Football Jambalaya -- Super Edition

For some reason, when I saw the above this morning on the Today show (which is clearly out of interesting news now that they're done promoting Obama), I was amused. Here they are, at the Super Bowl, and which NFL team's flag is visible in the background? That's right, the Oakland Raiders.

So here we are, the last football weekend of the season. And, really, if you're a big time football fan, it kind of ended two weeks ago because that was the last sort of normal Sunday of football to watch. This weekend is just a hype-machine of nonsense, get-togethers where half the people just want to watch commercials, etc.


Oh, and before I forget, we had a request to show pictures of Erin Andrews more here, and specifically as a SBF contestant. Problem is, EA doesn't get photographed with her funbags showing very often. I've shared this pic before and bee questioned as to whether it's actually her, but I believe it is, from quite a few years ago. Yum

Anyway, back to the Super Bowl.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs Arizona Cardinals -- What we have here is kind of a classic in terms of two strengths meeting each other, which is what makes it a hard game to predict. The Cards, as we know, have a prolific offense and now that the whole country has gotten to see Larry Fitzgerald a few weeks in a row, they're all ready to label him the next Jerry Rice. He might turn out to be that, but hey, let's cool it a bit.

You've also got Kurt Warner in his resurgence year, bringing the Cardinals somewhere that nobody thought they could go. In fact, a little aside here.... back when Chris "Mad Dog" Russo left WFAN in New York to get his own radio show on satellite radio, I kept hearing clips promoting his show early in the season. And any clip of Chris Russo -- as anyone knows who has heard him -- invariably features him scaaaa-reeee-ming about something that, really, kind of isn't worth screaming about. Well, the clip I remember repeatedly hearing was him railing against the Cardinals decision to play Warner, saying, "You're not winning a Super Bowl with Kurt Warner. He's FORTY YEARS OLD!!!" And I cannot stress enough how he screamed that last part. And yes, it bothered me greatly that Chris Russo -- a supposedly respected and sought-after radio sports guy -- didn't know that Kurt Warner was actually only 37. Anyway, Chris Russo -- you're an idiot.

So you've got Warner and Fitzgerald and and angry Anquan Boldin (seriously, dude, stop acting like a prima donna for one game and just play ball)... and a coach (The Whizz!) who used to be the O-coordinator for the Steelers. In fact, he was the O-coordinator when the Steelers beat the Seahawks a few years ago. So there is some thought out there that Coach Whizz will know how to beat Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers. But the offense in that Super Bowl was atrocious, especially Roethlisberger. So who knows?

On the other side, you have the Steelers punishing defense and decent offense. So a great offense that's truly in sync so far in the playoffs against a defense that has been shutting down teams and hitting guys so hard they have to be taken off on a stretcher.

Can this offense spread out the Steelers? One could argue that, given that the Steelers haven't had to really play a good team yet. They had to beat the Chargers, who won their Super Bowl when they got into the playoffs AND then took down Indy. But in the end, as we've discussed, San Diego was 8-8 for a reason. And then the Steelers took down the 5-seeded Ravens, who were good, yes, but who still had that rookie QB who finally shed his undeserved moniker of "Joe Cool" and threw three picks and was largely ineffective against the Steelers.

But Kurt Warner's not Joe Flacco. He's been here before, literally. He has won and lost a Super Bowl. And he's playing some of the best football of his career. The knock on Warner has been that if you can truly pressure him, you'll rattle him. But he's been terrific against the blitz this year, thanks largely to his fantastic receivers. The better they do, the more confidence Kurt gains, and so forth.

When Philly put on the pressure and began hitting the Cards, the game almost slipped away.

But then it didn't, and they came back and won. The Cardinals have done everything in this postseason that a championship team has to do. They've won on the road. They've won as underdogs. They've won at home. They've recovered from blowing a lead. They've had late drives to win. They've been clutch and they look like they know what to do.

Still.... despite all this... and despite the fact that I want them to win, I have a hard time picking it. The Steelers aren't nearly as exciting or fun to pick, but they simply keep winning. They wear you down and then they mow you down. Nobody is a superstar there but they keep finding ways to win. Roethlisberger scares me, though, always. He is loose with the ball sometimes, he takes viscious hits other times... and his one other Super Bowl, he played horrendously.

BUT.... he had to negotiate the Ravens defense and he did so very well. And the Cardinals defense is not the Ravens.

Could things go either way? Yes, much more than the line would lead you to believe. And do I want to see the Cardinals win? Sure, I've never liked Pittsburgh and I really don't think they're a great team this year, either. But in the end, I have to go with the mantra I should have gone with last year.

Defense wins championships.

Steelers 23, Cardinals 21

Two weeks ago: 2-0

Overall: 5-5

Football Jambalaya -- Undeserving Edition

Okay, so last week I picked the wrong upset -- I should have taken Arizona and not San Diego. But seriously, did you know anyone who honestly thought the Cardinals were going to win outright? I definitely had a weird feeling going in because we had all written that game off to the Panthers but I never completely loved the Panthers offense. And I saw them have a lead on the Giants and fail to close the G-men out. So I should have known better. I will say this -- when it got to 20-7, I truly knew it was over. One thing I never thought the Panthers could do was come back from a big hole when they'd need to be airing it out. I like Jake Delhomme a lot but he's just not that kind of quarterback. And he proved it. Of course, who expected them to be behind by that much?

As for San Diego, what can I say? I'm just an idiot. I really thought Ben Roethlisberger would play poorly after such a serious whack to the head in his previous game. But he almost played better, didn't he? And the Steelers defense is impressive. And San Diego, in the end, was a .500 team that was only .500 at the end of the season because they got hot. So I shoulda known. Again.

And as for the Giants, I don't even want to talk about it. It hurt enough to lose to the Eagles, but to then realize that all that stood between them and another Super Bowl appearance was a home game against the 6-seed Iggles and a home game against the 9-7, 4-seed Cardinals, well, that sucks. And interestingly, all four teams left are teams the Giants beat this season. How's that for an extra kick in the beans

Whatever, let's get on with it.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Arizona Cardinals -- Okay, it's not that they're "undeserving." They did what they needed to do to get here. But seriously, the Cardinals and the Eagles? Two 9-win teams? Whatever, they're here and that's all that matters to them and their fans. And it's all that should matter. So who wins? Well, I think both games this weekend are harder than usual to pick. Normally there's a clear favorite at this time of year, but without knowing the lines, I couldn't tell you who should be favored.

Both are obviously playing well. The Cardinals have looked more than lucky so far, too, having run up points on both their opponents -- both of whom were thought to have pretty good defenses, too. On the other hand, the Eagles honestly should have lost to Minnesota. If Westbrook doesn't break that one 71-yard screen or if Minnesota has a professional quarterback, I think that games goes the other way. And then they looked just as lifeless as the Giants until they suddenly were able to move the ball in the second half. And Samuel's pick certainly got them going in the right direction in both games. So I guess what I'm saying is the Eagles have won with some fortuitous bounces and opponents who weren't playing up to their capabilities, while the Cardinals have won because they've been clicking.

However, I just cannot imagine the Eagles letting Larry Fitzgerald dominate like Carolina did, although I know the Eagles are a blitzing team so maybe covering Fitz isn't a strength. And speaking of blitzing, I don't have a good feeling about Kurt Warner handling pressure. However, a friend of mine pointed out Warner's stats against the blitz, and they're amazing. My only thought on that is that having either Fitzgerald or Boldin as your hot route means you have two monsters able to reel in your panic-induced lasers as a blitz bears down on old Kurt.

What does all this mean? Well, I can see the Eagles winning just because as unimpressive as they've been to me, they just keep finding a way. And I can see Arizona winning because, well, they've been convincing. And they're even better at home. If they get a quick start again, it could be trouble for the Iggles.

Oh, a couple other thoughts on the Eagles... do you realize McNabb is only 32? Five NFC title games and he's just 32. And the a-hole fans in Philly were ready to run him out of there a month or so ago. Same with Andy Reid. I know the guy mismanages the clock sometimes, but this guy is a consistently good coach. And even though I know they haven't won a Super Bowl, we all know that once you're in the playoffs it's kind of a crapshoot. Getting there time after time is very impressive. And yes, it's difficult for me to compliment/defend a Philly sports team.

This truly could go either way and so I'm just going to go with the team that I think it playing better right now.

Cardinals 27, Eagles 20

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers -- One team I keep getting right is the Ravens. I, like everyone, knew they'd dismantle Noodlearm Pennington and the Dolphins in round one and I also felt confident they could beat the Kerry Collins-led Titans in round two. However, let's all cool it on anointing Joe Flacco the next fricking Joe Montana. He was 9/23 against the Fins and while he was slightly better against Tennessee, the Ravens barely let him throw the ball in the first half (I think he was 3 of 8 at halftime). That can only be done for so long. And yes, I know the Ravens defense has won them those two games, but if Tennessee doesn't turn the ball over so much last weekend, it's a different story. Maybe Flacco wins the game with his arm, but we'll never know because Alge Crumpler and Lendale White fell down and went boom.

And as for the Steelers, well, as I admitted above, they're better than I thought. I was never impressed during the year with them, seeing them lose some critical games and then only winning others (i.e., Dallas) when the other team made a critical error. And the other thing that worries me a bit if I'm a Pitts fan is that they've already beaten the Ravens twice this year. Beating a team three times is very unusual, but I do think that stat is a little overrated. Because it's a long season and they no longer need to beat the Ravens three times -- they need to beat them once. At home.

Are the defenses even? They're close, I'll tell you that. I'd still give the edge to the Ravens and that is significant because as good as Roethlisberger played last week, the Chargers are no where near the Ravens defensively. Could I see Big Ben getting blasted by Lewis or Suggs and giving way to Byron Leftwich? I sure could. And could I see Ed Reed picking apart the Steelers passing game? Yes, again.

But if the Steelers can get some points on the board, I'm just not yet convinced the Ravens can match them. Flacco does have a great arm and I admit plays very well for a rookie. But we haven't seen him win the game for his team yet. If he were playing the Chargers, I'd give it more thought. But against that Steelers D, I just don't know.

Again, I can truly see either team winning and, again, I don't think that's usually the case in the title games. Usually there's a clear favorite. But I guess (hope) that just means we'll have some good games this weekend.

Steelers 16, Ravens 13

Last Week: 1-3

Overall: 3-5

Football Jambalaya -- Rematch Edition

If I must give you a reason for that pic leading things off, I'll just say that the Chargers still being in the playoffs make me want to put up a beachy picture. But I know none of you care why a pic like that is here, so we'll just move along.

As my oh-so-clever title implies -- and as you've heard 8 billion times this week -- all games this weekend are rematches. Who cares? It doesn't matter. But since I'm feeling cranky, let me complain about something for a minute.

Why do we make our "picks"? Why does every writer, legit or otherwise, do this? Why do we do preseason picks? That's the most idiotic thing ever. Nobody has any clue how things are going to turn out, especially not in unpredictable sports like college football or pro football. Or even baseball. People were picking the Mariners to make the playoffs last year. Good gracious!

And worse than making these stupid picks, do you know what I hate the most? When a supposed expert, like, oh, say, Mike Golic, is asked how the Colts, for example, will do that upcoming weekend in the playoffs, and he starts his answer with something like, "Well, I picked them at the beginning of the season to go to the Super Bowl so I have to stick with that."

Um, no. No you do not. Things have changed since then. Circumstances have changed. You've got months worth of additional information at your disposal now to sift through and analyze. This is like This is like predicting in 1987 that cell phones are going to be a passing fad and then, in 2009, saying, "Well, I said that in 1987 and so I have to stick with my statement." Frigging idiots. You're actually paid to give a semi-informed opinion and that's what you say? I swear, of all the things on talk radio and ESPN that piss me off, that's really high up there. You're not bound to any earlier predictions. If you pick the Eagles to make the Super Bowl in August and then you're asked to pick their game this weekend and you honestly think they're going to lose, you say that. You know why? Because there aren't any rules! You can say whatever you want! And guys who say whatever they want and are brutally honest are usually celebrated for being that way! Charles Barkley just got arrested recently for driving drunk and saying he was trying to go get a blow job. But people love Charles! Enough so that he'll still be gainfully employed! If you or I did that, would that work out so well? Probably not. (Be fun to try, though.)

Anyway, that's enough of "What Grinds My Gears," by Peter Griffin.

Arizona Cardinals @ Carolina Panthers -- I'd be shocked to find anyone picking the Cardinals who wasn't doing it just to be a contrarian. Like when Mike Ditka picked the Giants to win the Super Bowl over the Patriots. I'm convinced he was forced to do that by ESPN, just so someone would say something different. He didn't even look happy saying it. The man has a canteloupe for a brain. Come on.

Anyway, my point is there's absolutely no reason to like the Cards here. They're not a good team. They cannot really run the ball. Though, yes, they sort of did last weekend. You know why? Becuase they had a lead, folks. Kudos for being logical and running the ball with a lead at home in the playoffs. They also have the corpse of Kurt Warner who has been putting up good numbers all year, but again, want to know why? Because he has two beasts in Boldin and Fitzgerald. Those guys are incredible athletes, even better than I think most of us realize. Did you see that Boldin catch between the two DBs last week? Would an average receiver get that? Or would it be another INT for ole Kurt Wobblyballs? And want more evidence? Did you see the way Kurt led Boldin into a fricking freight train against the Jets with his team down three scores in the final minute earlier this season? I'm sure those guys loving going up to catch passes for Kurt.

As for Carolina, nothing spectacular about them jumps out but they're really good at everything. The Giants were able to run the ball on them in Week 16 but if that's a weakness, Arizona can't capitalize on it. Plus the Cards are ninnys when they're away from the warmth of Arizona. Sure, it won't be frigid in Carolina, but it won't be Pacific Time, either, which is the only time zone the Cards win in.

All that said, with absolutely everyone already giving this game to the Panthers, it's beginning to feel like one of those games where the Cards could do something, if for no other reason than they know nobody expects them to go any further. And I'd love it, because it would mean the Giants (if they advance) would play the Cardinals instead of the Panthers. Still, as much as I think the Panthers have the potential to look past this game, I just cannot imagine the 9-7 Arizona Cardinals, led by Kurt Warner, playing in the NFC title game.

Panthers 27, Cardinals 21

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants -- If ever there's a game that's all about execution, it's this one. Neither team has anything up its sleeve. The Eagles are going to throw 1500 screens to Westbrook in the flat. The Giants are going to try to establish the run and keep pounding. The Eagles D is going to blitz the hell out of Eli. The Giants D is going to pass rush Donovan in the hopes of forcing him into mistakes.

These teams know each other and they know what they do. And they really can't do much else at this point. Nobody's implementing a new game plan. It'll be a question of who executes well. And I'll tell you, two weeks ago, the Eagles were a long shot to make the playoffs and now everyone loves them. I heard them compared to last year's Giants. Okay, maybe. But I was not impressed with them in Minnesota and I'll tell you why.

The Eagles scored one offensive touchdown and it was on that 70-something yard screen to Westbrook. So McNabb dumped it off, Westbrook shimmied his way down, and suddenly everyone loves the Iggles. But that's the only thing they did on offense all day? They kicked four FGs, had that TD and had an INT returned for a TD. And yes, Asante Samuel is a good DB, but he's also the DB that the other Patriots called out for not hitting David Tyree in the Super Bowl last year on the helmet catch. And Tavaris Jackson, frankly, is just terrible. If he was even decent, the Vikes would have won and Philly would be back home, deciding whether to fire Reid and cut Donovan. (Both mistakes, by the way, but won't it be interesting if McNabb ends up in someplace like Minnesota next year? They'll be in the NFC Championship Game without question.)

Anyway, combine all that with the fact that the Giants are rested and Coughlin and Spagnulo have had a chance (when not interviewing for the fricking Broncos job) to prepare the team. Again, I'm not saying there's going to be anything special -- but I believe in these guys when it comes to execution. The Giants were the most methodical team for the first three months of the season. I think they'll get back to that and will be very focused this weekend. I think some of the focus dwindled when it became clear the division was effectively theirs by the end of October.

I think the running game will be huge and will help neutralize the Philly blitzes and I think Eli will make a play or two when he has to. Yes, the lack of Burress can hurt, but if the running game is working, it's more than enough (with that Giants defense) to beat this Eagles team.

Giants 27, Eagles 14

San Diego Chargers @ Pittsburgh Steelers -- This is the hardest game for me to pick, actually. I think the Chargers are the hottest, steamrolling team right now... but Tomlinson is out. And for all those people out there who now are in love with Darren Sproles...get a grip. The guy is good and quick, yes. But he's listed at 5'6". Do you remember Dave Meggett? I do, because he was a Giant for a while. And he was just like this. Exciting, fast, small, versatile. But in the end, he wasn't an every down back and when you think about someone like Brandon Jacobs crashing through the line and then think about Sproles... well, Sproles works against a non-punishing defense that he can scoot around. It may be hard to hit him, but if the Steelers do place a good hit on him, I think you'll see him be somewhat less effective.

Also, LT, sack up, man. I'm tired of seeing you torpedo your team's chances in the playoffs by always being too hurt to play. But you stand there looking like a mean little guy on the sidelines, in full pads and everything. Eat some Campbells chunky soup, tuck in your skirt and let's go. Your groin will heal. It's not like you play in the preseason anyway. And I bet they can start 4-8 with or without your help.

As for the Steelers, I've never been sold on them as much as it seems the media is. I think they're good, yes, and their defense is awesome. But Ben Roethlisberger has never impressed me. The guy throws some horrid picks and yes, he won a Super Bowl, but he had perhaps the worst performance ever by a QB that won. So there's that. And when they flash that graphic about all his fourth-quarter comebacks? Well, when your defense is that good and you still have a lot of fourth quarter comebacks, what does that mean? That you're behind a lot!

Also, Roethlisberger has a concussion, though I just read that he's off the injury report completely. As though he's 100% healthy. After being taken off the field on a stretcher two weeks ago because his melon was cracked so hard he couldn't stand up. Chew on that for a minute. Do you see why this is so hard for me? I don't fully believe in either team. But I think for kicks, and because I don't really care, I'll go for the upset.

Chargers 24, Steelers 23

Baltimore Ravens @ Tennessee Titans -- I have never liked Baltimore. Maybe it's because they beat the Giants in Super Bowl XXX. Maybe it's because of Ray Lewis' ridiculous dance. Maybe it's currently because of how the media makes Joe Flacco out to be freaking Joe Montana, despite things like him going 9-23 for 135 against, ahem, the Dolphins. But I just have never liked them.

All that said, I think it might not matter at all what Flacco does, provided he doesn't throw three picks. I think the Ravens defense is ready to win games all by themselves. I see a team that really believes they're amazing, even though the got blown out a few times this year, which is weird. That would seem to give me reasons to pick the #1-seed Titans. But the Titans looked awful the last week of the season -- and I know they had nothing to play for, but still. They haven't played a meaningful game in a long time and, in the end, do you trust Kerry Collins?

The Titans have beaten teams by rushing the ball effectively with Chris Johnson and LenDale White. And when teams tried to stack up to stop the run because they didn't think Collins could beat them, he did just that. But none of those defenses was the Ravens. Well, they did play one another, but the Titans eeked out a 13-10 squeaker. Something tells me they'd trade that win for one right now.

I think Ed Reed and the rest of that Ravens D will pulverize the Titans and if Tennessee gets behind, they'll need to throw the ball more. Ruh-roh.

Ravens 21, Titans 16

Enjoy it, boys and girls.

Last week's record: 2-2

Friday Football Jambalaya

As you've no doubt heard by now, Peyton Manning is the 2008 NFL MVP. And that's a good thing, because Manning is a very good QB and at least now we don't have to constantly hear about how Brett Favre is the only three-time winner of the award.

It's the first playoff weekend for the NFL and for hard-core NFL fans this is a mixed emotions weekend. Sure, it's great to have playoff games on both days, but it sucks to know that there's no regular 1 PM and 4 PM games anymore and that we're just 11 games away from the 2008 season being gone.

Before I get into this weekend's games, let's take a quick look at some guys whose 2008 season already is over.

Hey, TO! "Get your popcorn ready!" Indeed, you insufferable jackass. Get some popcorn and sit your overrated, loser ass on the couch and watch the playoffs. And the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl that the clueless media decided was the Cowboys for the taking at the start of the year, despite the fact that this is the same team that melted down at home against the Giants last year in the playoffs and is led by a bunch of losers who have never won anything. Yes, I'm looking at you, TO, Romo and fatboy Wade Phillips. Why people believed these guys would do anything but disappoint is beyond me. And yet they still had the change to eek in at 10-6 by simply beating Philly, and they didn't just lose... they lost in epic fashion. If I were a Cowboys fan, I'd be miserable for the entire offseason after seeing things end like that. And to recap -- their December consisted of gut-wrenching/embarrassing losses to Pittsburgh, Baltimore (at home) and Philly, and a squeaked out win over a depleted Giants team. Nice finish, you losers.

(Okay, I'm done with them now.)

Oh, but I have plenty of venom left for this idiot. I'm certainly no Jets fan, but I have a buddies who are and I truly feel bad for them. Chad Pennington brought the Fins into Giants Stadium and ended the Jets season. That could not have been more poetic, nor more painful for Jetties fans. And to see Brett throw three backbreaking picks -- I mean, has anything been more predictable? I still don't get all these Favre apologists. He lost the NFC title game last year with a horrible pick against the Giants and he led the league in picks again this year, culminating with that horrendous showing against the Dolphins. I'm so sick of hearing about his "enthusiasm." He sucks, and he has sucked for several years. Yes, he's thrown more TDs than anyone ever. He's also thrown more picks than anyone. Ever. Doesn't that take some luster off of it? Do you know who has the most wins in NBA coaching history? Lenny Wilkins. Doesn't seem right, does it? Do you know why? Because he also has the most losses ever. You hang around long enough, you'll get some records simply by attrition. And now we get to deal with Brett Favre holding another organization hostage until next August when he decides he'll grace us all with another year of interceptions and near-misses. Great. Just be glad it's not your favorite team.

Okay, I'm done serving haterade and will now talk about the games briefly.

Atlanta Falcons @ Arizona Cardinals -- The Falcons are favored by 1.5 points, on the road, with a rookie quarterback. Wow. And the conventional wisdom out there is that home-field is worth about 3 points, so does this mean the Falcons are 4.5 points better than the Cards? No, it doesn't. Point spreads aren't about that, you fools. Point spreads have one, solitary goal -- to get an equal amount of betting on both sides. They have nothing to do with who is a better team and especially not how much better that team is.

I keep seeing people pick the Cardinals in this game and I can't figure out why. Because they'll be at home? Okay, sure, they're good at home, but mainly against the putrid division they play in. And Kurt Warner, mentioned as a possible MVP just a few weeks ago, seems to have turned back into the grizzled old dude that he really is. I like him, but I think his 2008 magic dust ran out about a month ago. The Cardinals look weak and the Falcons are better than people think. I saw them in person this year and Matt Ryan is pretty incredible. The guy sees plays develop better than I think most rookies do and Roddy White is an animal. I think the Falcons win this game without a lot of trouble.

Falcons 24, Cardinals 14

Indianapolis Colts @ San Diego Chargers -- Another road favorite, Indy has won 9 straight and Peyton is playing like a true veteran leader. The Chargers are definitely hot, having gone from 4-8 to 8-8 to make the playoffs and their 52 point performance against Denver has an Indy fan buddy of mine worried. But I don't think the worry is necessary. The Chargers thumped a Broncos team that mailed it in the last month and the Chargers were simply amped to win the division after truly being left for dead. I know they played the Colts well last January and beat them, but I just can't imagine that happening again. Tomlinson tweaked his groin and I think that's going to be a big deal. If he's 100% and Rivers isn't hobbling around like last year, then maybe the Chargers pull it off. And it being in San Diego is definitely nice for them. ("Take a hike." "You know what? I'm gonna do that. This weather is SWEET.")

I know the Chargers are playing well and they've had the Colts' number lately, but they still have Norv Turner, too.

Colts 31, Chargers, 27

Baltimore Ravens @ Miami Dolphins -- As awesome as it is that Chad Pennington took the Dolphins to the playoffs by beating the Jets after being cast off by the Jets like a used kicking tee, he's still the guy I used to make fun of as "Old Noodlearm" when I wanted to wrankle Jets fans. And as much as it's awesome that the Pats missed the playoffs, it kind of was screwy and I honestly think the Pats could have made some noise, while I think the Dolphins really have zero shot of going anywhere. I mean, think about it -- can you even fathom the Fins making the Super Bowl? And here they are a division champ, hosting a game. I mean, good for them... don't get me wrong, I think it's great for them and their fans (and for Jason Taylor, that jackhole who wound up in Washington on another loser team -- ha!). But I just really think they have no chance. Of course, nobody ever thinks Old Noodlearm has a chance and he seems to thrive on that. The Ravens are also a road favorite here -- the road team is the favorite in all four games this weekend, which has to be some kind of a record. And once again, I am going with the road team, which means I'll almost certainly get most of these picks wrong.

Ravens 21, Dolphins 13

Philadelphia Eagles @ Minnesota Vikings -- This is one of those early playoff games where deep inside you just know neither team has a shot at the Super Bowl. Somebody's going to win and move on to within two wins of getting there, but I think that's where the fun will end. The Eagles, while a balances team, are just way too inconsistent. And the Vikings, well, they're starting Tavaris Jackson at quarterback. You allow that Adrian Peterson is going to get his 150 yards and you hope to shut down everything else, which is possible. Or you stack against Peterson and make Jackson beat you with his arm.

He will not.

Eagles 31, Vikings 17

Feel free to come back Monday to point and laugh.

Football Jambalaya -- Hitler Edition

There's so much happening right now and I have a few free minutes so I wanted to talk about lots of things... which I've already done down below... but figured I should also do a football jambalya, which, while nobody seems to appreciate them, I kind of like.

Shitler Shravesty

As you may have heard, Lou Holtz compared Rich Rodriguez to Hitler, in some weird clumsy way... nobody quite understood the senile old man, including his castmates Mark May and Rece Davis. Holtz apologized on Saturday morning and ESPN will apprarently not discipline him, despite suspending Jemele Hill a few months ago for referencing Hitler in one of her columns. Interesting. Holtz is useless, anyway, so why not suspend him? It's not like he's adding anything.

Schlabach Continues To Be of Questionable Intelligence

Mark Schlabach, who writes inane article after inane article and yet still gets paid by ESPN, has another doozy out today. While everyone who watches college football has been impressed with Texas meeting the challenges they've faced and looking at the gauntlet of a schedule that they have to get through to make a potential National Title Game, Schlabach writes an "Is Texas Good?" article. Nice. I could break this down and point out what an idiot he is, but just read it yourself. You don't need help seeing how weird his argument is.

Thanks For Stopping By For 2008, Wisconsin

Wow, I guess after Pryor ran that one in against the Badgers at home on October 4, the Wisconsin team folded the tent, huh? Two straight tough losses and then they get blown out by Penn State and then.... 38-16 against Iowa? Really, Badgers? Weren't people talking about them as a Rose Bowl or even National Title contender just a month ago? 0-4 in the Big Ten... hey, welcome to the bottom of the heap, Wisky.

Moving to the NFL, It's Fun Watching the Cowgirls Implode

There's talk here in Texas about Wade Phillips being fired. I guess if he had stepped on Tony Romo's finger and broken it, or if he maybe had billyclubbed a better offensive line's collective kneecaps, then you could fault him for the 'Boys current skid. But seriously, did people think that a line that couldn't keep Romo from getting hurt was going to suddenly and skillfully protect 40-year-old relic Brad Johnson and they Cowboys would just roll?

Either way, for a Giants fan like me, it's fun to watch. Now up two in the loss column, and a tough division path ahead of them looks a little bit more navigable.

Mike Alstott Honored at Bucs Game

The ole A-Train got a well-deserved honor at the half of the Bucs game this weekend, being presented with two framed jerseys. One was his first one, in those hideous pre-1997 Tampa Bay jerseys that were basically synonymous with losing... and his name was spelled "Alsott" on it. Good to see the former Boilermaker -- and a favorite of ours -- being given full attention like that. Mike's a guy who just went to work every day and was never about the personal, individual honors, yet he has frequently deserved them. Good for you, Mike.

Football Jambalaya

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Football Jambalaya! Conference Championship Edition

Green Bay's Seinfeldian Strategy Backfires as Eli Enjoys Family Matters Instead -- Says That Urkell Guy "Cracks Him Up"

Now there's the happy face of a kid who has just won his eighth-grade football championship.

See, even I can't help but poke fun at Eli Manning. He looks like a kid. And maybe that's because he kind of is. Eli was born in 1981, folks. he just turned 26 a few weeks ago. And he's in the Super Bowl four years sooner than his more-famous big brother and, yes, I think that's worth noting.

This guy was written off many times in the last few years by the New York fans and media. There were always some who said he needed more time and that they weren't going to give up on him and I was one of those fans. But even I fully admit that I never thought the Giants would seriously go anywhere with Eli at the helm... not for a while at least. I looked at him like a lot of past Giants quarterbacks, kind of like Kerry Collins. At the end of the season, the guy has twenty-something touchdown passes and 3500-4000 yards passing and you go, wow, this guy must be kinda good. And then he'd absolutely fold under the pressure in the playoffs or a big spot and you'd realize that he just didn't "have it."

I never thought Eli was bad, mind you. I always felt like we were a little harsh on the guy. He has been a full-time starter for three seasons now and he's made the playoffs all three times. Do you realize how hard that is in today's NFL? He's 29-19 over these past three seasons and 3-2 in the playoffs. And now he's reached a Super Bowl. And they'll be underdogs... again. And against a high seed for the third week in a row.

I'd like to self-congratulate myself right now because I picked the G-men to win yesterday, 24-21...and they indeed won by 3, 23-20. The game played out exactly like I thought it could/would. The Giants D kept the pressure up and the Packers couldn't plow through them like they could against Seattle. And Brett Favre did what I've been waiting for him to do all year through this sham of a "storybook" season -- he reminded us that he's still the "gunslinger" who makes terrible decisions. His first pick should have cost them the game and his second did cost them the game. Not only that, but did anyone else notice Favre throw a Hail Mary at the end of the third quarter? He threw a bomb towards the end zone where he had one possible reciever and THREE Giants d-backs. Did he think there was another halftime coming up? Imagine if THAT one had been intercepted?

Here's another thing to imagine. Imagine if it was Eli and not golden boy Favre who threw that awful pick in overtime. Imagine how Eli would be absolutely crucified by the media and fans alike. He'd be the butt of so many jokes. But with Favre, we get these kinds of excuses:

In fairness to Favre, there were a lot of reasons the Packers lost Sunday.

But the biggest was a horribly-thrown ball in overtime that allowed the Giants to get the ball at about the 30. Horribly-thrown...by Favre. "In fairness."

They couldn't run the ball as they had in the second half of the season -- running back Ryan Grant finished with just 29 yards on 13 carries after gaining 201 in an NFC divisional playoff win over the Seahawks -- and their defense allowed the Giants to control the ball for more than 40 minutes.

Yes, the defense wasn't all that impressive. Yes, Ryan Grant didn't rush for 201 yards but it's hard to blame Ryan Grant only having 13 carries on... Ryan Grant. What is he supposed to do? Steal the ball out of Favre's hands and run away?

To understand Favre's impact on the game, all you have to know are his stats before and after halftime. He completed 10 of 18 passes for 163 yards and a touchdown in the first half. He completed just nine of 17 passes for 73 yards with two interceptions in the second half and overtime.

I love this stuff. 90 of those 163 first-half yards came on one pass to Donald Driver. So take that away and he had exactly the same yardage in both halves. And did anyone else see why Driver was wide open? Because after he and his cornerback locked up, Driver flung the corner to the ground and sprinted downfield. That's actually not allowed but since it was in Green Bay I guess that rule was suspended. (Officiating was overall pretty piss-poor, by the way, and it's good that the officials didn't cost anyone the game.)

And this following line I can't quite follow... is the author trying to sort of semi-imply that the INT wasn't all Favre's fault?

In fact, he actually thought the pass was in trouble from the moment it left his right hand. Wide receiver Donald Driver was supposed to run a "shake" route on second-and-8 from the Packers' 28-yard line, but Favre's pass sailed behind the receiver after Driver made his out cut.

Hard to say.

And the piling on Eli even hasn't stopped. They even compared Favre's pick to something Eli would do, since he's, you know, such a f-ckup:

He got a reprieve in overtime after Corey Webster intercepted a struggling Brett Favre -- the kind of mistake Manning often has made before his recent turnaround.

Actually, Eli's never thrown a pick that deadly in the playoffs so knock it off.

The other guy I'm most happy for is Tom Coughlin. Tom has been under a lot of scrutiny as well, and again by the NY media and fans. And, like Eli, it's unjustified. Coughlin has taken the team to the playoffs three straight years, which is impressive, I don't care what happens after that. And Coughlin has survived near mutinies by his teams and he's also outlasted Tiki Barber. Ah, Tiki, the jerkwad who said he'd still be playing if not for Coughlin and who said Eli's attempts at leadership were "comical".... thankfully, the Giants were free of Tiki leadership and they've meandered their leaderless way to the Super Bowl! So good for Coughlin. He's a good man and a good coach. So he's a little intense. At least we got to see him smile yesterday. And who doesn't love smiles?

My last comment on the Giants-Pack game was the weather. I love how everyone assumed it was a huge advantage for the Packers. My wife even said, "I think the Giants are going to lose because the Packers are used to this weather." And that shows that that kind of thinking was girl thinking. See, everyone, both teams have to play in the same weather. It doesn't matter that it was the Packers home field. It was subzero for both teams and human beings get cold -- I don't care where they live. And as far as being used to it... well, this was the third-coldest title game ever so I doubt any of them have experienced this level of cold. And not only that, most games at Lambeau aren't played in mid-to-late January so it's hard to imagine it's ever typically that cold in, say, November. No, the weather doesn't matter, especially when you're playing a team from a somewhat cold, Northern locale like the Giants.

Some pics from the Giants-Pack game follow.

Brr! It's cold, ya'll! I guess you won't have to read stories for the next two weeks about how back in Kiln, Mississippi I sand down balsa wood using nothing by my manly whiskers! Yeehaw!

Archie Manning hugs Tom Coughlin. I guess Archie decided to use his "incognito Indiana Jones" disguise.

Lawrence Tynes leads the way to the bratwurst and jacuzzi tubs.

Patriots Win, But In Boring-Ass Game

Was it just me or was that a really boring game? I was honestly expecting the Pats to come out and bomb the Chargers back to California. I was thinking it'd be like 28-3 at the half. But the Chahjuhs defense definitely held firm and worked Brady over. Three picks, Tommy? Three? That's not so good. Try doing that against the Giants and see how it works out. He won't, of course, because Brady never has consecutive bad games, but if he did, it would hurt the Pats. Mainly because the Giants can score touchdowns and the Chargers couldn't do anything but knock some field goals through.

Which is why when the Pats went up 21-12 early in the fourth, me and the guys I was watching with said, "That's the game."And Mrs. Money said, "Wait, why is that the game? There's like almost a whole quarter left. I don't get why you guys say that." And I then explained why we all felt that way -- the Chargers didn't look like they could possibly pump in two touchdowns in the final quarter so there was no way they were coming back. It really was foregone at that point. And it turned out to be true.

I don't have much else to say about this game because we all knew how it was going to turn out. I do give a lot of credit to the banged-up Chargers for getting this far and to Norv Turner for actually not appearing to be a terrible coach at all. Tomlinson, you're a sissy... saying you're 90% all week and then playing one series. Solid, man. Was it too cold for you in those mean Patriots' house? What a waste.

Pics from the fun in Foxboro...

Tom Brady reads a note left by last year's AFC champ QB Peyton Manning: "I still punked your ass last year, bitch."

The Pats are so good they give themselves challenges to keep the game interesting. Here, RB Kevin Faulk rushes with his eyes closed to give the Chargers at least a fighting chance.

More Proof That ESPN.com Polls Are Dumb

ESPN.com has a thingie up right now where you click on your favorite team and then vote for who you're pulling for in the Super Bowl. This is kind of clever but I'm not sure people get it.

I clicked on the Giants and it says, "Giants fans: Which team are you rooting for?" Now, shouldn't Giants fans be rooting for the Giants? One would think. And they pretty much are. But I was expecting it to say 98% for the Giants. No, after I voted, it showed 81.2% are rooting for the Giants and 18.7% for the Pats. What? What Giants fans are rooting for the Pats? If you're rooting for the Pats to have a perfect season, well, then you're not a Giants fan and I officially revoke your credentials.

Candidate For The Dumbest Thing I've Seen on Fox's Pregame Show:

Before the game started, we got to see the Fox team looking like frozen imbeciles (instead of room temperature imbeciles) because they thought it made sense to broadcast from the field at Lambeau. Somebody please explain to me what the point of this is. Do we care any more about what they're saying if they say it from inside Lambeau? Are they more credible? It's the same reason I think it's so stupid when a television field reporter is reporting on a hurricane and they go to the place where it's making landfall and stand in the storm. What's the point?

But no, just them being there wasn't the dumbest thing I saw. No, the dumbest was when Jimmy Johnson poured water from a bottle into a glass and said, "We'll see what this is like after the game!"

What? It's water, Jimmy. And we've already established that it's -2 outside. So it'll freeze. What's the point? To prove that water freezes below 32 F? Didn't we all learn this in Earth Science class? How frickin' stupid.

Candidate For The Dumbest Statistic I've Ever Heard:

After the game, Fox actually told us that the Giants were "the first team to reach the Super Bowl by beating three Super Bowl winners."

Wha?? The Bucs won their Super Bowl...when, in Jan 2003? Five years ago? With different players? The Packers won their last one, when, a decade ago? And the Cowboys won their last one even longer ago than that. Absolutely brilliant, Fox. You've found the statistic with the least meaning ever.

Stupid Michael Jordan-esque "Nobody Respects Us" Quote Of The Weekend:

After the Pats beat the Chargers to go to the Super Bowl and advance to 18-0 this season, super-sized idiot Rodney Harrison was interviewed after the game and said things about how "it's not bad for a group of over-30, washed-up, can't-run guys, huh? Not bad."

Yeah, um, Rodney? Come over here a sec. Yeah, nobody has ever said the Patriots defense is washed up. Nobody said it, nobody thought it, nobody thinks it, nobody would even dream of it. Your team is 18-0. You cannot -- I repeat, cannot -- play the "Nobody respects us" card. You simply can't. Everyone respects you. Everyone is afraid of you. Your team is a more than two-TD favorite in the Super Bowl. So shut the hell up.

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That's all for now.... but you know there will be more.

Football Jambalaya! The Divisional Round Edition

There is very little more enjoyable than watching those most-hated teams lose their sh-t completely. The Cowboys melted down in every way possible yesterday, no matter what you may hear from the team or their fans.

But before we get into the Jambalaya, let me just comment on TO and his crying. Sure, it's wonderful that he's defending his teammate with such passion and emotion... sure, it's good that a loss bothers him this much because it suggests he's less self-centered than he's always been. But I think it's something different... I think the dude is seriously unhinged and crying out for help.

Remember, this is a guy who couldn't get along with coaches like Andy Reid (a nice guy, it seems) or Bill Parcells (a guy universally respected as a winner). He also burned bridges with the city of Philadelphia and Donovan McNabb. He reportedly tried to frickin' committ suicide last year! He' always talking about how awesome he is and he has a famous quote: "I love me some me." Terrell is in trouble and his emotional breakdown is just one more piece of evidence. This guy is going to end tragically, I just know it. And that sucks.

Onto my meandering thoughts...

Hey, Dallas! How Does 0-6 Sound?

The Cowboys are 0-6 in their last six playoff games. Gosh, that's pretty awful. Tony Romo and Wade Phillips are a combined 0-6 in the playoffs. For their lives. Zero wins. And yet everyone was all up on the Cowboys' jocks this season and it was considered a foregone conclusion sometime in October that it would be Packers-Cowboys for the NFC and all those questions were out there about whether Brett Favre could win in Dallas since he never has before... oh well, guess it doesn't matter now.

I said last week that I thought the Giants would surprise people and I really was confident as the game went on and Eli Manning looked completely confident and didn't make any bonehead plays. None. He didn't have spectacular numbers but he threw two TDs and no picks and had a rating over 100. On the road. In the playoffs. Against the #1 seed. Now, I'm not like a lot of people who now have done a complete 180 on Manning and think he's "grown up" and is awesome. I still think what I've always thought. He's a solid quarterback who, with the right schemes and cast around him, can win you 10 games a year. He's not Peyton and he never will be. But if you ask him to work a game plan, he can do that and he's only going to get better. He's 26 years old, people. How long was Peyton considered a choker who couldn't win in the playoffs? Up until last year, right? As I've said, give Eli some time. He's showing now what he can do.

As for the Cowgirls, I think it's funny how badly Peter King seems to want to be Tony Romo's boyfriend. Earlier in the year, he said something about how Tony Romo "leads the league in smiles," and now he says this: "If you think that has anything to do with Romo taking 2 1/2 days in Mexico with his girlfriend, I feel sorry for you."

I like how it sounds like King is pissy that anyone might make mean comments about his main squeeze. It's kind of cute. I just hope Brett Favre doesn't find out you're cheating on him, Peter.

And yes, taking a Mexican vacation -- even if you get to receive sucky sucky from Jessica Simpson -- is kind of dumb during the playoffs. You know how people always say Peyton Manning is such a hard worker and works constantly to improve each and every little thing he can? And how Bill Belichick works day and night to the point where he has no life other than football? Do you notice how those guys -- and guys like them -- are the best at what they do? Yes, it is important and if people want to come down on Romo for not being at his best for whatever reason, they're entitled. Romo looked absolutely terrible in the fourth quarter and came completely unglued on those last couple of drives. He was screaming at refs and at his O-line, and he was just making poor decisions. Kind of an incredible meltdown to watch.

Eli Manning actually showing some emotion. But I'm more curious about the sassy chick in the do-me boots. I'm sure Amani was curious about her, too.

Clearly, Billy Volek Is A Secret Weapon

I am still shocked that the Chargers went into Indy and won. I was as wrong as I've ever been last week... in fact, this was the game I would say I was most sure of... even more than the Pats-Jags game. I didn't think there was any way the Colts could lose at home to a banged up Chargers team that squeaked by the Titans and looked happy to be there. Then LT gets hurt and is a cheerleader for the rest of the game... and, as much as I don't like Phil Rivers either, he actually did appear to grow up before our eyes. He made some impressive throws and handled the noise of the dome pretty well, all things considered. But then he couldn't play in the fourth quarter and somehow the Chargers still held on with Billy Volek -- who had thrown 10 passes this season -- manning the ship.

I have to comment on one thing Boilerdowd said in his earlier post about this game... I can't lay any of this at the feet of Peyton. He did all he could. He went 33 of 48 for 402 yards, with 3 TD passes and the two picks. But both interceptions were tipped by his own players and, truly, both should have been caught. The first one was admittedly a high pass but still was catchable. And the one on the five yard line was inexcuseable -- on the receiver's part (who was that anyway? Addai's backup?). No, I think Peyton played a very good game and his teammates let him down. Addai was ineffective, Harrison was rusty and there were too many tipped/dropped passes. The San Diego D was clearly up for this game and, as I said earlier, I think maybe the Colts were possibly guilty of thinking about a matchup with New England. Which, I admit, so was I... I've been thinking all year that the team that can take down the Pats is the Colts. And not because the Colts are just that amazing... it's because I think the Colts aren't afraid of the Pats, and that's kind of what it takes.

Alas, it's not to be this year and now the Chargers are going to limp into New England and most likely get smashed. But I'll be rooting like hell for them, despite not liking Rivers, LT, Merriman or Norv Turner.

Peyton does his best to make time go backwards so he can give it another shot...

Oooh! It Snowed! Brett Favre Looked Like A Football Angel!

Hey, thanks for showing up Seattle. Nice performance.

Okay, can we call a halt to all the broadcasters and journalists humping Brett Favre and his "legend"? I know he's great. I don't deny that. His numbers are incredible. He's an MVP, he's a hall of famer, he's a Super Bowl winner (though, can't we agree he should have won more than one?). But let's stop with all the, "Gosh, he's just a little kid...look at him throwing snowballs!" Good gracious. I've had enough of this.

Last year, Sports Illustrated publishes a preseason article fawning over Favre in a sickening way, so much so that I seriously wanted to contact SI and tell them they made me puke. I'll never forget the part of the article where he they said playing in the "tall August grass" that almost made it look like he had no shoes on, he "looked like Huck Funn." Shut up.

And then they make him their "Sportsman of the Year" this year. Why? Did he catch a prize-winning bass or something? His team went 13-3, yes, but there's this guy up in New England where, whether you like him or not, he just had the best season a quarterback could ever dream of having... a season you can barely have in Madden! In fact, Favre's numbers are less impressive than Tony Romo's! But that's neither here nor there. My point is, let's stop having overt manlove crushes on Brett Favre. Because the G-men are coming to town and, while I think the Pack will (and should) be favored, I truly believe the Giants can win. The Pack is not as good as a 13-3 team usually is... remember, they were terrible last year and, as a result, got a favorable schedule. Yes, they beat the teams on that schedule but they got beat soundly by the Cowboys and lost twice to the Bears. I don't know... I think the bodes well for this Giants team.

Wheee!! I'm such a kid, y'all!!

Patriots Inch Their Fans Closer To Indescribably Obnoxious Zone

I'll admit it. I've enjoyed the Patriots run. I had Tom Brady and Randy Moss on my fantasy team. I think it's fun to see awesome teams. And I like living in an era where the "best" whatever happens. McGwire, Bonds, etc... sure, those are tainted, but we lived through it and that's cool. We saw stuff happen. The same applies here.

And if it wasn't a Boston-based team with typical Boston fans, I'd be rooting for them to take it all the way. And if they were 15-1 I'd be fine with them smoking the Chargers like I think they will next weekend. But it's New England. And their obnixous fans. And hearing about how the the "Chahjuhs" don't have a chance, and how "Rivahs" sucks. Yeah, yeah.

The Pats are the best team we've seen in most of our lifetimes. They're incredible. Even on down nights, they have more than the other team. Teams have been able to hang with them for a half several times in recent weeks (like the Jags on Saturday) but nobody can sustain it. The only team that looked to truly have the Pats number was the Colts. That November game was amazing and it truly looked like the Pats just got hot for part of that game and that had there been a few more minutes, who knows what would have happened. My point is, the Colts really seemed to sustain it for the whole game and just came up short. And while I would have loved to see my Giants take down the 15-0 Pats in that last game of the season, I was actually okay with them going 16-0 (like I said, seeing history is cool) because I actually felt confident that the Colts would give them a game and quite possibly beat them... making the story that much better. I mean, how devastating would it be to go 16-0 and then lose? To your rival? Awesomeness.

But now we're left with hoping the Chargers or the Packers-Giants winner can derail the Pats and, honestly, I don't think any of them can even come close. The Giants already gave them their best shot. The Chargers are probably afraid of them after losing at home last year and getting punched in the mouth by the Patriots early this year. As for the Pack, I have no doubt Favre thinks he can beat them but that's the most dangerous thing for Pack fans... Favre is just what the Pats defense would want -- a guy willing to force things.

So now we wait and see... and all root collectively for, as Boilerdowd put it, anybody but the Pats.

I guess now I know what it's like for everyone who hates the Yankees.

Yeah, these guys won't be too obnoxious if the Pats continue to 19-0. I'm amazed Patriots fans can count that high, quite honestly.

Football Jambalaya!

So I wanted to make some comments about random football happenings over the past week and hadn't gotten around to it so you're going to get them in jambalaya format, inspired by the LSU Tigers two-loss national championship season. Way to go, Tigers. Yipee.

Jim Tressel was very excited just to be near the trophy last night, as you can see from this picture, which continues to be one of our favorites.

Anyway, on to my thoughts...

LSU Convinces Nobody -- College Football Limps Home

Okay, so LSU pounded on OSU last night. Did that prove anything? No, it didn't. And Georgia and USC look like scary-ass college football teams that, when healthy, could certainly hang with LSU, if not beat them. It would also be neat to make some of these SEC teams travel once in a while. They never seem to leave the southeastern part of the country. Granted, biscuits and gravy and grits aren't served everywhere in the country so I don't know what they'd eat, but they should have to travel, too.

The thing is, college football is so great and then we have this lame-ass ending every year. We've all stopped caring about it and even when Georgia and USC win their BCS games in blowouts, it means absolutely nothing. NOTHING! NCAA, we don't care that you adorn their bowl games with BCS lettering -- it means nothing to the fans. It only means money. And quite honestly, most of us have spent enough money on our colleges and universities. Come up with a better way to end the season or people will continue to care less and less until it starts to affect the regular season. And then you're screwed.

Way To Go, Hawaii! Boise State Hates You Even More Now

Hey, remember how Boise State got the WAC some respect last year by beating Oklahoma in one of the best college football games we've seen in quite some time? And remember how people were trying to make a case that Hawaii belonged with the big boys because of their supposedly prolific offense and Colt Brennan? Well, you know what we remembered here at Boiled Sports? We remembered that last season, Purdue traveled out to Hawaii and almost took down the Rainbow Warriors in their home stadium. And if Purdue can almost take down Hawaii and Hawaii needs overtime to beat Louisiana Tech and San Jose State... well, it isn't too hard to figure that Georgia might be able to not only hang with the Hawaii offense, but maybe even stop it! So basically, arrogant Hawaii got smoked by a team they didn't even belong on the same field with. The Rainbow Warriors should be out of the Top 25.

Chargers Squeak By A Bad Team -- Prepare To Be Curb-Stomped By Colts

On to the pros, now. The San Diego Chargers stormed out to an 0-6 hole at halftime of their HOME playoff game against the Tennessee Titans over the weekend... the Titans led by a guy who can't really throw and whose legs were hurting. Speaking of Vince Young, am I the only one who thinks his career arc is a lot more likely to mirror Kordell Stewart than Randall Cunningham? Remember how Kordell went the playoffs several times with the Steelers but really was the weak link? Running QBs who can't throw accurately don't last in this league... and sometimes they go to jail for killing doggies.

I just found it very telling when the Chargers eeked out a home win against a not-very-good team and then they showed Norv Turner dancing on the freaking sidelines with his players. Can you imagine Bill Belichick doing this? Oh, hell, Tom Coughlin? Or Tony Dungy? No matter a coach's success history, I can't imagine any of them literally dancing and celebrating a win that looked shaky, especially with the defending champion Colts coming up. And further evidence of the Bolts having no idea what they're in for was Phil Rivers in his postgame press conference saying they did a lot of things right and it got them ready to play the Colts. Uh, no sir, no it did not. You're going on the road to play in the dome against a FAR better team than the Titans. I think it's gonna be real ugly. Get ready for the many faces of Norv.

Sean Taylor's Ghost Has Seen Enough -- So Has Gibbs

Hey, remember how when the Redskins beat the Cowboys by 21 to get into the playoffs and all those clowns started barking about how "it's no surprise that we won by 21," attempting to overforce more emotion relating to Sean Taylor (Taylor wore number 21)? While it was a tragedy that Taylor was cut down so early in life, they 'skins (and the league) paid him a very nice series of tributes back when it happened, so it's time to stop trying to connect everything. Because if Sean Taylor is up there making sure you make the playoffs and just for kicks arranging it so you win your playoff-deciding game by 21, what was he doing this weekend? Deciding his boys have had enough fun and causing Todd Collins to throw two interceptions and turn back into a nice mixer (oh, wait, that's Tom Collins)? And just to put the icing on it, did Taylor cause the Skins to lose by 21 this week? Man, who knew Sean Taylor had such a sick sense of humor? Oh, or maybe it has more to do with the fact that 21 is one of the most common numbers associated with football since it's, you know, divisible by seven.

Joe Gibbs has also seen enough and is retiring.... again. Gibbs was hailed as a savior in Washington and he really coached like the gap between 1992 and now was instantaneous... like he skipped over those minutes to instantly arrive at this moment in time. It was definitely time for Joe to dodder back into retirement before he pooped himself on the sideline or something.

Giants Shut People Up -- For Now

Hey, did you know that Eli Manning has more postseason wins than Tony Romo does? Bet you haven't thought about it that way. And the Giants have already lost twice to the Cowgirls this season.... it's pretty hard to beat an NFL team three times in one season, wouldn't you think? I think the Giants might surprise some people this weekend. Their defense looks good and Eli has had no trouble lighting up the Cowgirl defense. Plus, Jessica Simpson went to Mexico with Tony Romo and hopefully rode him like the Cowboy he is, so much so that Tony might be tired out. We'll see.