Adding Heat to Our White Hot Boiling Hating Hate of The Hawkeyes

I don't know about you, but I'm very afraid. Our Most Hated Rival (or OMHR) is coming into town this weekend and they're bringing their loyal fans.

Well, sort of. I mean, they'll be there. They think. Unless the bus breaks down. Or they can't find a place to park. Oh, and if the game goes into overtime, they might have to jet early.

Seriously, does nobody who went to Iowa own a car? Is it because farm equipment is inconvenient to drive on interstate highways? What if this game, which was only recently slated for 12 noon, had been put into the 3:30 time slot? What would they have done about returning the bus to the depot, dammit??

Based on the post I linked above, which is hilarious in the unintentional way, I see the following as the BHGP schedule for Saturday (best case scenarios on the timing):

11:00 AM -- Bus arrives in West Lafayette.
11:15 AM -- Bus is parked.
11:45 AM -- Tailgate area located.
12:00 PM -- Grills lit, beers opened.
12:08 PM -- First Iowa fan notes that the tailgating areas are emptying fast.
12:10 PM -- Iowa fans begin to realize the time. Shiny object distracts them.
12:25 PM -- Someone broaches the idea of leaving for the game.
12:38 PM -- Someone agrees and the group begins shambling towards Ross-Ade.
12:52 PM -- The group realizes they've walked a mile in the wrong direction.
1:15 PM -- BHGP fan contingent reaches their seats.
3:00 PM -- Game ends, BHGP fan contingent screams a few obscenities (win or lose) and sprints to bus.
3:30 PM -- Bus departs for Chicago.
4:00 PM -- BHGP fan contingent declares trip to Purdue a "wild success" and "the most exciting thing ever."

Bonus points to Travis of H&R for completely hoodwinking unsuspecting Hawkeye fans by leading them to believe they had a primo tailgate spot to overrun only to yank the rug out from under them, Wile E Coyote style. Well done, sir. This is what they get for underestimating you. (I know an apology will be forthcoming to Iowa fans for leading them astray, but for now I shall enjoy.)

Also, hey, look everyone, the coach bus and its crew (I envision the flight attendants from Tony Stark's private jet, don't you?) "cannot stay indefinitely afterward." I mean, they'd like to burn down West Lafayette, beat up all the fraternity boys, make out with all the women and eat all the fried cheese in sight.... but they can't. You understand. Charter companies and all.

Yeeah, brah! Let's tailgate! For ten minutes!

Speaking of charter buses, why the hell do you need a bus to transport your sorry ass from Chicago to West Lafayette? It's 120 miles. On one highway. Are Iowans this easily lost? Get on I-65 South from Chicago. That's all. Of course, this also leads me to ask what Iowans do in Chicago itself -- stand on the sidewalk looking up at the tall buildings? 

Regardless, I like that in the end it sounds like the mighty BHGP tailgating contingent is instead going to be a scattershot effort, strewn across the Purdue campus at various places and times.

Should be intimidating.

Handsome Guest Appearance From Saturday

For those who didn't see or hear him on Saturday, Boilerdowd (with special guest appearance by Lil' Boilerdowd!) appeared on the Purdue Tailgate Show on Saturday. The Purdue Tailgate Show is hosted by Clayton Duffy and Brendan Murphy and airs every home weekend in the parking lot near Jimmy Johns across from Mackey Arena.

You can check out the show by going here. It streams live and can then be viewed later on as well.

If you'd like to jump to the BS goodness of this past Saturday's show, jump to about the hour and thirty (1:30) mark of the below video, after the jump.

Do You Have The Best Boilermaker Tailgate?

Are you a champion tailgater? Are you also a Boilermaker or Boilermaker fan? Do you own...oh, for example, a Purdue-themed ambulance?

If the answers to any of these are yes -- or if you just have to publicize your cornhole expertise -- then check out the Purdue Alumni Association's call for the best Purdue home game tailgaters.

They're apparently looking for the best ones. I'll let them explain:

You will need to tell us how many people attend your tailgate, the history of your gathering, where your tailgate is located, what food and beverages make up your game-day menu, and what makes your tailgate so special. In addition, you can submit pictures of your grand party.

If we are impressed, Purdue Alumni staff and students will visit your shindig and feature it on our Web site. Be prepared for a spirited arrival. Not only will we draw attention to your awesome party, but we will come bearing prizes.

Then, Purdue fans will have the opportunity to vote on the best tailgate of the week. If your tailgate receives the most votes, you will go on to compete for the title of Tailgate of the Season. The winner will be announced during the Michigan State game on the Jumbo Tron.

Where are those guys with the RV? Be sure to tell them you know the Boiled Sports guys and you'll probably win just because of that.*

*Highly unlikely to be accurate

The Boiled Sports Party Bus?

Behold an awesome link to a Craigslist posting selling the pictured Boilermaker party bus.

If you've got $10,000 and are willing to be a donor to Boiled Sports, we'll put your name on the side of the bus and put your info all over our Web site to promote you or your business. Seriously, we would.

Seeing things like this makes me (and likely, my co-editors) think about the parallel universe where we're all bachelors. Understand, this is not to say we'd change our lives -- we love our wives/families -- but for those married guys out there, you know what I'm talking about. Every now and then, maybe when you get a bonus or, say, a 1961 greyhound bus becomes available, you think to yourself, "Self, I wonder if I would just buy this thing if I didn't have the missus looking over the bills...."

That's one of the reasons why we got married, of course, because wives often keep us from being stupid.

Still, that thing is the nuts. From the description:

Yes it even has a POLE. Bose speakers, flat screen stereo, Bathroom, Fridge etc.

There really is nothing like a "flat-screen stereo."

These are the times (even more than usual) where I wish I was independently wealthy. Because this thing would be chugging its way to whatever bowl games the football team makes as well as many road games during the season. I could also see it parked in Indianapolis at the Final Four next year, while all our favorite loyal BS readers come to a velvet rope party inside.

Of course, we'd need a chick to dance around the pole. And I know we have a few female readers.....

(Hat tip to reader Jason who alerted us to this beauty.)