Friday, January 27, 2012

Grabbing Loose Balls Against The Purple-Headed Warriors

Sometimes it's easy to remember what you don't like about an opponent. Other times it's harder. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, BS is here to help. In a new feature (and you know how well we stick to new features), we'll help you figger out why you should hate Purdue's next opponent, mainly using third grade playground insults and other such high-brow stuff you've come to love BS for. 

Up today: The Northwestern Wildcats.

What's to hate about the Mildcats, you might ask? I mean, they've never even been to the NCAA Tournament! Ha!

Oh wait, well, that might be one thing to hate. For those of you who identify with the conference as a whole, SEC-style, you should have an issue with this. Few major conferences (uhh, actually, maybe none) have a team that has never appeared in an NCAA Tourney bracket. Their ESPN page simply lacks the little box below the conference standings that displays their "Tournament History." I guess ESPN exercised a rare moment of discretion and elected to show nothing at all rather than a bunch of zeros and "None" entries.

OMHR Iowa hates and mocks Northwestern mercilessly, despite being routinely handed humbling (to schools that understand humility) losses on both grass and hardwood. So maybe this is more reason to hate OMHR? I don't know. Nor do I care. Hate 'em both. Hell, they have something of a little rivalry, where OMHR refers to them as just Northwestern, yet seems to always find a banana peel next to the just Northwestern bench. Yeah, that's a hatable rivalry. You two kittens are cute the way you fight over that ball of yarn.

Northwestern is for quitters. A couple of years ago, the Cats had Kevin Coble, who appeared to be a good enough white stiff on a program loaded with white stiffs to lead them to a middling seed in the NCAA tournament and a Thursday afternoon bludgeoning in March at an exotic locale like Boise or Spokane. But then Kevin Coble did what any of us would do if we had to wear a purple outfit in front of our friends. He quit

Please share your reasons to hate Northwestern below.

4 PM, tomorrow, ESPN or ESPN2.


grant.jacob2 said...

I live in Evanston and I'm a huge purdue fan. I hate northwestern fans, they're all pretentious douche bags who seem to think their subpar play is due to the fact that they can't recruit talent that is smart enough. Take a look at Duke and Georgetown, they always have competitive squads and their academic requirements are just as prestigious. A team billed to be "chicago's big ten team" should be able to recruit chicago very hard and intrigue players with the education they have to offer. Bill Carmody is a joke

Plang said...

I don't hate the Mildcats, I feel sorry for them. That no matter how much talent they have, how good they may look on paper, or even in person, they will always find a way to not do any better than an NIT berth, and even that is no sure bet. Poor things. I keep waiting for someone to put them in a burlap sack and chuck them in the river.

Andrew said...

What grant.jacob said--lots of jNU fans do love to whine about that--plus...

Bratty student section tries to be Duke with smarter-than-thou chants. They succeed, sort of.

Welsh-Ryan Arena is way too close to Wilmette for a major conference sports program.

The Wildcat noise played over the PA is stupid, stupid, stupid.

Can't win a football bowl game.

Gary Barnett, who got them to the Rose Bowl, turned out to be a total jerk, too.

BoilerPaulie said...

Co-sign on the wildcat sound byte. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

THuff said...

Their new court looks like it was painted with Crayola markers