rivera is a bit different in the playoffs. And if the Yankees have a lead in the later innings, the Rangers will be thinking about him looming.

That said, the Rangers do have weapons and they do have that nonsencial baserunning style. It worked against Tampa because Tampa threw the ball into the outfield. The Yankees probably won't do that, but they're not good at throwing guys out, either.

I think this series is going the Yankees direction, largely because Cliff Lee can only pitch two games, with one being Game 7 (assuming they don't bring him back on short rest earlier). If the series goes 7, the Rangers probably win (again, assuming Lee isn't brought back to pitch Game 6 on short rest, for example). I respect Lee and I respect the Rangers offense. But I think the rest of the pitching favors the Yankees and New York's offense takes a backseat to nobody. Yankees in 6.

BEISBOL!!

I know how much you all love it when I talk about baseball. I take some abuse, especially for being a Yankee fan, but hey, that's life. I grew up a half hour or so from Yankee Stadium, so that's my excuse.

Boilerdowd is on vacation this week at some all-male, nudist retreat somewhere in the Carolinas, but he took the time to say, "J, you have to do a post about the baseball playoffs."

"Fine, fine," I consented. "I'll do it. And stop pointing at my over this skype connection."

So let's get to it... how's it gonna go? Here's what I think.

New York Yankees versus Minnesota Twins

I know the Twins really played well this year. I know they play great in their new ballpark. I know the Yankees played like poop down the stretch and let Tampa back into the division when they should have closed them out. But I also know the Twins are 2-9 in their three ALDS series against the Yankees. And I know the Twinkie Dome was supposed to be this huuuuuge advantage where it was, like, sooo loud you couldn't hear yourself think. The Yankees may not have been able to think, but they were able to win, going 6-0 in the Metrodome in the playoffs. Would I be shocked in the Twins pulled it off this year? No, I guess not, but I just don't see things suddenly changing. Yankees in 4.

Texas Rangers versus Tampa Bay Rays

The Rays are really good. Like, kind of scary good. I've felt this way all season and was pleasantly surprised the Yankees held first place as long as they did. The Rays have offense, defense, speed, pitching and good managing. They've got some youth in some key spots, but most of this team also played in their deep postseason run two years ago, so I don't put much stock in the youth factor as a wide-eyed negative thing. I know the Rangers have Cliff Lee, but they then rely on CJ Wilson next. And the Rangers have never won a playoff series. I'm pretty sure they're the only MLB team that has never won a playoff series. Sure, that doesn't mean anything, really, but it's fun anyhow. I think they're just happy to be there and whenever you have two talented teams like this, I'd go with the manager who looks like he has frosted tips over the guy who looks like a crackhead. Rays in 4.

Cincinnati Reds versus Philadelphia Phillies

The Reds won their division because the Cardinals crapped the bed. Cinci is a nice story but can you name more than Joey Votto in their starting lineup? Sure, they have a guy who has touched 104 MPH on the gun. Can he pitch 40 innings this series? I doubt it. The Phils, on the other hand, are freaking loaded... and talk about a scary team. Offensively, they're stout, but pitching-wise, they're freaky. Halladay, Oswalt, Hamels, all pitching like machines. Thanks for stopping by, Cincinnati. Phillies in 3.

Atlanta Braves versus San Francisco Giants

Is it me, or do most of the NL teams seem like they're there because somebody else couldn't seal the deal? Both Atlanta and SF got in because San Diego spent September falling down the stairs and collapsing in a heap at the bottom. SF got the division away from them and Atlanta clung on to the Wild Card. I look at Atlanta and have a hard time seeing them as a playoff team. San Francisco was destined to get back to the playoffs with their pitching, but I think most people thought they might be another year or so away. Regardless, I don't think Atlanta has the horses to keep up with SF's impressive pitching staff. Giants in 4.

MLB League Championship Series Analyses

Two...big.... SERIES. (What did you think I was gonna say?)

See, I could basically write something completely ridiculous here right now and you'd not even notice it thanks to that opening photo. See, here:

The Tampa Bay Rays are in the American League Championship Series.

How ridiculous is THAT? Oh, right...

ALCS

Tampa Bay Rays versus Boston Red Sox -- I think this series has a chance to be great. The Rays, as I mentioned earlier today, are probably the only team that can really stand in the way of the Red Sox. The Sox are cocky and confident but they lost 10 of 18 to the Rays this season, including some crucial late-season games in Boston. And the Rays pretty much owned them at home. You could go with the argument that the Rays are too young and might feel the pressure, and that the Sox are so experienced and seem to be an October steamroller these days. But I keep coming back to the facts that, as mentioned, the Rays played the Sox well this season and that they won the AL East by winning 97 games. That's pretty impressive. I think each team will win once in the other team's park and that it's going to go the distance. Rays in 7.

NLCS

Philadelphia Phillies versus Los Angeles Dodgers -- Who would have guessed the Dodgers would get to here, only four wins (over the Phillies!) away from the World Series? And in Joe Torre's first year. And with the possibility of Torre, Lowe and, of course, Manny, going back to Boston for the World Series. It's kind of amazing, since the Dodgers were mediocre almost all year and only began playing well when Manny showed up, though even then they managed to have an 8-game losing streak (which, in the NL West, only costs you like 2 games in the standings). I think LA's pitching is incredibly deep; the Phillies pitching is also pretty strong and looked great against Milwaukee. On offense, these teams are closer than you think, thanks to Manny, but really, if the Phillies have any sense, they won't let Manny beat them. Somehow, the Cubs let Manny belt it around the yard, though, so who knows? But I picked against Joe and the Dodgers in the first round and I'm not doing it again. I think they make it in an exciting series. Dodgers in 6.

You Can StickItUpYourAaaaaaaaaaaaaass...YES!

While Boilerdowd reveled in the Cubs flaming out, I rather enjoy the fact that the ChiSox also lost, giving the combined Chicago teams a stellar 1-6 postseason record (conversely, New York teams are hovering right at .500 this postseas -- 0-0).

I actually don't have too many problems with the White Sox -- well, except for Ozzie Guillen, who I do think is an idiot. And, as my headline references, perhaps no homer broadcasters out there incite hate the way Hawk Harrelson does.

But really, it's more that I'm happy to see the Rays move on, as I think they're probably the only team that can beat the Red Sox, who continued to totally own the Angels.

LCS matchup predictions coming soon. (Hey, I went 2-2 in the first round.)

MLB Playoffs Are Here

It's okay, Jonathan, you can admit you're really, really gay.

So what do I think will happen with the MLB playoffs? So glad I asked.

NL

Philadelphia Phillies versus Milwaukee Brewers – I’m never a fan of Philly teams because for pretty much my entire lifetime, they’ve done nothing but let down their fans. And the Phillies are no different. They even feuded with their fans this season. And if not for the Mets AGAIN gurgling up the division, they might not even be here.

The Brew Crew, on the other hand, have been playing like madmen lately and despite starting September poorly, have to feel like they’ve got momentum on their side. Plus CC Sabathia doesn’t hurt and looks like he could pitch every game. He’ll likely go in Game 2 and Game 5. That means the Brewers need to steal one other one… and I think they’ll do it. Brewers in 5.

Chicago Cubs versus Los Angeles Dodgers – This is a tough one for me. I don’t like Lou Pinella. (Can we stop hailing him as a savior in Chicago? This is the same guy who quit on Tampa Bay because losing was too hard for him and rather than turn it around with the young players – as Joe Maddon has done – Lou decided to bolt for a big payday and a huge payroll in Chicago. Whatever.) And I do believe the Cubs will find a way to blow it sometime this postseason.

I really like Joe Torre and think his calming influence and playoff experience will be an asset to the Dodgers. However, that said, the Dodgers really were a pretty mediocre team in a really mediocre division. Sure, they’ve got Manny now and that’s a HUGE improvement and the main reason they managed to win their division. And Manny’s bat could be the difference, especially if the Dodgers steal Game 1 in Chicago. However, I can’t imagine the Cubbies are that stupid – Manny’s basically the one guy they CANNOT let beat them. And I don’t think they will. Cubs in 4.

AL

Boston Red Sox versus Los Angeles Angels – Another really tough series to pick. If you know nothing about past seasons, you go with the Angels, without question. They ran away with their division and looked simply dominant at times… never letting off the gas pedal all season. And the Sox are the wild card team, banged up in multiple spots, with questions in the rotation.

BUT…the Sox simply own the Angels, much the same way the Angels own the Yankees. It’s kind of weird. And I heard it said very well this week – the Angels are built really well for a long haul season, but not particularly well for a short series. Honestly, not many teams that ARE built well for a short series (i.e., two dominant pitchers) are good enough in other areas to be consistently good enough for six months to MAKE the postseason. Anyway, I’m getting off-topic. As good as the Angels have been all year, I just can’t pick them over the Sox, the team that seems to be Angels kryptonite. Red Sox in 4.

Chicago White Sox versus Tampa Bay Rays – If you put money on this matchup happening back in March, you’re probably pretty wealthy now. Who could have expected it? Both teams are thrilled to be there, but I watched the celebrations by both teams and, while I hate to focus on something so silly, I just can’t help but feel like the Rays were so happy but still ready for more, while the Sox seemed to feel like they’d just won the World Series. Maybe that’s just my feeling, but you couple that with the fact that the Rays are just, well, BETTER, and you come away thinking the Rays have got to advance.

The White Sox have been playing high-intensity baseball for the past three days and they barely got by Minnesota on Tuesday night. I just think the Rays are more tested (having outlasted the Red Sox), more ready and more talented. Rays in 4.

October is Different, Part IV: World Series Edition

Colorado Rockies versus Boston Red Sox

I was going to post a nice picture above of Denver and then a crappy picture of Boston but I'm much bigger than that. Just because I hate the Sox doesn't mean I can't be a good guy and evaluate them fairly. Okay, maybe it might seem that way, but the truth is, I picked them to win their first round series and then I picked them to lose in 7 to Cleveland and, had Cleveland not lost a 3-1 lead, I would have looked pretty bright. As it stands, though, I look about as dumb as usual. So let's just get to my breakdown of the World Series.

For starters, I'm just happy there's going to be a game tonight, so we can stop seeing Rockies players being asked what the 8-day layoff is going to mean. They don't know, guys. They've never even been to the World Series, so how can they tell you? Of course they're going to say they enjoy the time off and resting up and OF COURSE we all know they'd rather get right into it. Might they be "rusty"? I guess it's possible, but if Todd Helton sees a Josh Beckett fastball really well and puts it into the seats in the first inning, does all that "rust" talk simply vanish? Probably. And if Beckett shuts them down, like he's done to the Angels and Indians, will people comment on Colorado's rust? Of course they will. It's kind of dumb. But it's hard to think a week off is helpful when you've played baseball pretty much every day since March.

Why The Rockies Might Win: Basically, because they've looked unstoppable for the past month. And with this 8-day layoff, they've now lost one game in the last 38 days. How ridiculous is that? 22-1 in their last 23 games. Supreme confidence. Outstanding hitting. They have the comeback kids kind of mentality that has helped the Red Sox in '04 and '07; that is, simply believing you're going to come back and win no matter what happens. The Rox were down two runs in extra innings of their one-game playoff against San Diego and they came back and won. They were 7+ games out in mid-September and they got in. They haven't lost a game in the postseason yet. (Even those vaunted, always-talked-about Yankees teams from the late-90s didn't sweep their way through the playoffs, so consider that.) The Rockies pitching has been excellent and their bullpen has been lights-out.

Why The Rockies Might Lose: Well, they're the Rockies. Can you imagine the Rockies being the World Series champs? And just like the Phillies that they ousted in the first round, could the Rockies eventually run out of gas? I mean, consider all they've had to do to get here and how much winning baseball they've had to play the past month. They've been in do-or-die playoff mode since about September 15. Teams that have to overcome such deficits often peter out just a bit too early. But hey, you could have made that argument about the Red Sox comeback in '04 over the Yankees and it didn't turn out to hurt them. They just kept plowing along. And so might the Rockies. Another reason they might lose is because they haven't faced a team like the Red Sox yet. The Rockies beat the overrated Phillies (a second-place team only in the playoffs because of an historic collapse by the Mets) and then the overrated Diamondbacks (a team that got outscored on the season and happened to buck statistical trends and eek out 90+ victories). The Red Sox are far, far better than either of those opponents.

Why The Red Sox Might Win: As I just said, on paper they're a better team than the Rockies. Colorado was a fourth-place team for much of the season, trailing the D-Backs, Padres and Dodgers almost all year. Read that again. The Rox were worse than the D-Backs, Padres and Dodgers all year long... until the last two weeks of September. So no matter how hot they are, if you look at things equally, they're not as good as the first-place-all-year Sox. The Sox have the best starter in the series, and among the best in baseball, in Josh Beckett. They have Bloody Sock Schilling, who is good for at least one "heroic" performance each series. And then they have a pretty good stable of pitchers in the bullpen, leading up to Riverdancer Jonathan Papelbon. The Sox also have David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, who both hit over .400 in the ALCS. These guys are fantastic hitters, plain and simple. They're not the concern for Colorado. I think the Rockies will pitch around these guys if they have to, so the question becomes can JD Drew, Dustin Pedroia, Mike Lowell, Jason Varitek, et al, come to play and cash in when they get up there with guys on base.

Why The Red Sox Might Lose: This team has been awfully streaky this season. They came flying out of the gate for two months and then played mediocre baseball for about three months, almost letting the Yankees catch them. Then they played well again right into the playoffs and then, against the Indians, looked awful in falling behind 3-1. Then they seemingly turned it on again and plowed through the Indians. If this team doesn't come out focused against a Rockies team that is sweeping teams out of the playoffs, it could be another 3-1 deficit before they know it. Sure, they've shown they can come back from that, but you see where I'm going with this. In addition, if Schilling or Matsuzaka aren't in top form in Games 2 and 3 (with Matsuzaka tentatively pitching in Coors -- wheee!) the Rockies could get themselves a series lead and even more confidence. Oh, and if Eric Gagne has to pitch, the Sox might as well say goodnight. Man, has he been awful.

Factor Being Talked About That Might Mean Something or Might Mean Nothing: The Rockies came to Fenway in mid-June and took two of three from the Sox, even beating Josh Beckett, who only lost seven games all season. While one might think this could get into Beckett's head, I think it's more likely that he's aware of what he did wrong in that game and is even more focused to take them down. After all, that was a mid-June series when the Sox had a huge division lead and this is the World Series. Hard to compare. But it's good for the Rockies that they know they can win in that challenging venue.

Other Miscellaneous Things I'm Watching For:

Will Manny pose and strut after any home runs? If so, will the Rockies finally be the team willing to knock him down for it? I doubt it, but it's fun to think about.

Will we see significant snow for the first time in a World Series? Quite possible, since it was really snowy in Denver over the weekend. It's not looking to be too bad in the upcoming days but it came show up quickly there. Wouldn't MLB look stupid then if the World Series is postponed by snow. Of course, maybe they never expected the Rockies to ever make a World Series.

Will Eric Gagne be allowed to share in the postgame celebration if the Sox win the World Series?

How many times will we be reminded of the Rockies playing for Mike Coolbaugh? It's definitely awesome that they voted Coolbaugh a playoff share so his family gets it, but I have a feeling we might get hit over the head with it by Fox.

Speaking of Fox, how many crappy sitcom actors will they plant in the stands in Denver or Boston?

How many times will Tim McCarver screw up Troy Tulowitzki's name?

Prognostication: Well, it's about that time. I've gotten the winner right in four of the six series played so far this postseason so I'm doing okay. This is a tough series, as most are, because you just don't know how the teams are going to react. Would anyone have thought the Tigers would look so lifeless and sloppy against the weak Cardinals last season? I mean, isn't it possible to imagine the Rockies continuing their unconscious streak of masterful baseball and getting through the Red Sox to complete their magical season? (Well, okay, magical month.) Sure it is. And isn't it just as easy to imagine the Red Sox simply shutting down the storybook Rockies, simply because they have a more complete, dominant team?

The Rockies have some terrific hitters in Tulowitzki, Helton, Hawpe and Atkins. The Sox have an equally impressive group that includes Ortiz, Manny, Lowell (who led the team in RBIs, betcha didn't know that) and Drew. The Rockies pitching, while outstanding in the playoffs, is not quite the caliber at the top that the Red Sox is. Beyond the top pitchers, though, I think the Rox are a lot closer to the Sox level.

All that said, and as much as I detest the Red Sox, I don't think I can bring myself to actually predict a Rockies win. I'd love to see it happen -- and not just because I don't like Boston. I think the fans of Colorado have seen a mediocre-to-terrible baseball product for most of the time the Rockies have existed. Now, they're finally doing things right and they've gone on an impressive run and seem to have the parts in place to at least remain competitve in the NL West. So I think it'd be great to see a city like Denver, which has won in in the past in hockey and football, get to see a championship-winning baseball team. But I just don't think it's going to happen.

Red Sox in 6.

Post-implosion dissection

The news of the day started ominously with Paul Byrd and HGH the talk of the day. My first thoughts were in conspiracy theory mode. Why wait until the morning of game 7 to bring these out? Did MLB prefer Boston the World Series (of course) and did someone want to distract the Indians? We'll probably never know, but the timing is certaily coincidental. It would be the same thing if David Ortiz was found to be using steroids and the media held onto that information until the most important game of the season.

Anyway, that ultimately had nothing to do with the Indians losing - distraction or not.

Game 7 of the ALCS ended when Joel Skinner stopped Kenny Lofton at third base. While replays clearly showed that Lofton would've scored easily, the brakes were put on not just Kenny, but any momentum the Indians would've gained.

Had Lofton scored, the game would've at least been tied at 3-3 and the Indians would've had the momentum from scoring the last 3 runs of the game. Who knows how the next half-inning would've went. Maybe the Red Sox still would've homered and taken a 2 run lead. I suspect the entire Indians team would've been energized though, and it really would've been a good game.

Instead, Lofton was stopped at third, Blake hit into an inning ending double play, I was really really really not happy, and the game was essentially over. The Indians were completely deflated. It really sucked. A lot.

You can argue that the terrible pitching of Sabathia and Carmona doomed the Indians, but I don't think so. I think a bad call by a usually aggressive third base coach doomed them last night. Granted, CC and Fausto sucked and sucked bad, but even after their horrible performances, the Indians still could've won.

Such is life as a fan of Cleveland sports. They will occasionally take you to the brink of something really spectacular before deciding to stab you in the eye.

This guy's the out you've been waiting your whole life for.

It's Tribe Time Now!

Yeah, it's a stupid slogan, but whatever. Suck it Boston!

The Indians will win tonight. C.C. Sabathia will pitch like he is capable of. It will be a hard fought close game, but the Indians will prevail.

On to the lowest rated World Series in history! I'll be loving every minute of it. Maybe we can get a few games snowed out and end up playing into December. Not to take for granted that the Indians have to win one more game, but I'm taking that for granted.

People around here have finally stopped talking about the Browns, but I'm fairly certain that's only because they have a bye this week. In the mean time, the Indians have certainly succeeded in capturing the town. They are hitting ridiculously well in the clutch. The bullpen is pitching great. The Eddie Harris' of the team (Westbrook and Byrd) are handling the Red Sox lineup. ESPN has finally recognized that it just might be possible that neither the Red Sox nor the Yankees will make the World Series. What could be better?

Now a side note: what exactly is Papelbon doing with Manny's junk?

Now That's A Sports Weekend

It was such a tasty sports weekend, wasn't it Erin Andrews?

I don't even know where to begin with this smattering. (But it won't be with Purdue.)

The ALCS is looking to be a good series. The Indians put up 7 runs in the 11th inning to win Game 2 and that has to have Boston fans thinking now. Schilling was terrible, the Indians got very little from Fausto Carmona and still won. Uh-oh, Boston. Maybe this is punishment for disrespecting the Anthem.

The Rockies have are now 20-1 in their last 21 games and they're up 3-0 on the D-Backs. That's kind of ridiculous and awesome at the same time.

Brett Favre became the all-time leader in career interceptions just two weeks after becoming the all-time leader in TD passes. That's kind of amusing. I don't think they stopped the game to present him with a statue of him chasing a DB returning a pick, though. (But it would have been funny if they had.) ESPN is still finding new ways to slobber Brett's knob -- right now they have a "list of Favre's best games played right after his birthday." Seriously? Give it a rest.

The Patiots absolutely pasted the Cowboys (in Dallas, no less) yesterday. I don't think I've ever been happier about a Boston sports team winning. The Cowgirls are not nearly as good as their 5-0 record suggested and the Patriots completely de-pantsed them and exposed it for all to see. Tom Brady is having a superhuman season right now, and the Patriots haven't scored less than 34 points in any game this season.

George Steinbrenner is apparently "ceding" control of his Yankees to his sons. Okay, then. Does anyone still think George is running the show? He doesn't appear in public anymore, he's never at Yankee Stadium... it's kind of silly at this point.

Vinny Testaverde is still alive. Who knew? The Jets probably should have re-signed him.

The BCS Standings are out (and, really, doesn't it make sense for all polls to start around this time?) and Ohio State, amazingly, is #1 despite being in what they were even admitting was a rebuilding year. Get ready for more insufferable tOSU fans and shirts that say, "We don't rebuild -- we reload!" But it's pretty damn amazing to look at the BCS as well as the other, more traditional polls. South Florida is #2 in the country?? They've only existed as a D1 program for like a decade.

Once again, our friends over at Hawaii almost blew their chance at a perfect season, narrowly beating San Jose State in OT. And yet they find themselves at 18 in the BCS and 16 in the AP. Completely ridiculous and unjustified. I know this is the voters humoring Hawaii/WAC supporters because it is indeed hard to say a D1 program that is 7-0 shouldn't be ranked. But they're really not even as good as their ranking suggests. Just wait and see if they get into a major bowl against a big-time program. It might get embarrassing for them. Like, I'm talking 6 or 8 picks for pass-happy, overrated sexual assaulter -- err, I mean, quarterback -- Colt Brennan. Hell, he threw four picks against San Jose State! He threw for a ridonkulous 545 but also tossed the ball 75 times. Hawaii rushed for... 56 yards. Total. That's kind of... imbalanced.

Amazingly, I'm going to talk about the WAC twice in this post -- I actually watched the OTs last night in the Boise State-Nevada game. (Why college football is being played on Sundays now, I do not understand.) BSU won the game, 69-67 because Nevada failed to get the two-point conversion in the fourth OT session. I'll admit, I wanted to see them hit 70 points. But still, can you imagine your school putting up 67 points... and losing? One thing I also have to say about this game is that the combo of WAC offenses, weak defenses and tired players led to the offenses in the OTs being completely unstoppable. Just look at the OT scoring summaries... the first few were one or two play "drives" of 25 yards and, boom, there was your TD. What irritated me, though, was Bill Curry, who was supposed to be providing color analysis for the game, just wanted the game to be called a tie and wouldn't let it go. At about the third overtime, he began pointing out that these "kids" were "tired" and that "somebody could get hurt." Jeez, Bill, are you a cub scout den mother or something? It's (supposedly) big time college football. Don't give me this "the kids are tired" bullsh-t. They want to win as much as anyone. And ties were eliminated a while ago, Bill. Deal with it, or shuffle off to retirement. At one point, a Nevada defender twisted a finger or wrist or something on an awkward tackle and Curry acted like this proved his point. Like guys couldn't get hurt earlier in the game. Just intolerable to listen to. Shut up and call the game.

Hey, is anybody else tired of seeing Dane Cook pretend to be such a huge baseball fan and continually enunciating to us that "There's only one October"? Well, Saturday Night Live finally decided to have some fun with it and what bothers me about this sketch is that practically nobody laughs... maybe they don't get it because they haven't seen the commericals, or maybe they all just really love Dane Cook. Still, pretty funny and it's about time.

Last week, during the first couple games of the MLB postseason, you may have seen a few ads for Frank TV. Or like a few thousand. After about the 500th cutaway to a Frank TV ad, one of our readers and friend (when he doesn't do his disappearing act) sent me a text message that simply said, "Frank TV looks good." Sometimes it's the simple humor that makes me laugh most.

I'm sure there was more -- I know there was -- but that's all the time we have now, folks.

October is Different, Part III

After four terrible first-round series in the MLB playoffs, we're down to the Final Four. And if you had these final four back in the beginning of the season, well, you're a complete liar. Oh, sure, a lot of people thought the Sox would be good and quite a few may have believed the Indians could bounce back from a poor showing last year, but if you claim you knew the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Colorado Rockies would be in the NLCS, you're a big fat liar. So let's get on with it, shall we?

Arizona Diamondbacks versus Colorado Rockies

Both of these teams don't belong here. This was supposed to be the Mets and the Dodgers, wasn't it? Or the Mets and Cubbies? Or the Cards and Phils? Anybody but these two. These teams were expected to be at the bottom of the heap in their own division and with just a couple weeks to go in the regular season, the Rockies were indeed near the bottom of the NL West. Well, you know the rest... they went on an unbeliveable, almost movie-like run, winning 13 of 14 to close the regular season. That one loss? To the Game 1 starter tonight, Brandon Webb, and the D-backs. (Am I the only one who always looks at that "D-Backs" jersey and thinks "D-bags," as in "Douchebags"? I am? Okay.) Then the Rocks continued winning, closing out the season with two more wins and then beating San Diego in that incredible one-game playoff last Monday.

They then continued to buzzsaw right along, punching the Phillies in the mouth and taking that series in three straight. I will say, though, that Philly looked like a team that had done what they did -- spent five months trying to catch the Mets. They caught them, squeaked into the playoffs and had nothing left. Of course, one could make the same argument for the Rockies, although they didn't spend the entire season under the pressure of being expected to challenge for their division. They were kind of expected to suck, so there wasn't much pressure, and when they began winning at a ridiculous clip, people were very supportive and thought it was great. So here they are.

The D-Backs are still confusing people. They were outscored during the regular season, which almost always means you're not a very good team. But for the D-Backs this year, it has simply meant that when they win, they win 3-2 and when they lose, they lose 12-3. That sort of thing. That kind of stuff usually balances out over the course of 162 games but it hasn't this year. The D-Backs are a statistical anomaly, which is why I picked them to lose to the Cubbies in the first round. That and because I find the D-Backs and their fans boring. Boring fans, boring level of interest, boring team. And yet they keep on winning, going so far as to sweep the Cubs in the first round. They have JD Drew's less worthless brother, Stephen, they have a pitcher (Micah Owings) who hits a ton, and they were the only team in the NL to win 90 games (until Colorado reached that mark with the one-game playoff win). So they must be good. I just don't see it.

So what will happen? Will this long stretch of off-days hurt the Rockies momentum? Well, there's not really any such thing as momentum, so I don't think so. Since the Rockies have only lost one game in almost a month, and it was to this team and this guy in this park... I'll say the D-Backs win Game 1. But I think the Rockies hitting just might be enough. Obviously, this series could go either way and I really think it should be a good one. It's very, very hard to pick the Rockies to go to the World Series because it just sounds weird to say it. And it also might snow in the World Series if the games are played in Denver. But, all that being said, I don't see any reason to stop riding the Rockies surge.

Rockies in 7.

Boston Red Sox versus Cleveland Indians

While a lot of people think that MLB and television execs wanted this one to be Yankees-Sox, this series should be a lot better. While it won't have quite the drama as New York-Boston would have on the Eastern seabord, it'll be a better matchup and it's a good thing we don't have to see more stupid footage of the Sox and Yankees battling.

The Indians put a hurting on Yankee pitching, especially their supposed stud ace, Chein-Ming Wang. The Yankees couldn't do very much at all against the Indians top two pitchers, CC Sabathia and Fausto Carmona. And if Fausto Carmona isn't the best smut love novel name in MLB, I don't know what is.

The Indians hit a ton but they also strike out a lot. Grady Sizemore, for example, struck out 155 times this year. That's a lot, especially for a top of the order guy. If he does that and doesn't show discipline, the Sox pitchers will eat him up.

Pronk (Travis Hafner) needs to also step up his game. This guy had a respectable year, but it was a considerable downgrade from 2006. He, Sizemore and Victor Martinez need to be the guys in this series who control the Tribe's future. They cannot rely on the likes of Casey Blake or Senor Gutierrez. And Sabathia has to be better than he was in Game 1 against the Yankees. People forget this now because the Indians blew it open, but the Yanks had closed it to 4-3 and were clearly seeing the pitches against Sabathia okay. If the Yanks could have held down the Cleveland attack for another inning or two, I think that game might have turned very differently and beating the team's ace would have meant a lot. The same applies in this series -- if the Sox beat down Sabathia, the Indians are in trouble. Cleveland needs -- needs -- Sabathia and Carmona to win games, because Jake Westbrook and Paul Byrd are not going to win much. If they can get a single win from the latter two, that would be terrific. The Sox are a patient, good-hitting team that will totally feast on the junkballs Byrd throws and the mediocre stuff that Westbrook has. Trust me on this -- Sabathia and Carmona need to be sharp.

For the Sox, there is some truth to this as well. If Beckett and Schill get slapped around, the Sox are in trouble becuase if they have to rely on Fatsuzaka and Wakefield for big wins, it's gonna be a short series. Thing is, I think Beckett will win his game and I think Schill will lose at least once. I think that opens the door for the Tribe and it will kind of depend on whether or not Cleveland's second-tier starters can get the ball to the Indians excellent bullpen. Well, excellent until you get to the closer role.

As much as I want to see Cleveland win, I have serious, serious concerns (along with all of Cleveland, I imagine) about Joe Borowski as closer. What is it with Cleveland closers, anyway? Borowski, Wickman...can they get a non-fat-slob closer in there or what? Maybe David Wells is available to close for those guys next year. Damn, they all look like Lou Brown. Maybe it's the food in Cleveland. Too many trips to the Bob Evans and Steak-N-Shake.

This is another one that's really hard to pick -- and that's a good thing. It means baseball is doing well and there's a fair amount of parity, despite what people like to say.

My gut makes me think the Sox are going to pull through, and I think that's because they're a bit more of a veteran club and a team that's been there before. The guys on that team that came back from the 0-3 hole to the Yankees believe -- rightfully so -- that anything is possible and that they're never beat. If they go down 0-2 to Sabathia and Carmona, they're not going to panic (although all of New England might).

All that said, I think the Indians are a terrific team and I felt they were a World Series team back in the Spring. And why not...

Indians in 7.

Wait? Wasn't that a long time ago?

Due to outrageous public demand, I will re-post this here, even though it is well past due. This is my little tale of the Indians-Yankees game from last Friday. It was the ALDS game 2.

Before the game I saw John Adams - he that bangs the drum during the games - standing outside of Gate C. I walked by, commented to Lindsay about how I should get a picture, then went back and got a picture. I'm glad I did. I'm aware that it's ridiculous, but I'm still glad I got a picture. Also, as you can tell (or not, because the number is hidden), I'm sporting my #99 Rick Vaughn jersey, as promised. While we were walking in I saw someone else wearing a #43 Roger Dorn jersey. He wouldn't have been my first choice from the movie, but hey... whatever floats your boat.

The Division Series playoff game between the Indians and Yankees on 10/5/07 is one of the greatest games I've ever attended. It was filled with drama, clutch situations, abnormal circumstances, and overtime.

There were a lot of chances for the Indians to put some runs on the board, but at every turn, Andy Pettitte shut them down, much to my chagrin. He and Fausto Carmona each pitched extremely well. In fact, all the pitchers that night pitched well. Even Joba Chamberlian, he of the plague infested variety, pitched well. He was clearly bothered by the bugs, and I truly believe it got into his head. He wasn't the same pitcher after being doused with gallons of bug spray. The bugs, while clearly in the face of the Indians players as well, didn't seem to affect the Tribe the same way. The Yankees players appeared in general to be much more distracted by them. As a fan in the stands, I wasn't bothered by them at all... mainly because they were nowhere near the stands. Lindsay said one flew into her eye, but I never noticed any.

It is, as you can see, Tribe Time Now! Apparently. I'm not sure who came up with that slogan, but meh. Whatever. They handed out towels with the It's Tribe Time Now! saying on it also. It will join my sports towel collection, perhaps in a to be determined place of honor.

Pandemonium set in after Hafner's game winning hit. Cowboys were hugging Indians. Dogs were hugging cats. It was just like at the end of the movie Major League. We stayed in the stands for a good 10 minutes after the game just releasing all of the pent up emotion of the game. It was a really great game, and a perfect example of why baseball is such a great sport.

Is it time for panic yet?

Further, can Tim and other Indian fans believe that their Indians might actually belong playing the Yanks? Obviously, God's on the Indians side (swarms of angry bugs helped in the effort Friday)...Let's see if Cleveland can finish it out.

Uh Oh.

It turns out all of that momentum that the Phillies and Yankees had coming into the playoffs isn't worth a bowl of warm damn. Sadly, the Yankees lost game one and the Rockies won game one of their series...I'm sure MLB isn't happy about either situation.



Tim enjoys the post-game afterglow of his Indians big victory over J's Yankees.

Major League 4: First Blood Part 2

In honor of my hometown Indians and their epic struggle against the New York Darth Vaders, I've decided to go back to a simpler time. A time when Indians greats like Pedro Cerrano and Roger Dorn played. I hereby present some memorable Major League quotes. If you don't like them then you're a communist.

I play for the Indians.
Here in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team!
Yep, we've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.

How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
Gee, I don't know...
What do you mean, you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues.
Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls.

This guy threw at his own son in a father son game.

Let's cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this [master falcon] out."

Monty, anything to add?
Ummm... no.
He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

Oh no, no. Too high, it's too high.