The Predicto - Penn State

We're going to the land where ranch dressing ice cream is made and what does the BS staff think will happen to our boys?

The Predicto Starts, EVENTUALLY! Or right now.

Joe Knows Social Networking

You can tell the season's on its way... crisp air, intense practices...and articles trying to make Joe Paterno's ludicrously advancing age and obstinate nature charming.

Coach Joe Paterno seems to relish his image as one of his profession's last curmudgeonly throwbacks.

You call him a "curmudgeonly throwback," I call him a "disconnected old man." Affectionately, of course.

No, he tells the media every year, he doesn't even have a cell phone or send and receive e-mail. His most recent rant was directed at Twitter, which he dismisses as "tweedle doo or tweedle dee, tweet and twit."

No cell phone, no email... not even a headset. Far too newfangled.

"Really, he looks at technology the same way I do," Jay Paterno said. "He's just not going to use it himself. He can play dumb like a fox. He says, 'I don't know what Twitter is, I don't know what social-networking is,' but he's very aware of what it does, how it connects and how it can be used to promote our program. He's pushed us all in that direction."

I can just imagine JoePa giving a lecture on the viability of social networking. And then saying, "But I'm going to pretend I don't know what it is. Also, I have to poop."

Joe Paterno, technology savant.

Old People Are Cute

As you've no doubt seen/heard by now, Joe Paterno was his cute little detached self last night during Penn State's NIT game. Highlights included him saying that "Everyone says" basketball is a "black man's game." Who says that, exactly, Joe?

He went on to explain that it used to be a Jewish man's game.

What?

As far as we can tell, this one isn't an April Fool's Day joke. Wouldn't it be funny if the thing that winds up stopping JoePa's coaching career is a truly inappropriate comment? I'm not saying this is it, but it's a little unhinged. And remember how much time college coaches have to spend in press conferences. Could get very interesting.

Oh, also, Penn State beat another Big East powerhouse -- Notre Dame. Man, that Big East is stout.

Love Ya Lions!

Purdue welcomes one of the nation's best this Saturday...and much of the Purdue fanbase is energized by what we saw last week! The Nittany Lions are a good team, but I don't think they're the juggernaut that their creampuff-fueled stats might indicate. PSU fans are confident, if not cocky that the Lions will route the wounded Boilers...What do we think?

J Says:

We've turned the corner, gone off the cliff, the wheels have come off, whatever euphemism you want to use. Maybe the mood isn't as dark in the Purdue locker room, but when homers like me are done with the team, it's pretty much over.

We've watched this program for too damn long to think anything could possibly be different this year. As has been documented, when was the last time Purdue beat a ranked team? Even at home?? PSU is ranked 6 in the country! We're screwed!

As I've said before, the talent disparity isn't what you might think. PSU is good, sure, but they've played nobody until Illinois and they trailed multiple times, including in the second half. So they're not as bulletproof as their fans think they are. But this Purdue team, I'm sorry to say, has no heart. If they did, they'd contend in this game and it would have a chance to be like the Oregon game. But after last week's uninspired performance (esp by the D) I have zero faith.

I was talking to Boilerdowd this week and I said that with the talent level that Purdue has (granted, not upper echelon, but still good), we should be able to scare teams, at the very least. Penn State is unbeated and highly-ranked and has their eyes on the prize. Coming into our house, against a veteran coach, against a senior QB, etc.... this should be SCARY for them. This should be a "watch out for them" game. Sure they should be favored, and they should win... but they should at least be worried about us the way USC used to worry about playing Cal a few years ago.

But here's the sad thing: We're nothing to be worried about. This isn't a trap game for PSU, because even if they don't bring their top effort, how much could they possibly be losing by at halftime? Two touchdowns (generously)? And is there anyone among us who doesn't think we'll give that right back?

Winning this game would go a long way towards restoring some credibility to our season and restoring a modicum of our faith in this season's team. But I don't see it happening. I think we're done. And the death spiral is just beginning.

PSU 48

Purdue 17

Tim Says:

This one is going to be a real stinker. The offense sucks. The defense sucks. The kicker suddenly sucks. The whole sucky team just sucks.

Penn State begins it's Willie Nelson stretch. They're on the road again for 4 out of the next 5 games. The up side? PSU is 9-16 on the road since the start of the 2003 season. The down side? They own Painter and the rest of the Boilers. In three career games against Penn State, all Purdue losses, Painter has not thrown a touchdown pass in 104 attempts.

My prediction?

PSU 38
Purdue 20

boilerdowd says:

There are a lot of numbers we could look at this week...Tiller's 2-9 v. JoePa during his career. Painter has never beaten a ranked team, home or away, as a starter. Purdue's overall defense is 107th, Penn State's offense is 9th. Conversely, Purdue's offense is a less-painful 42nd (passing 21st), but PSU's defense is 14th. And the most painful is the one you'll hear about next week too- Purdue is 0-15 in their last 15 games versus ranked opponents. This doesn't look good on paper...and the gut feeling, for me is no better.

Prior to last week's UND game, I watched MSU play IU...I wasn't impressed with much other than the fact that MSU wears teams out...right before kickoff in South Bend, because of what I knew about UND's previous games, I thought Purdue would win the game. I was way off. The quotes coming out of West Lafayette aren't encouraging either. Players and coaches alike talked about how they simply weren't "up" for the Irish. If you can't be emotionally ready for a rival coached by one of your coach's least favorite people, why would you be ready for a team that is coached by one of your coach's pals and simply owns you? Sure, it's at home, and "Shout" will be getting RA crunk, but that might not even be enough (sarcasm, in case you couldn't detect it).

Last year, Tiller was robbed of his last chance to beat JoePa by officiating...this year, it won't be close enough for it to matter.

The old adage "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" seems poignant here. JoePa doesn't know how to lose big games...JoeT doesn't know how to win them (anymore).

PSU 34
Purdue 17

What You Said:
56% of you homers thought Purdue would win this game coming into the season...0% of the BS staff agrees with you...We'll see what happens Saturday.

Damnit, prove us wrong. We'll all be there this week in 119...Longing to tell a new tale of victory and the heros that made it possible...

To Your Call Once More We Rally;
Alma Mater Hear Our Praise.
Where The Wabash Spreads Its Valley;
Filled With Joy Our Voices Raise.
From The Skies In Swelling Echoes
Come The Cheers That Tell The Tale
Of Your Vict'ries And Your Heros,
Hail Purdue! We Sing All Hail!

Hail, Hail To Old Purdue!
All Hail To Our Old Gold And Black!
Hail, Hail To Old Purdue!
Our Friendship May She Never Lack.
Ever Grateful, Ever True,
Thus We Raise Our Song Anew;
Of The Days We've Spent With You,
All Hail Our Own Purdue!

JoePa Tomfoolery Hits A Nerve

Loyal reader E (full name: Ericallowuous Elbows Edenstein, IV) shot us an email yesterday alerting us to one of ESPN Page 2's digs at Joe Paterno.

It's not particularly clever, simply taking more shots at Paterno, but for a quick read -- and if you, like us, enjoy making fun of detached old coaches who don't know when to step down -- it's got a few chuckles in it.

Well, loyal Penn Staters never find it funny when others bring up JoePa's explosive diarrhea or the fact that he's -- gasp! -- old.

There Is No Name On My Jersey, a fine ole PSU blog, took serious issue with it today. And all I can say is, JB, man, calm down. Deep breathes. Everyone is aware of ESPN's one-trick pony style of writing. But you're going to burst a blood vessel, man.

Also? Joe is old.

Sports Myths Debunked

-Despite the fact that Joseph Vincent Paterno was born in 1926, He is not old!
Please also know that his rants, noises & old guy-isms aren't funny or note-worthy.

-Despite the fact that Charlie Weis had a gastric bypass surgery, his weight is at a healthy level and he is not "fat". Any writings, video evidence or eyewitness accounts to the contrary should not be recorded.

-Despite the fact that Kelvin Sampson was found guilty of breaking NCAA regulations by the NCAA Rules Violation Committee, he has never cheated. Any future article, weblog, TV story or other that uses both Sampson's name and the word "cheat" will be ignored.