Boiled Sports Weekly Real Genius: Troy Calhoun

If you can out-think, out-wit, out-prepare and beat a genius, what must you be? I don't really know. But you are at the very least considered the Boiled Sports Weekly Real Genius when you accomplish such a feat. Congratulations, Coach Troy Calhoun! You have earned this honor.

In your first year as head coach of the Air Force Academy, you're off to an 8-3 start despite the significant limitations on who you can recruit and put on the field. For example, your star running back is just a boilerdowd-sized ball of fury who, despite his significant size disadvantage managed to pile up 173 total yards of offense against the larger, more athletic, Zeus-like, godly Notre Dame defenders, many of whom are clearly cast in the mold of Tom "Champ" Zbikowski.

It's often hard to fathom how coaches with such inferior X's and O's knowledge are able to topple the Big Manatee, but your time spent as an Air Force officer from 1989-1995 surely must have helped you out-strategize your clearly more intelligent opposition.

It is possible, however, that during this time of war for our country, that Charlie Weis has decided to build up the confidence of the service academies and make them feel more superior than they really have earned. It's hard to say. Charlie's just that kind of great guy, though. Ask him, he'll tell you.

Kudos also to you coach on not letting this one be close enough for the zebras to help Notre Dame out on a phantom pass interference call or anything like that. Your ability to motivate your smaller, weaker, less-handsome young men and spur them on to victory over the mighty force of destruction known as Notre Dame will have far-reaching impact. One example of this impact is the little-known fact that the United States government was considering disbanding the Air Force and simply deploying Notre Dame into enemy territory with Coach Weis drawing up attack formations and Jimmy Claussen piloting the F-16s. Thanks to your victory, this decision will be headed back to committee.

So fight on, Troy Calhoun, and savor this moment as there may only be another one or two of these awards deployed this season. Carry on, sir.

Wheeee!!

Pickles thinks about his Sunday morning bubble bath and manicure while wondering what it feels like to win in Notre Dame Stadium.
(Also, brrr! His ears are cold! This ain't California!)