I'm Back, Bizznatches

I've been away from BS for about twelve days -- the longest I've stayed away since we hatched her.

And what happens? I come back and see my brethren are doing a fantastic job, but there are a smattering of boob comments in the posts, demanding to know where the boobies are.

Look, the boobies are on hiatus right now. We might bring them back perioidically -- if you all behave yourselves.

We're not just pieces of meat, you know. We have brains and thoughts and feelings, too! We have emotions, and we're very delicate! Do you know what it's like when men look at you and all they look at are your boobies? Do you? HUH? I didn't think so.

Up here, buddy. Try looking me in the eyes. Yeah, that's right. Don't talk to my boobs -- talk to me! I'm not showing these off for you to ogle at! I'm showing them off because it's my right! And by posting boobies every Friday for a year was not "asking for it." Damn you for thinking that!

What do you mean, just show them to you for a second? Why would I do that? And what kind of game is "Just the Tip"? I've never heard of it.

Yeah, I know you think you're really slick wearing those sunglasses so you can look wherever you want. I wasn't born yesterday. Fine. Fine! You want to see some boobs? Will that make you happy? Fine, make me feel cheap. Here you go.



It's good to be back.

Dan Dakich's Meteoric Rise

Do you know this man? As Boilerdowd (and others) reported below, he's about to become the next head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers. I'm pretty sure Dan Dakich should publish a book entitled, "How To Rise To The Top: The Dan Dakich Way." With a foreword by Kelvin Sampson, naturally, the man who helped him get to the top.

In October, ol' Dan was just in an "administrative position with the team." However, the powers that be must have chosen him to be in that nebulous position just in case the shit hit the fan. And it did.

In October, Assistant Coach Rob Senderhoff resigned amid the start of this sinking ship disaster detonated by Captain Kelvin. At that time, Smilin' Dan Dakach was promoted to Senderhoff's old position of assistant coach. Finally the administration had a "clean" guy on the bench. I like to think of Dakach coming on to the squad much the way Shooter came on board to help Norman Dale coach the Hickory basketball team. But I digress.

Dakach served as an assistant under Coach Sanctions, patiently biding his time and being a real team guy. He was a mentor and a father figure and the players have bonded with him during his lengthy service to the team.

"Coach Dak...Dakoff, is that his name? Yeah, he's been here... well, a few months anyway," star freshman Eric Gorden was (not) quoted as saying.

Yes, folks, this just shows if you put the time in, good things will come your way. Tomorrow, it is expected that Coach Sanctions will be shit-canned (or at least embarrassingly suspended, at which point he clearly should resign) and Dan Dakich will take over as head coach, a mere four months after being just an administrator. What did that mean, anyway? He filed paperwork? He admitted people into Ass Hall? Was he a ticket-taker? Nobody knows.

Dakach is expected to become the AD after Greenspan is fired and then, most likely, he will be serving as chancellor of the University by the time graduation rolls around in May.

All hail Dean Dan Dakich! Triple D! The D-Dogg!