Major League 4: First Blood Part 2

In honor of my hometown Indians and their epic struggle against the New York Darth Vaders, I've decided to go back to a simpler time. A time when Indians greats like Pedro Cerrano and Roger Dorn played. I hereby present some memorable Major League quotes. If you don't like them then you're a communist.

I play for the Indians.
Here in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team!
Yep, we've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.

How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
Gee, I don't know...
What do you mean, you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues.
Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls.

This guy threw at his own son in a father son game.

Let's cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this [master falcon] out."

Monty, anything to add?
Ummm... no.
He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

Oh no, no. Too high, it's too high.

Burning Attendance Questions

You've probably seen this story since it's making the rounds on the blogs today on a rather sloowwwww news day... but a fan got booted from the Marlins-Nats game yesterday for heckling an umpire. And the guy was a season ticketholder!! The reason he could be heard was that there were only about 400 people at the game. 400! At a major league baseball game! This is the plot to Major League, for crying out loud.

I mean, if you've only got 400 people in the park, and one of your season ticketholders showed up and wants to shout at the umpire, I think you ought to let him.

My first thought, though, was whether or not they played the stadium-favorite, "Can You Guess The Attendance?" game that is played in nearly all MLB ballparks. I can just imagine it...

Can You Guess Today's Attendance?

A) 55,123
B) 406
C) 72,154
D) 33,165

I think it woulda been fun.

We've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!

bunt (bŭnt) Pronunciation Key
v. bunt·ed, bunt·ing, bunts

v. tr.

1. Baseball

1. To bat (a pitched ball) by tapping it lightly so that the ball rolls slowly in front of the infielders.

2. To cause (a base runner) to advance or (a run) to score by bunting.

2. To push or strike with or as if with the head; butt.

v. intr.

1. Baseball To bunt a pitched ball: The batter squared away to bunt.

2. To butt.

n.

1. Baseball

1. The act of bunting.

2. A bunted ball.

2. A butt with or as if with the head.

[Dialectal, to push, strike.]

bunt'er n.



If you don't understand the purpose of posting a definition here, allow me to explain the situation.

The Indians and the Tigers are tied for first place in the AL Central. The Indians and Tigers are playing each other on Tuesday in Cleveland. The Indians and Tigers are tied 2-2 in the bottom of the 9th.

The Indians have a man on second with no outs. None. Not even one. Zero. No outs. Man on second. No outs. What do they proceed to do? Let's swing away shall we! It will be a grand ole time. Let's swing all night long. What proceeds to happen? It goes something like this... in order:

Strike out.
1 out.

Strike out.
2 outs.

Strike out.
3 outs.

Let's play extra innings shall we? Then the Tigers score 4 in the top of the 10th and win 6-2.

Hence, my suggestion to BUNT THE FREAKING BALL! Bunt like your life depends on it, because it does. If you keep playing like dung then you will miss the playoffs again. BUNT! When you only need one run, and you have a man on second with no outs, you bunt. It's simple really. They're major league baseball players. They should all be able to bunt. So bunt. Just bunt. For the love of God, bunt the ball.

One hit? That's all we got? One damn hit?!?

The Indians are the first team in nearly 55 years to win a game with their only hit coming in their first at-bat.

Grady Sizemore led off Cleveland's 2-1 win over the Chicago White Sox on Sunday with a double.

The Indians' output Sunday was the lowest hit total in a victory for the club since April 12, 1992, when they had no hits off Matt Young of Boston.

Now, it would seem that it would be hard to win a game in which you have no hits. It's happened more than you might have thought however. In fact, it happened twice in two years in the early 90's. On July 1, 1990 Andy Hawkins pitched a no-hitter for the Yankees, but his team lost 4-0 to the White Sox.