Everyone should hate the Mets

If for no other reason than to show some pictures, I feel it's important to alert everyone that Erin Andrews was hit by a foul ball last night at the Mets game.

She's okay, and it didn't damage her most important assets. Her face and chin. Those are obviously what I'm talking about here. C'mon people, get your minds out of the gutter.

In other news. Holy Toledo! How many souls must she have sold? Seriously. I think she needs to be hired by Purdue. Think about what a great recruiting tool she could be. Come play for us and you get to see Erin Andrews every week. I think it could be a winner. Just sayin'.

Joe and Willie - A Short Play

SETTING: A Subway sandwich shop.


Hey, Joe.





Hey, Willie. Why the long face?






Don't be a jerk, Joe. You know what's going on.




What do you mean? No, really.. what's up? I've just been here enjoying my sandwich all weekend. I let Jorge manage. I like to do that when we've got the playoffs wrapped up.




*Eyes Joe suspiciously*





*innocently chews sandwich, wipes dressing from face*





*glances at menu*





So what did you do when you had things wrapped up?




I knew it! I knew you couldn't resist!





Sorry, Willie, but come on... the Phillies? Have you heard Charlie Manuel talk? He's borderline retarded.




Look, Joe, I've had a rough weekend, okay?




Okay, okay. *pause*

So who are you starting in Game 1?




Dammit, Joe!





Sorry! I just can't resist! The Phillies? Weren't you guys in first all season? Weren't we in last in like May? I can't remember because I really don't care. I'm just collecting a paycheck.



Whatever, Joe.





You should really order the mesquite chicken and bacon sandwich.





Really? Is it good?





Pretty good. I enjoyed it all summer long.





Oh, that's cool.




*stifling giggles*
Yeah, then in September I had a Philly Cheese Steak and it was so good, I relegated the mesquite chicken and bacon sandwich to second place.




You're such a jerk, Joe.





I have an idea, Willie, this will make you feel like a winner all over again.





Joe, get away from me. Wha-- what are you trying to put on my head? Come on, Joe...





Just hold still... there we go. How's that?







Gosh, you know, I actually do feel like a winner in this.

Meanwhile, Across Town...

Incredibly, the Mets, who were running away with their division for most of this year, have slippped to just one game ahead of the Phillies as of today after getting swept last night (at home!) by the Washington Nationals. The Nats have taken five of six from the Mets over the past two weeks.

As you may or may not know, I report to you from the NY Metro area and the Mets fans I know are absolutely beside themselves. Last week, I was at a meeting and an attorney (and Mets fan) I know was so disgusted, he could barely articulate it. His answer to the issues? "They need to fire that manager." He couldn't even bring himself to say Willie Randolph's name. And he went on to say he knew they never should have hired a Yankee. Good gracious, are Mets fans this deluded? Do they think a Yankee is some kind of cancer? A guy from a winning organization? Who should they have made the manager? Rickey "Me First" Henderson? (Who, by the way, has to be fired from his job as first base coach. Jose Reyes now gets thrown out way too much and what's changed? Rickey as first base coach.)

Today I came into my office and, again, Mets fans cannot even bring themselves to discuss the situations and many of them (and this is something I've always noticed about Mets fans) claim they're not even watching the games anymore because they don't want to be upset. Amazing.

They are indeed in trouble, though. This isn't one of my posts where I'll tell everyone to calm down. This isn't the New York media building this up to be more than it is. This is the Mets, who had a 7-game lead in mid-September, down to a one-game lead over a hot Phillies team. And if they Mets don't watch what they're doing, they could miss the playoffs altogether. They have four games to go and their magic number is STILL four. This isn't a good team. Pedro's arm is always suspect, Glavine is over the hill, El Duque is over the hill AND hurt right now. Their bullpen is a complete disaster, blowing leads almost every night. And their offense is relying on guys who keep talking about being "tired" (Wright and Reyes) and guys getting older (Delgado, Alou, Lo Duca). Even if they make it into the playoffs, they're not winning it all and I think they'd be lucky to make it out of the Division Series.

But we shall see. Who would have thought the Yankees would clinch first?

There Are Bad Ideas And Then There Is This

I mean, seriously, are the Mets this dumb? As you've no doubt heard if you follow baseball, Rickey Henderson has been hired as the Mets hitting coach.

Rickey Henderson is an imbecile.

Seriously. He's also a self-absorbed, really stupid, really poor example of a professional. I know this probably sounds harsh but if I'm even partially right, is that the kind of guy who should be mentoring young players? Or anyone?

This is the same guy who still thought he might be able to play in the major leagues this season. The same guy who played with John Olerud in Toronto and then when they got together on the Mets a few years later commented on Olerud's on-field helmet and said, "Hey, I played with a guy in Toronto who had to wear one on the field, too." Same guy, Rickey.

Rickey Henderson who used to do the swipe-catch on fly balls. Rickey Henderson who was playing cards in the g-damn clubhouse with notorious asshole Bobby Bonilla during the 1999 playoffs against the Braves. Playing cards in the clubhouse while their team was out there fighting for their season. What a guy!

I've heard that he's been invaluable to Jose Reyes as an instructor with the Mets as well as other young hitters and I only hope (and I'm not even a Mets fan) that he actually is good. Because, on the surface, this is a terrible, terrible decision. Rickey has been divisive and a poor influence in many clubhouses that he has been in. He also had a habit of trying to be more than he was (i.e., trying to be a home run hitter when he really needed to just get on base -- think Willie Mays Hayes from Major League).

This article from a few years back has some brilliant Rickey quotes in it that I will share here in case you don't feel like waiting for the page to load:

On hustling: "I can hit a line-drive, one-hopper to second base. As fast as I am, if you think I'm going to run that fast on a one-hopper to second base, you got some thinking coming. I know I'm out. Then you want to say I didn't hustle. But if the next time I get a base hit, and I'm stealing second and third, am I not hustling? The other guy, he hits the same ball, and look at him. He's still standing at first base. I'm not hustling? You get out of here. You're crazy."

First of all, a line drive and a one-hopper are completely different things but I guess we understand, Rickey. And yes, it absolutely does mean you weren't hustling all the time if you don't run out your grounders hard. Do you know why Ichiro will probably get 3,000 hits despite starting in MLB at 27 years old? Because he runs out everything.

On being a hot dog: "If you weren't on my team, you'd think I'm crazy. You'd think I'm the worst guy of all. Most people do. You play the game so annoying, you play the game so good. We hate you. But I go with you, and you say we love the way you play the game. Do that flare-step style when you hit home runs. But you hated me when I did it against you. No, we want you to do it. Please, Rickey, I'm waiting on that. Rickey, would you please hit one?"

Well, to begin with here, this is so schitzo-nonsensical that it's hard to decipher. But I think he's implying that opponents hate his hot-dogging but his teammates always begged him to do it. I'm calling BS on this one for sure. In fact, I am certain that nobody begged Rickey to act like an a-hole hot dog when he hit home runs. If Rickey can produce one person who can back this up, I will walk to Oakland, buy a Rickey jersey and walk back, all without shoes. Or pants.

As I said, I think this is a terrible idea by the Mets and it feels like we're in a time tunnel and Steve Phillips is still running the team. This will end in disaster.

Stop Hating On Interleague Play

Every year, we're subjected to another round of people bashing on interleague play, one of Bud Selig's few solid ideas since he hijacked the commissioner post from Fay Vincent all those years ago.

It's no different this year, the tenth anniversary of interleague play, as people are now more frequently questioning whether or not it's "fair."
Yeah, there was actually an article in SI this week about the "fairness" of interleague play since a team like the Mets has to play a tough series of interleague games while the Brewers play a group from the AL with slightly lesser records. Well, now, wait a minute. With the imbalanced schedule in place in recent years, haven't the Yankees and Red Sox had a nice advantage in getting to pound on the Devil Rays and Orioles 19 times each per season? Is that not fair? I mean, since, lately, the AL Central has been so good and they only have one team to pound on (the Royals)?

The fact is, interleague play is a good thing for baseball. It gets the fans even more into the game, right as the summer is approaching. And it gets the fans talking about baseball for reasons other than A) steroids, B) what a jerk Barry Bonds is, or C) huge home runs.

This complaint about fairness is a switch from the old Lupica-esque complaint, which was that it matched up teams like the Royals and the Pirates and, whoo, isn't that fun. He would never fail to make this asinine point on The Sports Reporters each year and then laugh uproariously at himself. Yes, yes, we get it Mike, nobody is longing to see the Devil Rays and Nationals face off. But couldn't you also argue that nobody is longing to see the Devil Rays and the Royals face off, either? And they're in the same league, you traditionalist!

Interleague play provides some excitement, whether those who hate it want to admit it or not. Sure, there are a bunch of games with no more excitement than any other regular season game. But then there are matchups like the Mets-Yanks, Cubs-Sox and Dodgers-Angels series where people actually do care, since their next-door neighbor or co-worker could very well be a fan of the other team. And not just a passing fan since they're both considered local teams.

This weekend, co-author Tim and I will be among a group attending the Cleveland-Cinci (Battle of Ohio!) game on Saturday night at Jacobs Field. Stop by Section 103 to say hi if you want. Or, if you're one of our haters... don't.