Football Jambalaya -- Undeserving Edition

Okay, so last week I picked the wrong upset -- I should have taken Arizona and not San Diego. But seriously, did you know anyone who honestly thought the Cardinals were going to win outright? I definitely had a weird feeling going in because we had all written that game off to the Panthers but I never completely loved the Panthers offense. And I saw them have a lead on the Giants and fail to close the G-men out. So I should have known better. I will say this -- when it got to 20-7, I truly knew it was over. One thing I never thought the Panthers could do was come back from a big hole when they'd need to be airing it out. I like Jake Delhomme a lot but he's just not that kind of quarterback. And he proved it. Of course, who expected them to be behind by that much?

As for San Diego, what can I say? I'm just an idiot. I really thought Ben Roethlisberger would play poorly after such a serious whack to the head in his previous game. But he almost played better, didn't he? And the Steelers defense is impressive. And San Diego, in the end, was a .500 team that was only .500 at the end of the season because they got hot. So I shoulda known. Again.

And as for the Giants, I don't even want to talk about it. It hurt enough to lose to the Eagles, but to then realize that all that stood between them and another Super Bowl appearance was a home game against the 6-seed Iggles and a home game against the 9-7, 4-seed Cardinals, well, that sucks. And interestingly, all four teams left are teams the Giants beat this season. How's that for an extra kick in the beans

Whatever, let's get on with it.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Arizona Cardinals -- Okay, it's not that they're "undeserving." They did what they needed to do to get here. But seriously, the Cardinals and the Eagles? Two 9-win teams? Whatever, they're here and that's all that matters to them and their fans. And it's all that should matter. So who wins? Well, I think both games this weekend are harder than usual to pick. Normally there's a clear favorite at this time of year, but without knowing the lines, I couldn't tell you who should be favored.

Both are obviously playing well. The Cardinals have looked more than lucky so far, too, having run up points on both their opponents -- both of whom were thought to have pretty good defenses, too. On the other hand, the Eagles honestly should have lost to Minnesota. If Westbrook doesn't break that one 71-yard screen or if Minnesota has a professional quarterback, I think that games goes the other way. And then they looked just as lifeless as the Giants until they suddenly were able to move the ball in the second half. And Samuel's pick certainly got them going in the right direction in both games. So I guess what I'm saying is the Eagles have won with some fortuitous bounces and opponents who weren't playing up to their capabilities, while the Cardinals have won because they've been clicking.

However, I just cannot imagine the Eagles letting Larry Fitzgerald dominate like Carolina did, although I know the Eagles are a blitzing team so maybe covering Fitz isn't a strength. And speaking of blitzing, I don't have a good feeling about Kurt Warner handling pressure. However, a friend of mine pointed out Warner's stats against the blitz, and they're amazing. My only thought on that is that having either Fitzgerald or Boldin as your hot route means you have two monsters able to reel in your panic-induced lasers as a blitz bears down on old Kurt.

What does all this mean? Well, I can see the Eagles winning just because as unimpressive as they've been to me, they just keep finding a way. And I can see Arizona winning because, well, they've been convincing. And they're even better at home. If they get a quick start again, it could be trouble for the Iggles.

Oh, a couple other thoughts on the Eagles... do you realize McNabb is only 32? Five NFC title games and he's just 32. And the a-hole fans in Philly were ready to run him out of there a month or so ago. Same with Andy Reid. I know the guy mismanages the clock sometimes, but this guy is a consistently good coach. And even though I know they haven't won a Super Bowl, we all know that once you're in the playoffs it's kind of a crapshoot. Getting there time after time is very impressive. And yes, it's difficult for me to compliment/defend a Philly sports team.

This truly could go either way and so I'm just going to go with the team that I think it playing better right now.

Cardinals 27, Eagles 20

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers -- One team I keep getting right is the Ravens. I, like everyone, knew they'd dismantle Noodlearm Pennington and the Dolphins in round one and I also felt confident they could beat the Kerry Collins-led Titans in round two. However, let's all cool it on anointing Joe Flacco the next fricking Joe Montana. He was 9/23 against the Fins and while he was slightly better against Tennessee, the Ravens barely let him throw the ball in the first half (I think he was 3 of 8 at halftime). That can only be done for so long. And yes, I know the Ravens defense has won them those two games, but if Tennessee doesn't turn the ball over so much last weekend, it's a different story. Maybe Flacco wins the game with his arm, but we'll never know because Alge Crumpler and Lendale White fell down and went boom.

And as for the Steelers, well, as I admitted above, they're better than I thought. I was never impressed during the year with them, seeing them lose some critical games and then only winning others (i.e., Dallas) when the other team made a critical error. And the other thing that worries me a bit if I'm a Pitts fan is that they've already beaten the Ravens twice this year. Beating a team three times is very unusual, but I do think that stat is a little overrated. Because it's a long season and they no longer need to beat the Ravens three times -- they need to beat them once. At home.

Are the defenses even? They're close, I'll tell you that. I'd still give the edge to the Ravens and that is significant because as good as Roethlisberger played last week, the Chargers are no where near the Ravens defensively. Could I see Big Ben getting blasted by Lewis or Suggs and giving way to Byron Leftwich? I sure could. And could I see Ed Reed picking apart the Steelers passing game? Yes, again.

But if the Steelers can get some points on the board, I'm just not yet convinced the Ravens can match them. Flacco does have a great arm and I admit plays very well for a rookie. But we haven't seen him win the game for his team yet. If he were playing the Chargers, I'd give it more thought. But against that Steelers D, I just don't know.

Again, I can truly see either team winning and, again, I don't think that's usually the case in the title games. Usually there's a clear favorite. But I guess (hope) that just means we'll have some good games this weekend.

Steelers 16, Ravens 13

Last Week: 1-3

Overall: 3-5

Friday Football Jambalaya

As you've no doubt heard by now, Peyton Manning is the 2008 NFL MVP. And that's a good thing, because Manning is a very good QB and at least now we don't have to constantly hear about how Brett Favre is the only three-time winner of the award.

It's the first playoff weekend for the NFL and for hard-core NFL fans this is a mixed emotions weekend. Sure, it's great to have playoff games on both days, but it sucks to know that there's no regular 1 PM and 4 PM games anymore and that we're just 11 games away from the 2008 season being gone.

Before I get into this weekend's games, let's take a quick look at some guys whose 2008 season already is over.

Hey, TO! "Get your popcorn ready!" Indeed, you insufferable jackass. Get some popcorn and sit your overrated, loser ass on the couch and watch the playoffs. And the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl that the clueless media decided was the Cowboys for the taking at the start of the year, despite the fact that this is the same team that melted down at home against the Giants last year in the playoffs and is led by a bunch of losers who have never won anything. Yes, I'm looking at you, TO, Romo and fatboy Wade Phillips. Why people believed these guys would do anything but disappoint is beyond me. And yet they still had the change to eek in at 10-6 by simply beating Philly, and they didn't just lose... they lost in epic fashion. If I were a Cowboys fan, I'd be miserable for the entire offseason after seeing things end like that. And to recap -- their December consisted of gut-wrenching/embarrassing losses to Pittsburgh, Baltimore (at home) and Philly, and a squeaked out win over a depleted Giants team. Nice finish, you losers.

(Okay, I'm done with them now.)

Oh, but I have plenty of venom left for this idiot. I'm certainly no Jets fan, but I have a buddies who are and I truly feel bad for them. Chad Pennington brought the Fins into Giants Stadium and ended the Jets season. That could not have been more poetic, nor more painful for Jetties fans. And to see Brett throw three backbreaking picks -- I mean, has anything been more predictable? I still don't get all these Favre apologists. He lost the NFC title game last year with a horrible pick against the Giants and he led the league in picks again this year, culminating with that horrendous showing against the Dolphins. I'm so sick of hearing about his "enthusiasm." He sucks, and he has sucked for several years. Yes, he's thrown more TDs than anyone ever. He's also thrown more picks than anyone. Ever. Doesn't that take some luster off of it? Do you know who has the most wins in NBA coaching history? Lenny Wilkins. Doesn't seem right, does it? Do you know why? Because he also has the most losses ever. You hang around long enough, you'll get some records simply by attrition. And now we get to deal with Brett Favre holding another organization hostage until next August when he decides he'll grace us all with another year of interceptions and near-misses. Great. Just be glad it's not your favorite team.

Okay, I'm done serving haterade and will now talk about the games briefly.

Atlanta Falcons @ Arizona Cardinals -- The Falcons are favored by 1.5 points, on the road, with a rookie quarterback. Wow. And the conventional wisdom out there is that home-field is worth about 3 points, so does this mean the Falcons are 4.5 points better than the Cards? No, it doesn't. Point spreads aren't about that, you fools. Point spreads have one, solitary goal -- to get an equal amount of betting on both sides. They have nothing to do with who is a better team and especially not how much better that team is.

I keep seeing people pick the Cardinals in this game and I can't figure out why. Because they'll be at home? Okay, sure, they're good at home, but mainly against the putrid division they play in. And Kurt Warner, mentioned as a possible MVP just a few weeks ago, seems to have turned back into the grizzled old dude that he really is. I like him, but I think his 2008 magic dust ran out about a month ago. The Cardinals look weak and the Falcons are better than people think. I saw them in person this year and Matt Ryan is pretty incredible. The guy sees plays develop better than I think most rookies do and Roddy White is an animal. I think the Falcons win this game without a lot of trouble.

Falcons 24, Cardinals 14

Indianapolis Colts @ San Diego Chargers -- Another road favorite, Indy has won 9 straight and Peyton is playing like a true veteran leader. The Chargers are definitely hot, having gone from 4-8 to 8-8 to make the playoffs and their 52 point performance against Denver has an Indy fan buddy of mine worried. But I don't think the worry is necessary. The Chargers thumped a Broncos team that mailed it in the last month and the Chargers were simply amped to win the division after truly being left for dead. I know they played the Colts well last January and beat them, but I just can't imagine that happening again. Tomlinson tweaked his groin and I think that's going to be a big deal. If he's 100% and Rivers isn't hobbling around like last year, then maybe the Chargers pull it off. And it being in San Diego is definitely nice for them. ("Take a hike." "You know what? I'm gonna do that. This weather is SWEET.")

I know the Chargers are playing well and they've had the Colts' number lately, but they still have Norv Turner, too.

Colts 31, Chargers, 27

Baltimore Ravens @ Miami Dolphins -- As awesome as it is that Chad Pennington took the Dolphins to the playoffs by beating the Jets after being cast off by the Jets like a used kicking tee, he's still the guy I used to make fun of as "Old Noodlearm" when I wanted to wrankle Jets fans. And as much as it's awesome that the Pats missed the playoffs, it kind of was screwy and I honestly think the Pats could have made some noise, while I think the Dolphins really have zero shot of going anywhere. I mean, think about it -- can you even fathom the Fins making the Super Bowl? And here they are a division champ, hosting a game. I mean, good for them... don't get me wrong, I think it's great for them and their fans (and for Jason Taylor, that jackhole who wound up in Washington on another loser team -- ha!). But I just really think they have no chance. Of course, nobody ever thinks Old Noodlearm has a chance and he seems to thrive on that. The Ravens are also a road favorite here -- the road team is the favorite in all four games this weekend, which has to be some kind of a record. And once again, I am going with the road team, which means I'll almost certainly get most of these picks wrong.

Ravens 21, Dolphins 13

Philadelphia Eagles @ Minnesota Vikings -- This is one of those early playoff games where deep inside you just know neither team has a shot at the Super Bowl. Somebody's going to win and move on to within two wins of getting there, but I think that's where the fun will end. The Eagles, while a balances team, are just way too inconsistent. And the Vikings, well, they're starting Tavaris Jackson at quarterback. You allow that Adrian Peterson is going to get his 150 yards and you hope to shut down everything else, which is possible. Or you stack against Peterson and make Jackson beat you with his arm.

He will not.

Eagles 31, Vikings 17

Feel free to come back Monday to point and laugh.

Showing Our Ass On NFL Picks

Okay, so I admit, I just wanted a reason to post this picture of Antonio Bryant's ass which for some reason just cracks me up. Probably for the same reason that farts still make me laugh. And that reason is I am male and proportionately mature.

Anyway, since there's no football this weekend for the first time since, like, last July, it's a good time to check in on our playoff picking.

As you may or may not recall, both Tim and I picked the Saints and Patriots to be in the Super Bowl this week. One of the reasons I picked the Saints is that back in August I was in Vegas and bet on the Saints to go to the Super Bowl at 35-1 odds. I was feeling pretty smart until their secondary forgot their were supposed to tackle guys. However, I still think if that game was in the Superdome the Saints win. Sometimes home field does make a huge difference, especially when you're playing against a team with runners who cut a lot and it's snowing and freezing.

Anyway, so Tim and I both went 0-2 to bring our playoff picks records to 5-5. Boilerdowd, on the other hand, went 1-1 in title games to move to 7-3 for the playoffs. As such, it looks like it'd be hard for him to lose our Boiled Sports battle here and he will officially win a night with... his own wife. Sure, it would have made for some drama if me or Tim had won it, so it's probably good that it turned out this way.

We'll be back later in the week with our official Super Bowl picks (probably). And maybe some other stuff. We'll see.

Here We Go....AGAIN

Hey, did you know that these two clowns have played each other a number of times before? Did you also know that Tom Brady is a mythical figure who had god-like powers, especially in the playoffs? Did you also know that Peyton Manning's career sucks solely because his team has never been able to play a big playoff game without their own hands around their necks? Did you know they played earlier this season and Peyton won -- in Foxboro?!! I know! But did you also know that maybe Bill Belichick, who's even more godlike than Tom Terrific -- sheet, he's like a hoodie-wearing god of thunder and lightning -- could have, maybe, possibly, been sandbagging? You know, like he figured, "Hey, we might see these guys again if everything works out and I'm willing to sandbag a nationally televised home game and risk home-field advantage just so I can have the upper hand on this Manning character and de-pants him in his home stadium in January. You know, if we happen to meet."

Yeah, get ready for more stories you've already heard and more interviews about stories that even real fans of these teams are sick of. Frankly, I'd rather hear stories about Adam Vinatieri going against the team he won all those Super Bowls for.

The other game of the week will also feature lazy storylines, as the New Orleans Saints football team success continues to cause hosues to rebuild themselves and poor people living in shelters to not feel as hungry or alone. It's really amazing what football can do. And as much as I want to (and will) be rooting for N.O. next weekend, I hate their own Tom Benson, a fat, ignorant man who wanted to never come back to the Big Easy and wanted to permanently relocate to San Antonio. Or Los Angeles. Or Lafayette, Indiana. Anywhere but New Orleans. Classy.

And on the other side of the ball from them, we'll get to hear more about Rex Grossman and what a liability he is, despite the fact that he could have been a lot worse than he was on Sunday.

Speaking of liabilities, let's look at our records...

Tim: 2-2 (5-3 overall)

boilerdowd: 2-2 (6-2 overall)

J Money: 2-2 (5-3 overall)

Remember, the winner gets a night with boilerdowd's wife. We really should have opened this up to readers, too.

"PLAYOFFS? Don't Talk About..PLAYOFFS?"

And now that wonderful Jim Mora moment will live on with a whole new group of fans as Coors Light made use of it and made it perhaps the best version of those press conference commercials. (I especially love how at the end the guy's like, "okay, forget I brought it up.")

Anyway, we’re back for Week 2 of the NFL Playoffs, with the mediocre, drama-filled teams got bounced out last week. And appropriately so; nobody wants to see the Giants lose 41-0 at Chicago while Eli throws four picks and looks cold the whole day.

As for our picks? Well, we did well.

Tim: 3-1

Boilerdowd: 4-0

J Money: 3-1

Well, now things get interesting. There are only eight teams left and, truthfully, they’re all pretty good (well, except for the Seahawks). Last week we looked at the quarterbacks for each team so this week we’ll look at the coaches and try to figure them out.

We start with the Eagles at the Saints. Philly coach Andy Reid is a jolly-looking fellow and he falls into the “Fat Coaches” category. He looks perfectly at home in a group that would include Bill Parcells, Charlie Weis, Art Shell… you know, guys like that. However, fat coaches haven’t seemed to be that successful recently, as guys like Jon Gruden, Brian Billick, Bill Belichick and Bill Cowher have been winning Super Bowls. So I think I have to personally go against Andy Reid as a likely successful coach. What’s he saying in this picture? Well, I’m not sure. Most likely, “Bring me another connoli!”


Moving on to the Saints, they’re coached by first-year head man Sean Payton. Now, Payton was a member of Bill Parcells’ staff last year but what people forget was that the year the Giants went to the Super Bowl, Payton was relieved of his play-calling duties as offensive coordinator by Jim Fassel with about 5 or 6 games to go in the season. Not the best thing to have happen to the career of a young O-coordinator. Nevertheless, Payton appears to be saying, “Follow me, men, and I’ll lead you into the playoffs! Oh, and does anyone have any suggestions on what we run this weekend?”

The other NFC game is the Seahawks at the Bears. Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren is not exactly what you’d call a “Fat Coach,” but he’s not slim, either. In this picture, he’s shown demonstrating his mind powers that he used to make the ball slip out of Tony Romo’s hands last week. Yeah, I think he’s lost it, too. Plus he’s taking his underachieving team into Chicago. It’s hard to picture the Seahawks in the NFC title game but that’s what will happen if the Rex Grossman from about half the season shows up and throws some ugly interceptions.

And speaking of those Bears, they’ve been led very well by Coach Lovie Smith in recent years. Lovie has done a great job playing to his team’s strengths over the past two seasons. Last year, they had then-rookie Kyle Orton as their starter and this year they have inconsistent Rex. So they play up their D and try not to let the offense kill them. It’s worked very well and there’s no reason to think it won’t work again in this round of the playoffs. In his photo, Lovie appears to be on the same page with us as he shouts, “No, Rex, under no circumstances are you allowed to audible to a passing play! Nooooooooo!”

On to the AFC, where the first game we’ll discuss in the Colts at the Ravens. Colts coach Tony Dungy is a calm, effective guy but he catches a lot of flak for not winning in the playoffs. Whether you like the Colts or not, I think a lot of people will have a hard time being upset if Dungy and Peyton win it all together one day. Interestingly, in this picture, Tony appears to have a device set up where he can take play calls from “Little Tony.” I’m willing to bet it’s a draw, up the middle.

Facing Dungy will be Super Bowl-winner and all-around arrogant jackass Brian Billick. At times, especially after their Super Bowl win, Billick seemed to act as though he believed he invented the game. The truth is, his teams have always been a lot like the Bears, with an amazing defense and a suspect offense. Everyone keeps saying that this is the Ravens year because they have Steve McNair, who is far from risky. In reality, I’m not sure how much better McNair is since he can’t throw downfield very well anymore and he’s only got like one leg. Right? In his photo here, I guess Brian is angry. Either that or he’s at a rock concert.

And now we move on to the best game (at least on paper) of the weekend, Pats at Chargers. On the one side is Bill Belichick, who says little but whose picture simply says, “Check this out, bitches.” Belichick has the clear advantage as far as confidence from the players and fans, while his opponent… well, not so much. People love to talk about how amazing Belichick and Brady are and how unbeatable they are. This was the same topic in past years and in some of those years the Pats were unbeatable and then last year…they were very beatable. In fact, the amazing magical un-rattle-able quarterback Tom Brady threw a critical interception to Champ Bailey that basically allowed the Broncos – quarterbacked by Jake Plummer, I might add – to knock the vaunted Pats out of the playoffs. Sure, Belichick and Brady have had success but if you think that’s going to win them this game by itself, you’re crazy.


Almost as crazy as Marty Shottenheimer, who is either going insane or working on his faces to make at officials and opposing running backs. Marty has determined if he can make Laurence Maroney laugh really hard during a play, Laurence might just be easier to tackle. We’ll see how well this works, though. My advice would be to give the ball to LaDanian Tomlinson…a lot.

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So the picks this week from us. As I said, we went a collective 10-2 last weekend and we’re feeling smart right about now which is why the wheels will come off at this point. Here we go.

Tim:

Eagles over Saints
Bears over Seahawks
Colts over Ravens
Chargers over Patriots

Boilerdowd:

Saints over Eagles
Seahawks over Bears
Ravens over Colts
Patriots over Chargers

(Or, if you’re scoring at home, the complete, 100% opposite of Tim’s picks.)

J Money:

Saints over Eagles
Bears over Seahawks
Ravens over Colts
Chargers over Patriots

I don’t feel at all confident about the Chargers pick but I am hoping for a Chargers-Saints Super Bowl so I’ll roll the dice.

I Blew It For The Giants

Let me explain.

Because I dislike the Cowboys so much and enjoy seeing Bill Parcells mad (and apparently, deaf -- did anyone else see his press conference?), I used all my hex mojo up on Saturday night. I was truly sad when the refs said Witten had the first down at the one-yard-line when I thought there was no way he got there. I also didn't realize that spots could be reviewed, but I was thrilled when it turned out to be fourth down for the Cowgirls.

But then they lined up for an easy field goal to win the game, and so I hoped they'd screw it up or get blocked. And they did screw it up. Or, more accurately, prematurely annointed football god Tony Romo screwed it up. ("Hey, come on, guys! The ball is slippery!")

So when the Giants and Eagles came down to a last-second field goal, I must have not had any mojo left to put the hex on the Eagles. Interestingly, the Eagles winning field goal was a non-gimme (37 yards) and it was raining. And presumably they, too, used to "K" balls that are suddenly a topic of discussion. Yet Koy Detmer (who knew he was still in the league?) held perfectly and David Akers ended the Giants stellar 8-9 season. Oh well.

In Boiled Sports news, however, we actually did okay with our picks. Tim and I both went 3-1 and boilerdowd cleaned up at 4-0. Nicely done, gents.

Since we did a QB photo-compare last week, I'm thinking later this week we'll do a coaches comparison. Then maybe the week after we'll look at mascots or logos or something. By the Super Bowl we'll be evaluating the teams' choice of jockstraps. Good times ahead.

Nothing Like Hard-Nosed Playoff Football in 50-Degree Weather

Who knows what's going to happen in the NFL playoffs, which begin this weekend? Nobody, that's who. But it doesn't stop everyone and their brother from making "predictions." Nobody knew who the hell would make the playoffs to begin with but now we all think we can tell you what's going to happen.

Well, we don't really think we know anything but we're going to do it anyway. Our picks come at the end of the post. But let's talk about the QBs we get to see lead their teams this weekend.

Let's start with Peyton Manning, he of the much-maligned Colts. Sure, Peyton has a reputation for never being able to win the big one. However, he's still a likable guy and darn it if he isn't funny in those commercials!

Nevertheless, the questions now are whether his window has closed. I don't think it has and I think he's the kind of guy who will win one when nobody thinks he has a chance. This year? I doubt it. But there shouldn't be any problem getting past the Chiefs, since Herman Edwards is at the helm and, hey, this is Super Peyton we're talking about.

We all seem to agree that the Colts should prevail in their first playoff game, which would be one more than they won last season, despite the fact that it looks like Peyton is thinking of wearing a suit to the game. Silly, Peyton, just silly.

Peyton will be playing against Trent Green and the aforementioned Herm-led Chiefs of Kansas City. It took me a while to even remember who the Chiefs QB was since Larry Johnson is really the engine that makes the KC crew go. Of course, he's carried the ball roughly 487,550 times this season so he might be a tad worn down. To the left, by the way, is Trent re-enacting his preseason knee injury in '99 that paved the way for Kurt Warner to become the legend and future Hall of Famer that he is. Hello? Kurt?

Up in Seattle, Matt Hasselbeck will be in front of his home crowd and have Shaun Alexander to hand the ball off to. Sure, Matt has a milk mustache in this picture and has a cue-ball looking head, but he did make it all the way to the Super Bowl last year while playing in a city that never seems to win anything and wearing some of the ugliest uniforms ever seen.

I don't have much else to say about Hasselbeck since I practically never see him play. Of course, when my Giants played the 'Hawks early in the season, it was a rout in favor of Seattle. And last year, Jay Feely handed the Seahawks a win up there. And then they played a competitive Super Bowl. Yet I can't remember Hasselbeck doing anything noteworthy. Is that good or bad?

Sauntering in to face Mr. Hasselbeck will be the Cowboys, let by *cough cough* Pro-Bowler Tony Romo, he of the eight pro starts.

It seems like everyone thinks Mr. Romo's going to lead his dysfunctional Cowboys to glory, maybe because they all think Parcells is some kind of genius.

He's really, not, though.

However, if Tony carries this metallic head out there with him, who knows what might happen. (It's like a doll -- he carries it everywhere.)


On Sunday, Eli Manning will be facing the Eagles team he's already faced twice this season. As you can see from this photo, Eli is the only one who showed up for the Boiled Sports photo shoot and insisted on taking off his shirt. He's so vain.

But after looking at his sculpted body, how could you every doubt him?

Seriously, though, look at this dude -- how has he not been broken in half yet?

Nobody seems to think the Giants even deserve to be in the playoffs but, hey, all those of you who think parity is so great -- here's what you get. A crappy, 8-8 team, that actually could make a run.

Sure, Philly's on a tear right now but they're relying on...Jeff Garcia to lead them to the promised land.

And speaking of Mr. Garcia... he's just damn happy to have a job again. And, really, it's a good thing he's playing well because those fans in Philly might literally perform a hate-crime on him if he wasn't any good.

Philly went from "season over" to division winners in a matter of weeks. How long can Garcia keep them hot? Could be another month, could be not another week. You never can tell with the NFC.

One thing we can tell, though -- Jeff Garcia is a handsome man and a snappy dresser.

For the J-E-T-S, JetsJetsJets, it's Chad Pennington back at the helm. Everyone in New York keeps waiting for Chad's arm to come off but it hasn't yet and the Jets cobbled together a 10-6 season after I said they wouldn't win four games all year. As with all things in life, you should never listen to me.

Chad's so fearless, he even came to our photo shoot wearing parachute pants. Who among you would have had the cojones to do that?

Do the Jets really have a chance against the big, bad Patriots in Foxboro? Well, I am inclined to say no because I don't think the Jets are contractually allowed to come up big in big spots anymore. I think Joe Namath's deal with Satan forbids it.

And this brings us to Tom Brady. He's just handsome, folks. And we all know that handsome beats not handsome every time. Except when you're trying to bang Britney.

Poor Tom Brady, though. With no decent receivers to throw to this season, he had to pick up a side job as a fashion model. Tsk, tsk.

An important point to think about -- Brady and his gal Bridget Moynahan broke up recently so will he be A) focused on the playoffs with no chick to distract him or B) unfocused because he can now chase all the scattered tail around New England? Hard to say.

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So what do we all think? Well, I think it'll be fun to see how we all do against one another picking the playoff games. We're picking them straight up, not against the points or anything like that. Each week, we'll post what we think will happen and what everybody's records are, just like a lame-ass studio show or someone who calls themself "The Schwami" would do.

Tim:
Colts over Chiefs
Cowboys over Seahawks
Patriots over Jets
Eagles over Giants

Tim's Comment: I hate the NFL is the big winner this week though.

boilerdowd:
Colts over Chiefs
Seahawks over Cowboys
Patriots over Jets
Eagles over Giants

boilerdowd's Comment: The Colts are better than the Chiefs, the Cowboys and Giants backed their way into the playoffs and the Pats are just better than the Jets...I'm sure I'll be wrong on at least half of these.

J Money:
Colts over Chiefs
Seahawks over Cowboys
Patriots over Jets
Giants over Eagles

J Money's Comment: Herm Edwards in a playoff game? Ha! Tony Romo making his first playoff start up in noisy Seattle? Ha! The Jets ever doing something I predict correctly? Ha! The Eagles winning with Jeff Garcia? Ha!