Nothing Like Hard-Nosed Playoff Football in 50-Degree Weather

Who knows what's going to happen in the NFL playoffs, which begin this weekend? Nobody, that's who. But it doesn't stop everyone and their brother from making "predictions." Nobody knew who the hell would make the playoffs to begin with but now we all think we can tell you what's going to happen.

Well, we don't really think we know anything but we're going to do it anyway. Our picks come at the end of the post. But let's talk about the QBs we get to see lead their teams this weekend.

Let's start with Peyton Manning, he of the much-maligned Colts. Sure, Peyton has a reputation for never being able to win the big one. However, he's still a likable guy and darn it if he isn't funny in those commercials!

Nevertheless, the questions now are whether his window has closed. I don't think it has and I think he's the kind of guy who will win one when nobody thinks he has a chance. This year? I doubt it. But there shouldn't be any problem getting past the Chiefs, since Herman Edwards is at the helm and, hey, this is Super Peyton we're talking about.

We all seem to agree that the Colts should prevail in their first playoff game, which would be one more than they won last season, despite the fact that it looks like Peyton is thinking of wearing a suit to the game. Silly, Peyton, just silly.

Peyton will be playing against Trent Green and the aforementioned Herm-led Chiefs of Kansas City. It took me a while to even remember who the Chiefs QB was since Larry Johnson is really the engine that makes the KC crew go. Of course, he's carried the ball roughly 487,550 times this season so he might be a tad worn down. To the left, by the way, is Trent re-enacting his preseason knee injury in '99 that paved the way for Kurt Warner to become the legend and future Hall of Famer that he is. Hello? Kurt?

Up in Seattle, Matt Hasselbeck will be in front of his home crowd and have Shaun Alexander to hand the ball off to. Sure, Matt has a milk mustache in this picture and has a cue-ball looking head, but he did make it all the way to the Super Bowl last year while playing in a city that never seems to win anything and wearing some of the ugliest uniforms ever seen.

I don't have much else to say about Hasselbeck since I practically never see him play. Of course, when my Giants played the 'Hawks early in the season, it was a rout in favor of Seattle. And last year, Jay Feely handed the Seahawks a win up there. And then they played a competitive Super Bowl. Yet I can't remember Hasselbeck doing anything noteworthy. Is that good or bad?

Sauntering in to face Mr. Hasselbeck will be the Cowboys, let by *cough cough* Pro-Bowler Tony Romo, he of the eight pro starts.

It seems like everyone thinks Mr. Romo's going to lead his dysfunctional Cowboys to glory, maybe because they all think Parcells is some kind of genius.

He's really, not, though.

However, if Tony carries this metallic head out there with him, who knows what might happen. (It's like a doll -- he carries it everywhere.)


On Sunday, Eli Manning will be facing the Eagles team he's already faced twice this season. As you can see from this photo, Eli is the only one who showed up for the Boiled Sports photo shoot and insisted on taking off his shirt. He's so vain.

But after looking at his sculpted body, how could you every doubt him?

Seriously, though, look at this dude -- how has he not been broken in half yet?

Nobody seems to think the Giants even deserve to be in the playoffs but, hey, all those of you who think parity is so great -- here's what you get. A crappy, 8-8 team, that actually could make a run.

Sure, Philly's on a tear right now but they're relying on...Jeff Garcia to lead them to the promised land.

And speaking of Mr. Garcia... he's just damn happy to have a job again. And, really, it's a good thing he's playing well because those fans in Philly might literally perform a hate-crime on him if he wasn't any good.

Philly went from "season over" to division winners in a matter of weeks. How long can Garcia keep them hot? Could be another month, could be not another week. You never can tell with the NFC.

One thing we can tell, though -- Jeff Garcia is a handsome man and a snappy dresser.

For the J-E-T-S, JetsJetsJets, it's Chad Pennington back at the helm. Everyone in New York keeps waiting for Chad's arm to come off but it hasn't yet and the Jets cobbled together a 10-6 season after I said they wouldn't win four games all year. As with all things in life, you should never listen to me.

Chad's so fearless, he even came to our photo shoot wearing parachute pants. Who among you would have had the cojones to do that?

Do the Jets really have a chance against the big, bad Patriots in Foxboro? Well, I am inclined to say no because I don't think the Jets are contractually allowed to come up big in big spots anymore. I think Joe Namath's deal with Satan forbids it.

And this brings us to Tom Brady. He's just handsome, folks. And we all know that handsome beats not handsome every time. Except when you're trying to bang Britney.

Poor Tom Brady, though. With no decent receivers to throw to this season, he had to pick up a side job as a fashion model. Tsk, tsk.

An important point to think about -- Brady and his gal Bridget Moynahan broke up recently so will he be A) focused on the playoffs with no chick to distract him or B) unfocused because he can now chase all the scattered tail around New England? Hard to say.

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So what do we all think? Well, I think it'll be fun to see how we all do against one another picking the playoff games. We're picking them straight up, not against the points or anything like that. Each week, we'll post what we think will happen and what everybody's records are, just like a lame-ass studio show or someone who calls themself "The Schwami" would do.

Tim:
Colts over Chiefs
Cowboys over Seahawks
Patriots over Jets
Eagles over Giants

Tim's Comment: I hate the NFL is the big winner this week though.

boilerdowd:
Colts over Chiefs
Seahawks over Cowboys
Patriots over Jets
Eagles over Giants

boilerdowd's Comment: The Colts are better than the Chiefs, the Cowboys and Giants backed their way into the playoffs and the Pats are just better than the Jets...I'm sure I'll be wrong on at least half of these.

J Money:
Colts over Chiefs
Seahawks over Cowboys
Patriots over Jets
Giants over Eagles

J Money's Comment: Herm Edwards in a playoff game? Ha! Tony Romo making his first playoff start up in noisy Seattle? Ha! The Jets ever doing something I predict correctly? Ha! The Eagles winning with Jeff Garcia? Ha!