BS Interview Series -- Black Shoe Diaries

And you probably thought you had heard the last of the BS Interview Series. What's that? You'd hoped you'd heard the last? Yeah, well, it's not yet over. Despite the fact that others are making an art of it. Hey, it's summertime again and we're passing the time in one of the best ways possible -- asking other people to write stuff for us.

This installment of the BS Interview Series is with Mike over at Black Shoe Diaries. It sounds kinky, like Red Shoe Diaries, but it really isn't. Erotic videos of Joe Paterno should never be seen.

Away we go.

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Boiled Sports: Admit it. The “Love ya Lions” thing they put on the board at the stadium is kind of girly, right? And what’s with that “roar” they play after first downs and whatnot? Honest thoughts?

Black Shoe Diaries: Well, we had to do something. And the World’s Largest Drum was already taken. Now pardon me while I ponder the concept of a Purdue fan mocking the Penn State football experience.

[Not exactly a denial that it's kind of swishy.-Ed.]

BS: Are PSU fans still basking in the glow of their national championship in the spring?

BSD: Still beating that drum, eh?

The NIT tournament was exciting, but Penn State fans aren’t delusional. We know it’s nowhere near the same level as the NCAA tournament. But for a program that not too long ago considered the Northwestern game the most important game of the year to keep from finishing last in the Big Ten, winning the NIT signifies a lot of progress. Don’t get me wrong. I’d rather play in the NCAA tournament. But if the selection committee doesn’t think you’re worthy, what are you going to do? If you have to go to the NIT, you might as well win the damn thing.

We’re excited with the direction the program is going. When DeChellis came on board we literally couldn’t even scrounge up enough players to hold a scrimmage in practice. Now we’re being invited to post season tournaments. We have some pretty good freshmen coming in this year with Tim Frazier and Bill Edwards. Next year we have a top 100 player in Taran Buie coming in. Ed is recruiting well and building some quality depth. And the schedule is beefed up this year to look more attractive to the selection committee. We’ve got a long way to go before people mention us as contenders for the Big Ten Championship, but we’re taking baby steps and getting better every day.

BS: When you think of Purdue Athletics, what do you think of?

BSD: I think there is tremendous potential at Purdue, but you’re in a tough spot geographically. I imagine every kid growing up in Indiana probably wants to play football for Notre Dame or Michigan. Or if they play basketball they probably want to go to Indiana or Kentucky.

I’ve always kind of liked Purdue going back to the Drew Brees and Mike Alstott days. But I don’t think the spread offense fits the personality of the school very well. You’re all about trains and hammers and for some reason really, really big drums. Scrap the spread and go with the wishbone offense. Power football would better suit your style.

BS: We (and probably many others) think JoePa is just a figurehead at this point and doesn’t do a whole lot (no headset, etc.). I know there are reports that claim otherwise. As a PSU fan and authority, what do you honestly think about him hanging around this long? Obviously, winning helps limit talk about how he should leave, but is the plan here to die on the field or something? We’re genuinely curious as to your take on Joe. When is enough enough?

BSD: Well, Bear Bryant never wore a headset either. Would anyone say he didn’t do a whole lot? Honestly, if he keeps going 11-1, winning Big Ten championships, and pulling in top 10 recruiting classes, he can coach as long as he wants in my book. I hope they clone him so he can come back and coach another 50 years.

But in my honest opinion I think there’s some truth to what you say. I wouldn’t say Joe is a figurehead, but he is a program manager. He delegates a lot of the daily duties of a head coach to his staff. Most head coaches keep either the offense or defense for themselves. Joe give the defense to Tom Bradley and the offense is split between Galen Hall and Jay Paterno. They organize and run the practices and put together the game plans, but I think everything still goes through Joe and he has the final say on everything. He’s there in practice getting in your face if you dog it on your assignment. He’s very much involved in the team operations, but he doesn’t work himself a hundred hours a week like most people think head coaches have to do these days to earn their million dollar contracts.

BS: Does the ongoing media perception that the Big Ten is second-tier bother you as much as some of the rest of us? Or do you not concern yourself with perception of the conference?

BSD: It doesn’t bother me that the SEC is the top dog in college football and the Big Ten is a few notches below them. That’s the reality of the situation. You can’t argue with the bowl records in recent years. The Big Ten just isn’t getting it done.

What bothers me is when I see people taking glee in it or suggesting an undefeated Big Ten team doesn’t deserve a chance at the title over a one-loss SEC or Big XII team. Maybe it’s the Penn State in me, but I believe you should win and lose with grace and class. Some SEC writers and bloggers don’t see it that way and they prefer to kick the Big Ten when it’s down. That’s fine. I know these things are cyclical and one day the Big Ten will be back just like Penn State came back after the first half of this decade. They make too much money to stay this bad forever.

BS: PSU is relatively new to the Big Ten (when you consider the conference’s long history) and doesn’t really have a hated rival the way UM-OSU, UM-MSU, PUR-IU, etc, do. So in your opinion, what program do you dislike the most and want to beat above all others?

BSD: Right now I would say Ohio State is the team Penn State fans love to hate the most. The Buckeyes are one of the two teams the Big Ten has assigned to never roll off our schedule. In 2005 and 2008 the game between our two teams has decided the automatic BCS bid for the conference. So we’re developing some history there, and lately the Buckeye fans worry more about us than their hated rival to the north.

It’s interesting though because up until last year if you had asked me I probably would have said Michigan was the team that Penn State fans hated the most. Losing nine in a row to the Wolverines including some real heart breakers made some Penn State fans start foaming at the mouth at the sight of a winged helmet. But we got over that hump and Michigan is largely irrelevant in the Big Ten picture for the next year or two so the hatred isn’t there anymore. But we still look forward to beating them up again this year.

BS: Best moment for you personally as a Lions fan? Worst moment for you as a Lions fan?

BSD: The best moment had to be the 17-10 win over the Buckeyes in 2005. I was there in attendance and it was my first whiteout. The stadium was literally shaking from all of the noise. And after the disappointing years from 2000-2004 it was a win over a top ten team that symbolized Penn State’s return as a relevant program on the national stage.

The worst moment had to be losing to Minnesota in 1999. We were the No. 2 team in the nation and looked like we were in the driver seat for a spot in the national championship game. But the Gophers hit a Hail Mary in the final seconds that set up a game winning field goal. After that the team went into a tailspin losing the next two games, and then they went on to have losing records four of the next five years.

Other bad moments include losing to Michigan in 2005 and Iowa in 2008. They all derailed national championship seasons. Getting snubbed in 1994 hurt too. Pick any one of them really.

BS: Do you have a college program other than your true love that you kind of have a guilty pleasure for and like to see do well?

BSD: When I was in high school I got to attend the 1991 Gator Bowl as a member of my high school marching band. Michigan beat Mississippi 35-3, so I kind of became a Michigan fan from that. I was still a diehard PSU fan as a kid, but this was a few years before Penn State joined the Big Ten so I didn’t see any conflict of interest there. Today I still kind of pull for the Wolverines when they’re not playing my Lions. Don’t tell the guys over at BSD I said that.

BS: You can have a national title (a real one) in football or basketball this coming year. Which do you choose and why?

BSD: Football. Easily. We’re long overdue and there have been too many times over the years where we either got robbed by the voters or came up just short. Plus I want to see Joe get one more.

BS: Most of those of us who write one of these blogsites have a steady list of sites they visit every morning. What are some favorite blogs of yours to read? List as many or as few as you’d like.

BSD: Honestly, there aren’t a lot of blogs I read every single day. That probably sounds pretty arrogant, but I just don’t have time. I have a family and a full time job. So when I sit down to the computer I’m just focused on finding material for my own blog. I mostly cruise the headlines looking for information to share, and most of it is Penn State related. Rarely do I ever read anything not related to Penn State or the Big Ten. Like MGoBlog says, pick a niche and dominate it. I have all of the Big Ten blogs in my reader so I scan through just about every post every Big Ten blog puts out. If I see something that looks interesting I’ll stop to read it. But I try to move on quickly. I used to get sucked into just reading blogs all day, and then at the end of the day I realized I hadn’t posted anything on my own blog. So I just try to focus on BSD as much as I can.

BS: Well-done on continuing the tradition of interview subjects who have yet to list Boiled Sports as a regular stop. *sigh* Love ya, Lions.

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Previous subjects of the BS Interview Series:

MGoBlog
Lake The Posts
Eleven Warriors

UM Panties Remain Bunched, Cause Strange Justifications

We found it interesting that the write-ups from several prominent and respected (usually, even by us) Michigan sites were so up-in-arms over the incident in Mackey Arena on Saturday. The incident, which you know unless you accidentally navigated in here while doing a Google search on Boiled Crawfish or something (and if so, welcome), was the one in which Manny Harris of Michigan put his elbow into Chris Kramer's nose and was then ejected from the game.

First, let's take a look at some of the foot-stomping going on out there in the 'sphere:

From the UM Rivals board:

Watch the clip and tell me: did Manny even make contact with Kramer's face? I don't think he did. I think Kramer flopped and broke his nose when he fell on the floor.

Yes, I'm sure that's what happened. Kramer's face never hit the floor. Come on. Look at it frame by frame.

From Maize n Brew:

"Unfortunately, Purdue's Kramer was checking Harris from approximately 1 inch away with his face very closely. So when Harris swung through, his elbow caught Kramer in the nose (who quickly went to the floor) and what transpired next could only be aptly described as a sham of officiating."

Who "quickly went to the floor"? Is this implying Kramer was acting? He actually lost consciousness. So yeah, what a flopper. Let's move along.

MnB then goes on to quote from the rule book, as do other sites, but they of course pull the parts that support their boy.

Do you really want to use the rulebook? Because so can we. Many of the UM sites are saying sure he deserved a flagrant, but since he didn't MEAN to hurt Kramer, he shouldn't have been ejected. Unfortunately, just like not knowing how fast you're going isn't an excuse to get out of a speeding ticket, not "meaning" to hurt someone is no reason not to be penalized. Let me share a subsection of Rule 10, Article 13 with you:

Rule 10, Article 13, sub e, sub-sub 2: Two free throws [are awarded] for an intentional personal or flagrant personal foul and the ball awarded at a designated spot nearest to where the foul occurred.

Any flagrant personal foul shall result in ejection of the offender.

Read that last line again. Not to pick on anyone in particular, but Michigan Sports Center makes the case like this:

This was a ridiculous call simply because Harris didn't intentionally hit Kramer. I can't stress that enough. It was an accident.

Once it was determined that it was a flagrant personal foul, Manny was done. It's not debatable. And it doesn't matter if he really is a nice guy and didn't mean to do it. He did it and so he's guilty.

What's really disappointing was the normally level-headed MGoBlog's take, which was this:

"It's one thing to lose. It's another thing to lose partially, largely, or entirely because of the incompetence of a referee.... [It was] a foul and was adjudged one until such point as Scrappy Heady IQ Head For The Scrappy Eckstein started gushing blood out of his nose and the Purdue crowd cried out, at which point it was cause to boot Manny Harris. From there Michigan imploded."

A few things... one, we're not arguing that the Big Ten officials are awful and incompetent and stealing money from the NCAA. They miss calls both ways. But these digs at Kramer as though he embelleshed this are just ridiculous. He didn't "gush blood" for effect. And it wasn't the crowd being angry that got Manny booted -- it was a couple of other things...

As already detailed, no matter how sweet a guy Manny Harris is, it was a flagrant foul. And a flagrant foul -- especially one causing injury -- is cause for ejection. Even if Manny teaches disabled children how to walk again and has singing voice that makes doves appear. It's irrelevant.

And, yes, Zack Novak's blatant elbow in the previous game against OSU does affect things. Sorry, boys, but your team is being looked at more closely now. You have guys throwing elbows and getting suspended and so when another elbow happens in the very next game you simply cannot act outraged that people begin to ask questions.

One of the other popular things today is to take rips at Jay Bilas' comments on ESPN that night. He said Belein has to "get his team under control." And this is true. Whether or not you think Manny's elbow was intentional, it's now a pattern. And who is responsible? The coach. None of us here think he's coaching them to elbow guys. But both incidents occurred when his players were very frustrated -- one in a blowout loss (Novak) and the other when their leading scorer was getting worked by Kramer.

And what about the other comments made by guys more respected that Bilas? How about Bob Knight pointing out that if the defender gets up on you, that's his space. You do not have the right to swing your elbows into his nose. That is a flagrant offensive foul.

Michigan fans have every right to be bothered by this situation. But to toss the rulebook around and act as though it's silly to eject a guy who drew blood by committing a textbook flagrant foul -- especially in light of recent elbowing fouls on the same team -- is just being a little bit short-sighted. We thought maybe everybody just needed to calm down after a disappointing loss and would then come to their senses. Guess not, though.

What enraged most of the Mackey crowd more than the play, though, was that after the decision was made, Belien's repeated physical turning around of the official to continue arguing with him. Matt Painter gets a technical foul at the end of the first half because he argued with the officials over a non-call when Robbie Hummel gets mugged, yet John Belein can assault the referees at his leisure and until he's done with his dissertation. We were there and, trust me, that's what almost caused the riot.

When Kramer got the elbow to the face, we didn't actually think Manny should be ejected. We were actually pissed at the officials at that point. As Boilerdowd said to me, "You have two teams that play pressure defense in each other's faces and you call a total of ten team fouls in the first half. This is what happens."

Was this like someone stepping on another player's head or like Zack Novak's elbow in the previous game? Absolutely, unequivocally, not.

Was it a flagrant foul that the rulebook says you get ejected for?

Yes, it was.

Coach Tiller Reflection Fest (Big Ten Bloggers' Perspective)

I made the often fatal mistake of wading out in the waters of the Big Ten Bloggers Google Group and asking whoever was willing to send me their thoughts, memories, impressions, etc., on Joe Tiller. What he’s accomplished, if anything, and what he leaves behind. After some of the usual brain-dead, “Dur, Purdue sucks!” kinds of comments, I got some genuine feedback from some of the brethren. I’ll share it here.

Joe Tiller. You know, after a couple years of reading nothing but diabetes jokes, it's interesting to actually sit down and look back on the guy's career.

The first thing I think of, of course, is the phrase "basketball on grass" and an interview I watched too long ago to remember about where the system came from. According to this in game Q&A from what was probably the Drew Brees era, it went something like this: Tiller's wife thought football was boring and suggested he throw the ball more because that was "fun."

I'm not convinced that's the truth but it definitely could be. What's more probable, though, is that the guy is a true contrarian. He recognized that Purdue, cursed with a school name that can be morphed into literally thousands of pun-insults, wasn't going to ever be more talented than the big dogs. He did the same thing that made Rich Rodriguez famous: used a different system that would make more talented defenses uncomfortable. And you know, if it wasn't for one terribly devastating fumble he could have literally transformed the program.

It's ironic, I think, that the last major news he would make was a criticism of a guy who is in a lot of ways from the same mold. While I doubt there is actually some unspoken agreement, Rodriguez definitely was recruiting differently and more persistently than Big Ten coaches historically needed to, and exploiting that inefficiency is going to reap rewards...at least until everyone catches up. And that's the problem, the conference has caught up to Tiller's tricks. Half the offenses in the Big Ten are using more open attacks, and so when he brings his team on the road he is facing a defense that is no longer taken back by the once unique system. He should get credit for this, of course; this happened in large part because of him.

And so off into the sunset or sunrise or whenever the guys feels like fishing. Purdue football isn't currently in great shape and will probably need to find a new identity, but if all it takes to get to the Rose Bowl is a unique offense and a coach with a funny mustache, then the one thing Tiller can leave behind is a sense of hope. I mean, have you seen Danny Hope's mustache?

-- Kevin, Black Shoe Diaries


Tiller is a dead ringer for Sheriff Buford T. Justice without the comic appeal. True, he was boring, but he beat our ass (and Nick Saban) more often than not. Which also says a lot about pre-Doctor Michigan State.

--Scott, Enlightened Spartan


A letter from Joe Tiller, procured by the esteemed BHGP.

--Adam, BHGP


In my experience, Minnesota fans have always had a high level of respect for Joe Tiller. Joe Tiller was the first coach in the Big Ten who had the forward-looking vision to implement the spread offense in a conference that consisted predominantly of power-running offenses. Tiller's teams were competitive against teams that were often stacked with superior talent. Even for a fan of Purdue's opponent, Tiller's offenses were always entertaining to watch. Crisp passing, creative formations, and smart football were to be expected from his teams. More important than his ability to coach teams that would consistently exceed expectations, Joe Tiller was a consummate professional. Throughout the years there have been coaches who would insult opposing schools, throw temper tantrums on the sideline, and run up the score when the game was clearly over in order to satisfy egomaniacal needs. Not Joe Tiller. He always set the gold standard for professionalism. I will remember Joe Tiller as a visionary coach and a class act.

--Buck Bravo, Buck Bravo’s Gopher Football Blog

Big Ten Roundtable -- Bottoming Out Edition

This week's Big Ten Roundtable is hosted by Nittany White Out. Did you know Penn Staters think they invented the "white out" concept? It's kind of cute. I'll admit they do it very, very well, of course, but they need to lay off the "nobody else should be allowed to do our thing" mantra.

Anyway, on to the Roundtable and our BS answers.

1. We're approaching week 9 now, are you pleasantly surprised or already waiting for basketball season?

We're pleasantly surprised we haven't started picketing (or torching) Tiller's office...It's a good thing work is still busy.

2. Describe one specific play from this season you would alter for a different outcome if you had the chance to.

The kickoff of the Northern Colorado game -- we'd have a different head coach on the sideline...and maybe we'd be on the way to rebuilding this shravesty of a program instead of having to wait yet another full season for Hope to take over.

3. How could it (#2) possibly impact the way your season is going?

The record might be similar, but the style of play would be different and the overall attitude of the fanbase would be more positive as we'd know we're building toward something instead of waiting for the anti-climactic end to befall us.

4. Big Ten player you just can't stand, why?

Can't think of any player that we especially dislike right now...but there's this one coach who we think is a schmo.

5. Boo'ing your own team (we've seen quite a lot of this across theBig Ten this season), your feelings on this.

We're generally against booing college players...even if the coaches deserve it, you don't want the players to think they're being booed. Those guys are busting their humps for our alma mater and are simply following orders. All that said, the Big Ten officials are quite worthy of being booed.

Bonus Round

1. Number of beers or alcoholic drinks consumed by week 8 (or a good estimate)?

Do Shirley Temples count?

2. Most annoying commercial seen this season

There's a commercial where some bitchy woman has to change what her husband wears to make herself feel like she's useful...and the dumbass just allows it like he can't think for himself...That commercial and any like it piss us off.

3. Your prediction for the next coaching change in the Big Ten (JoeTiller exempt).

Bill Lynch will be fired by IU at season's end and replaced with current Purdue asst. and IU alum, Mark Hagen...and he'll be a darned good coach for IU

Big Ten Roundtable -- Jeopardy Edition

This week’s roundtable is being hosted by The Only Game That Matters, and they’ve decided to mix things up a bit. I’ll let Beauford Bixel explain:

In an effort to switch things up combined with a weird obsession with Jeopardy, I've decided that this week I'm going to write the answers -- you guys write the questions. The questions can be one-liners, paragraphs, whatever. The goal is to be as funny as you can, and I expect pot-shots taken at various teams and bloggers whether warranted or not (Call me a dumbass for these roundtables, and you might just make the side-bar). Let's get a little life back into these things.

Aaaaaand if it crashes and burns, who cares?

Let me first say that as much of a prick as I can be and as much as I’d love to call him a dumbass, this is a great idea – not just revolving hosts, but also revolving formats. Good idea.

On to the "answers" (from TOGTM) and the "questions" (from us):

1) Jay Paterno and the Spread HD

What does JoPa think his son does with a stripper whose name is Happy Destiny?

2) Joe Tiller's Mustache

What is the only thing remaining from Joe Tiller’s initial success at Purdue?

3) The Color Purple

How would I describe the head of my penis?

4) Brains

What does JoPa like to “hang” when he wants to get a laugh from the team?

5) Hawkeye State

Who does Adam Jacobi of BHGP give a roman helmet to after every Iowa victory?

6) Rudy

What Notre Dame player of lore was also known by the nickname pegboy?

7) Knee Ligaments

What one part of Terrell Pryor’s game would we like to take away on Saturday to improve Purdue’s chances?

8) Terrell Pryor

What standout freshman was recruited and coached at OSU in the same honest, non-cheating fashion as Maurice Clarett?

9) Mark May

What black college football analyst really thinks he’s white?

10) Rich Rodriguez

Who fooled Michigan?

Big Ten Roundtable -- Nostalgia Edition

It's time for this week's edition of the Big Ten Bloggers Roundtable, hosted this week by Our Honor Defend. So let's get on to Our Answers Written.

[Oh, and why the pic of delicious Jenna Fischer? Why not? The Office is back, we all like The Office, and we all like Jenna... and she's as worthy of space here as anyone.]

01. We're all basically in conference play now, sans Purdue who playedvisitor to Notre Dame over the weekend. What did you see in theconference opener that you liked? What did you see that suckednoodles? If you're one of the Purdue blogs, what did you see againstNotre Dame that has you nervous (or even optimistic) for yourconference opener against Penn State this Saturday? Oh, and, have funwith that game, by the way.

Question 01? What is this, the Dukes of Hazzard?

Pretty much everything "sucked noodles" for us. Losing to a not-very-good Notre Dame teams does not bode well for our season. There aren’t any more gimmes on the schedule and we think this team went from “typical 7-8 win Purdue team” to “will struggle to go to a bowl game.”

The offense, while not terrible, is wildly illogical in terms of playcalling. Something works (i.e. Kory Sheets) and so... we go away from it for a while. Then we go back when we shouldn’t. Lather, rinse, repeat.

On defense, well, we’re terrible… to the point where both OTT and us called for D-coordinator Brock Spack to be fired immediately. And anyone who reads either site knows we’re not knee-jerkers about this stuff.

We’re not optimistic, at all. PSU should run roughshod over us this weekend. All three BS staffers will be in attendance in Section 119, so if a miracle happens, then…wheee.

02. Ole Miss punked #4 Florida in Gainesville. #1 USC got punked byOregon State on national television? What's the underlying themebehind these bizarre upsets? You guessed it: magic. Some kind ofhocus-y pocus-y sorcery in the form of "familiarity". The idea beingpitched around is that these upsets come in conference games becausethe underdog has played the heavily favored team before, and thusisn't afraid of them nor surprised by anything they do. Should I buythis idea? Or are these upsets more likely the combination ofsomething more conventional, like great/horrendous gameplanning,preparation and execution by the underdog/favorite team respectively?

Probably a combination. Yes, I think there’s legitimacy to the claim of “familiarity” – it’s tough to continue beating an opponent who sees you a lot. And that transitions to gameplanning/preparation – if you know the opponent well, you can gameplan for them better. Right?

As for the examples you cited, though, I think Ole Miss is just a pretty good team in the tough SEC and USC took Oregon State lightly. I don’t think they were ready to play and this is becoming a little bit epidemic in the Pete Carroll era.

03. Entering the season, Beanie was the Big Ten's Heisman favorite.After a few games, Javon Ringer had put up the Heisman stats, though Idon't think anyone could've believed that Ringer would have the hypemachine necessary to get him to New York. Yet, after this week, I seehis name mentioned more and more in the Heisman race. Do you thinkRinger, at this pace, gets to New York on something more than acourtesy visit (on courtesy visit, see: everyone last year not namedTim Tebow; everyone in 2006 not named Troy Smith)? How about DaryllClark? Is Daryll Clark of Penn State legitimately in the Heisman raceafter week 5?

It’s too early to be talking Heisman. Let’s just slow down. It’s also too early to be talking about PSU like they’re national championship-bound. They just played their first legitimate opponent of the season and now they get us, so clearly, they have yet to be tested. Same goes for all Heisman hopefuls. 3-5 good games is a LONG way from being invited…. But if you’re demanding a prediction, I’ll say no, none of those guys go… but the best chance of going is maybe Clark.

04. With the nonconference schedule basically over, do you think theBig Ten collectively bettered its standing from the maligned positionit was in before the season began? For every Wisconsin victory overFresno State and Penn State thrashing of Oregon State, there'sMichigan's turnover bonanza against the Irish and Ohio State'sneutering by USC. Long question short, what sticks out more: thepositives or the negatives for the conference?

No. Everyone still thinks the Big Ten is weak and the only game the “nation” collectively paid attention to was aOSU getting obliterated at USC… who then went and lost to a different OSU. So Ohio State’s SOS gets knocked down another peg, further de-legitimizing the Big Ten.

We still think it’s a very legit conference and, top-to-bottom, there’s no way you can convince me it’s not on par (at least) with the Big 12, but the prevailing, idiot-wisdom from the media mouthpieces who have the ESPN stage (i.e., Mark May, Mark Schlabach, etc.) is that the Big Ten sucks, plain and simple, and after spitting that out they move on. If anyone paid any attention they’d see the “bottom” teams of recent years (NW, Minn, Purdue, IU) are much more competitive – and downright good in some cases – as the middle-to-bottom dwellers in other conferences. But whatever, everyone thinks we suck, why do I waste my time?

05. As I'm sure you may have seen on your moving pictures box, theErnie Davis movie has been getting a lot of publicity for its imminentrelease to theatres. The story, of course, centers around the firstAfrican-American Heisman winner and some of the trials that come frombeing a black athlete, playing before the Civil Rights movement andplaying in the Cotton Bowl. Does your football program have anuplifting story that you think is movie-worthy? If so, please share it.

The Seth Morales Story: The Tale Of A Walk-On Who Eventually Caught Perhaps The Biggest Pass In Recent Purdue History When Future NFL-er Mike Doss Blew His Help Coverage.

Starring Cowboy Joe Tiller… Seth Morales…and Drew Brees as The Gunslinger.

Here’s a clip of Drew talking about it.



And here’s the film itself.



Oscar-winner.

Big Ten Bloggers SquareTable Roundup

A few days ago, I posted the Boiled Sports-hosted Big Ten Squaretable. And many of the Big Ten Bloggers participated. Some seem to enjoy this as a diversion. Some seem to approach it joylessly, like it’s required homework. Others seem to think it’s some kind of contest, like there’s a points system and they might win somehow. And Enlightened Spartan’s email was the kindest:

Has to be the easiest and most enjoyable yet.

Just like my high school girlfriend.

Regardless, here’s who participated:

Enlightened Spartan (Who is apparently not enlightened enough to find a decent site host.)

Black Heart Gold Pants (Who actually didn’t participate, but instead sent brief, half-assed answers along with a famous-among-Big-Ten-Bloggers photo of old men having a threesome. Does anyone else get reminded of the things “Sean Connery” would do during those Will Ferrell/Jeopardy sketches on SNL whenever they deal with BHGP?)

Paint The Town Orange (Reminds me of a joke – why does Illinois wear orange? So their fans can wear the same shirt to the game Friday, hunting Saturday and picking up trash on the highway on Sunday.)

The Only Game That Matters (Always assumed the only game that mattered was the game of Life. Well, that or Sorry. Or Chutes and Ladders.)

Zombie Nation (Perfect name for a site that loves 900-year-old, undead Joe Paterno.)

Varsity Blue (One of those sites whose name was probably quickly – and without much thought – conceived, much like Adam Jacobi, and now has a header that says “Varsity Maize.”)

Maize & Blue Nation (I’d have gone with “Maize & Blue Town Known As Ann Arbor.” Which reminds me, how is “AnnArborIsAWhore.com” not a site yet?)

The Nittany Line (One of the few Big Ten Blogs more basic-looking than ours.)

Ground Zero East Lansing (Close second in name voting: Smoldering Wreckage East Lansing.)

Lake The Posts (What happens when you toss a blog into a lake.)

Happy Hour Valley (A Penn State blog with a name that implies drinking – if you’ve ever been to Happy Valley, this is about as shocking as Clay Aiken being gay.)

As we work through this rather long wrapup post, quoted text from other sites is in italics. Cool? Good.

As for the responses, as I said, there were some terrific ones. There were also some potshots being taken. The Nittany Line began by mocking me directly (more directly than most, anyway):

First off I don't take orders from someone that only gets his balls back from his wife once a week, damnit I'll call it a Roundtable and you'll like it junior!

Okay, you little whippersnapper. If my wife had her hands on my balls almost all week long, I’d rather enjoy that.

And Happy Hour Valley called our naming it the Squaretable, “…a deliberate attempt at lameness.”

Mmm-hmm. Kind of like the “ROWR” noise that’s made at PSU games and the “Love ya Lions!” graphic on the board are deliberate attempts at being latently homosexual.

On we go to the questions…

1) We're all car guys here at BS. So your task is to assign your own program a vehicle. Is Purdue an all-terrain vehicle like a Jeep or a Hummer? Something befitting a brawny Boilermaker? Is Ohio State a slow, conversion van being passed by Corvettes with USC markings? Is IU a John Deere tractor with a hillbilly riding on it? Get creative and let us know both what your school is if it’s a car as well as assigning a vehicle to as many of the other Big Ten schools as you like. (I’d require you to do them all but I know attention spans are short and counting to 11 is hard.)

This question generated some quite funny – and very creative – answers.

Enlightened Spartan says they’re a hippy bus. And has no comments on anyone else.

BHGP, via email, says “Iowa is a car that’s pretty good.” Solid.

Paint the Town Orange went with Illinois being a “water car”:

Our offense is one that is perfectly suited, and often prefers to stay on solid ground. But in certain situations will go to the air, or in this case water, and cruise around at blistering speeds. Also you can waterski with it, and that totally rocks right?

Speaking of water-skiing… Zooker!

The Only Game That Matters felt that our question was a “trap”:

So far in this blog's short history, we've avoided falling into the trap of "Big Ten teams as..." posts. Big Ten teams as Simpson's Characters! Big Ten teams as TV Networks! Big Ten teams as Porn Stars! They're all tiresome and tedious. We'll play along here though, and for extra credit we'll do all eleven Big Ten teams as "modes of transportation."

Ah, I see. Our question is “tiresome and tedious,” is it now? And yet you’ll still do it. That’s what I thought, you little daffodils.

Regardless, they did a good job, nailing eleven great suggestions for the Big Ten teams. My favorites included:

Illinois: The Dodo. If you've played GTAIII (yes, the one for PS2) you know exactly what I'm talking about. Oh sure, you can get it, and you can drive it. But just try to get off the ground for any discernible distance. Go ahead. We dare you. Just like Illinois, the thing looks sweet, and runs fine on the ground, but as soon as you try to do anything through the air it locks up and ends in a heaping fireball of twisted fury and a PS2 controller slammed viciously against the floor.

Iowa: The first thing that popped into my head when I though "Iowa" was this, offered without caption or comment.

Minnesota: The mall escalator. They're the up side so far, but sooner or later, you've gotta get off that puppy and head back down. I mean, they only go two directions.

Penn State: Last week, I wrote that the tag line for Penn State this year should be "I can't believe this offense is working either." What vehicle perfectly matches that? How about this. Every time this thing starts, I'm amazed, but man oh man, once it's goin' it can sure mow down opponents, provided they're not over 6" tall and made of soft, fluffy grass. Either way, this thing's pretty useless once the grass stops growing, which should be around October 1st.

Indiana: I'll go with the first thing that google images pops up when I type in "Indiana University and Car." Indiana, this is your vehicle. Odd, since that appears to be the Golden Gate bridge in the background, but also kinda fitting. You're not going to get anywhere fast… but hey, on a perfect day going downhill, it can probably get you safely to a bowl game.

Zombie Nation also did all eleven programs (that’s what she said) and also did a very admirable job. Among my favorites here include…

Wisconsin: Loud, slow, and usually surrounded by drunken working-class heros, you just keep plowing over everyone.

Michigan: You laugh now, but this 'project car' will beat your pants off some day.

Purdue: You used to be cool… in like 2000.

Ohio State: You WERE making excellent time, but then…

Northwestern: Just because we can't afford one of our own, doesn't mean you're automatically smarter than the rest of us.

Indiana: Aw, while cute and efficient, no one really takes them seriously.

Maize & Blue Nation had two car suggestions that I found particularly clever:

tOSU is a Land Rover. From the outside, it looks great. It's supposed to have a ton of power and speed. It can clear large objects and traverse almost any terrain. But as soon as you get it home, something breaks and you get about 3 recall notices in the mail, and it spends the whole season going in and out of the shop. And by the end of the year, all that is left is a heap of rusted worn out metal.

Michigan State is a dump truck rolling down a steep hill. The problem is, once you hit the bottom of the hill, you have to push down on the gas. Sometimes the driver can find it, sometimes the driver slams into a wall. Usually the bottom of the hill is right about the time they play Michigan. I think they might have a better driver this year, but we'll see if he can find that gas pedal.

The Nittany Line decided to answer a totally different question, and chose to assign bikes to each school. This would have been a terrific answer if (a) I’d asked about bikes, (b) more than 10% of the population has any clue what the difference between bikes is and got humor out of it or (c) if we were all at the Blue Oyster Bar. (For the record, I do have a bike – an ’89 Ninja 600R – so eat it.)

Nevertheless, there were a few clever ones…

Purdue: Any bike ridden by Evil Knievel. Joe Tiller brought the high flying spread offense to the Big Ten and admit it, you liked it and a small part of you wanted to see it on your team, just like a small part of every kid wanted to be Evil Knievel. Just like Purdue's offense Knievel made people shake their heads in awe. Sure Purdue beat some good teams and sure Knievel made some breathtaking jumps but just like Purdue's games, more times than not Knievel's jumps ended very badly often in horrific fashion.

Northwestern: Vespa

He has a great picture of a pinkish/purpleish Vespa, but I can’t link you to it because he has his links disabled like a dink.

Sure it's cute and sure it's smart, hell you'll probably get something in the neighborhood of 80 miles per gallon, but can you really take this thing seriously? You know what they say about fat chicks and scooters they're always fun to ride just don't let your buddies catch you doing it. How many guys openly admit they own a Vespa and how many guys open admit they root for Northwestern… oh, sorry LTP.

Lake The Posts chimes in with some nice suggestions as well:

Penn State - Oldsmobile. It's not your father's Oldsmobile. It's your father's father's Oldsmobile.

Illinois - A Lamborghini. Not sure how the guy driving it could afford it, but you're pretty sure they're compensating for some insecurities.

Purdue - Mazda Miata. Screams of using flash and sleek exterior to compensate for a midlife crisis knowing you are used to driving a minivan.

Worth noting that’s the second comparison of Purdue to a Miata.

Northwestern - A Volvo. High performance engine, but its 5-star crash rating is what let's you sleep at night.

High performance, you say? To the tune of 16-8 over Ohio? We shall see…

Happy Hour Valley says that Ohio State is a Pinto:

Things were going alright for the Buckeyes until they go severely rear-ended by USC and exploded in flames.

2) In Week 1 in the NFL, the New England Patriots learned how precious things can be when Tom Brady had his knee blown out by a former Boilermaker. Let’s say your team wins out from here to the end and is in a BCS bowl game with a chance to do the school and conference proud – what ONE player on your squad would you most likely cry about having his knee blown out in the first quarter? That is, who is truly indispensable?

Answers varied, and my favorite point in haughtiness was the way more than one PSU blog acted as though they’re so damn talented, they could lose key guys and keep on steamrollin’.

They did seem to agree that Sean Lee was an example of a key loss that they’ve soldiered on without, taking down powerhouses like Temple. Uh, yeah.

Zombie Nation sez: I love this question. Penn State has already lost its "indispensable" player in Sean Lee, and we're doing just fine. Penn State doesn't have that ONE player right now who's injury would kill the season or the big game. Watch this team play a few times, and you'll see that there's no individual star. Hell, even if Daryll Clark went down, PSU has Pat Devlin, who'd start for most other Big Ten teams right now.

Yeah, we’ve got guys on the BENCH who would start for most of you mooks! Rah-rah-sis-boom-bah!

Let’s get into conference play before you make this assertion, son.

Happy Hour Valley: We have so many weapons offensively that it’s hard to pinpoint one guy whose injury would cripple our attack…

Man, you guys must be national championship-bound!

LTP was saddened that I gloated about Tom Brady’s injury and chose Tyrell Sutton.

PTTO takes: Arrelious, for-realious Benn.

TOGTM decided to focus on 45% of the teams in the Big Ten, interestingly leaving out Wisconsin and PSU, the early conference favorites:

Going through every team so far has been tedious,

Managed to mention “tedious” in each of his first two answers. Must have been on his Word of the Day calendar.

so I'll name just a few players who I believe are truly indispensable for teams thus far:

Beanie Wells - OSU
C.J. Bacher - Northwestern
Javon Ringer - MSU
Kellen Lewis - Indiana
Juice Williams - Illinois

Really, that's all I can think of. This answer probably won't win any awards.

Nope.

The Michigan blogs – M&BN and VB – go with McGuffie and Threet, respectively. And yes, what ever would Michigan do to save their Motor City Bowl hopes if they lost one of these guys? I kid, I kid. (Sort of.)

An interesting answer came from G0EL, who focused on the second most indispensable:

It's Ringer, and I think everybody knows why by now.

Because he’s handsome?

Instead of dwelling on that point, I'll tell you who I think is second most indispensable. I'd say strong safety Otis Wiley has returned to his 2006 form, but he's better than that. He leads the Big Ten with four interceptions, and has been all over the field so far this year. His interceptions against Cal helped keep MSU in the game, and he had a critical pick against Notre Dame which set up the first MSU touchdown. He's the most dynamic playmaker on the MSU defense, and if he goes down, there's nobody really suitable at safety to replace him currently.

Solid answer, actually.

3) Purdue plays Notre Dame this week and, well, we detest Notre Dame like probably no other program. Let's say I have the power to force you (maybe you lost a bet to me) to wear another Big Ten school's colors to an away game for that team. That is, you're wearing OSU colors to a game being played at Michigan, or something like that. And I'm talking, dorky, head-to-toe… goofy-ass sweatshirts and flat-brimmed, ridiculous-looking hats. If you have to choose, which program would you be able to stomach wearing? (Remember, you're going to an away game, so people won't like you and accept you and you'll be taking this abuse for a school you're not even affiliated with.) And by the same token, what program could you absolutely not EVER stomach wearing, under any circumstances?

A lot of people felt Northwestern was the easiest to wear as it’s hard to hate a harmless, cuddly little purple kitten, with a couple votes for MSU as well. Let’s let LTP lead off for this one:

Purdue. No, not because you're hosting, but because they are the Switzerland of fandoms. I've been down this road many times before. Michigan and Ohio State are the kings of the hill and therefore unlikable and too bandwagon-y. Penn State is right there with them prior to the slip-ups of the early-to-mid-2000s. Wisconsin is a border war team. Sparty and Iowa are LTPs least favorite fan bases for the (aggghhh! We lost to NORTHWESTERN!!!!) lack of respect card and for least friendly fans who come to Ryan Field. Illinois is obviously our in-state rival. Indiana is well, Indiana. Which leaves Minnesota and Purdue. I like both of the fan bases and am always treated well by their alums, so it comes down to a fashion play. Black and gold with a train logo is just way cooler than maroon and gold and a silly buck-tooth gopher. Boiler up!

Best. Answer. Ever. You’re right, LTP, we do rule.

Happy Hour Valley challenged us thusly, and I don’t really get it:

And if you need me to write out which school’s clothing I would refuse to dress up in, then perhaps you should stop calling yourself a “Big Ten Guy.”

Really? PSU is the least rivalry-affected school in the Big Ten. And I call myself a “Handsome Guy.”

ES decided to start talking like they’re in Fargo or something:

ES would wear da purple of N'western or da Red of Wisky... but would never wear blue and yeller for da Yeller Bellies.

PTTO would tolerate MSU but has this to say about what they would never tolerate:

What could I never stomach? Iowa IOWA Iowa. I lived just across the river from Iowa most of my life, and have had to deal with those loud pink-faced sunburned attaboys too many times.

TOGTM wears IU willingly but has this to say about OSU:

I would never wear Ohio State gear, but had an awkward experience involving Greg Oden during which I had to pretend to be an Ohio State fan. I vomited violently afterwards. I don't understand how Ohio State fans can stand that taste. Seriously, it's like cabbage and cigarette butts.

Jeez, did you have to give him a BJ or something?

ZN also tolerates IU colors and thinks few people hate them, but interestingly thinks Michigan is the most hated team in the land:

But I could never wear Michigan garb. Everyone hates them, hands down. More than Ohio State, more than Wisconsin.

The Michigan blogs agree that PSU and OSU fans are a-holes – surprise!

VB:

Schools whose gear that I really wouldn't want to wear to an away game are those like Ohio State and Penn State, since their fans are generally assholes to visitors, and the favor would likely be returned to me.

M&BN:

They [Penn State] are most certainly not [tolerable]. If you see one, or a pack of them, walk away or try to ignore them. They are not like your Sparty or Buckeye fans who, at least for the most part, have only one brain cell floating around and are very easy to confront and out-wit. Penn State fans are from Pennsylvania. Do you know what else there is to do in Pennsylvania besides watch, live, breathe, eat, drink football? Exactly.

Wow, that’s a shot. Not one I necessarily disagree with, but a shot all the same.

4) I like big butts and I can not lie. Share your embarrassing guilty pleasure music selection that you know other people might laugh at. Bonus points if you can send a YouTube video of an awful music video with it. Many/most of us grew up and/or went to college in the '80s and '90s so I know you've all got some Nelson After The Rain on the iPod.

LTP: Whitesnake. I admit it, I listen to this one, too.
Happy Hour Valley: Cannonball, by the Breeders. Not bad, not bad.
ES: Little River Band.
Paint the Town Orange: Get Busy, Sean Paul. Not old, but yes, terrible.
TOGTM: Poison, baby! Bring me back to middle school dances!
Varsity Blue: Take on Me, by A-Ha. One of my guilty pleasures, too. About died when Family Guy did their take.

Zombie Nation thinks we’re all old:

Unlike those geriatrics, I went to college in the 21st Century. So I'll go with the ridiculous techno music from the early 2000s, like Castles in the Sky, Sandstorm, and Heaven. That shit was orgasmic for us 18-20 year olds.

I guess in the early 2000s, LSD and techno was one way to divert attention from Penn State football.

Maize & Blue Nation: A little GnR. Nicely done. Another one that takes me back to slow-dancing without moving my feet.

The Nittany Line: Abba Gold. Thus taking the award for gayest. Well-done.

G0EL: Enrique Iglesias. Okay, fine, so TNL has competition.

BHGP: Pearl Jam. They’re like the Sum 41 of the ‘90s.


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And that about does it. Thanks for sticking with this long enough to reach the end. For that, you get a cookie. Just remind the next time you see me.

Big Ten Squaretable -- The "You're Full of BS" Edition

Roundtables are so gauche. Square tables are in. Or so my wife tells me. That’s why we had to spend a grand on one for our kitchen. She also tells me I’m HUGE, though, so take that for what it’s worth.

So this week’s Big Ten Blogger Squaretable is hosted by us. And please refer to it by that because if anyone around here knows how to be a square, it’s us. [cymbal crashes; a cough is audible in the audience]

We missed our chance to host last year and clearly letting us drive the bus is never a good idea because we very easily become drunk with power. So enjoy.

1) We're all car guys here at BS. So your task is to assign your own program a vehicle. Is Purdue an all-terrain vehicle like a Jeep or a Hummer? Something befitting a brawny Boilermaker? Is Ohio State a slow, conversion van being passed by Corvettes with USC markings? Is IU a John Deere tractor with a hillbilly riding on it? Get creative and let us know both what your school is if it’s a car as well as assigning a vehicle to as many of the other Big Ten schools as you like. (I’d require you to do them all but I know attention spans are short and counting to 11 is hard.)

2) In Week 1 in the NFL, the New England Patriots learned how precious things can be when Tom Brady had his knee blown out by a former Boilermaker. Let’s say your team wins out from here to the end and is in a BCS bowl game with a chance to do the school and conference proud – what ONE player on your squad would you most likely cry about having his knee blown out in the first quarter? That is, who is truly indispensable?

3) Purdue plays Notre Dame this week and, well, we detest Notre Dame like probably no other program. Let’s say I have the power to force you (maybe you lost a bet to me) to wear another Big Ten school’s colors to an away game for that team. That is, you’re wearing OSU colors to a game being played at Michigan, or something like that. And I’m talking, dorky, head-to-toe… goofy-ass sweatshirts and flat-brimmed, ridiculous-looking hats. If you have to choose, which program would you be able to stomach wearing? (Remember, you’re going to an away game, so people won’t like you and accept you and you’ll be taking this abuse for a school you’re not even affiliated with.) And by the same token, what program could you absolutely not EVER stomach wearing, under any circumstances?

4) I like big butts and I can not lie. Share your embarrassing guilty pleasure music selection that you know other people might laugh at. Bonus points if you can send a YouTube video of an awful music video with it. Many/most of us grew up and/or went to college in the ‘80s and ‘90s so I know you’ve all got some Nelson After The Rain on the iPod.

Post a link to your answers in the comments section or send it to us via email. Deadline is end of Thursday, or before I begin working on the recap on Friday.

Week 2 BTB Roundtable

Well, the world-famous (if your world is kind of small) Big Ten Blogger Roundtables are back for another exciting season. Just like Watching Ellie. This week's is brought to you by the learning-disabled lads at Black Heart Gold Pants Brown Underwear Black Socks Blue Hat Purple Tie. (Oh, their name isn't that long? Oh, okay.)

Anyway, here are our answers. (Oh, what does that picture have to do with and of this? Absolutely nothing. You're welcome.)

1. Week 1's in the books. What surprised you about your team? Are you optimistic? Disappointed? (NOTE: Purdue does not apply here, so these fans must talk about Wake Forest instead)

How come I can’t be disappointed in my team even when it doesn’t play? And isn’t this about the only time Purdue fans are optimistic?

Okay, fine.

I think Wake was quite impressive this weekend – for an ACC team, anyway – and I think they’re a sleeper for a BCS bowl game. Think about it – the ACC is terrible (said in Bill Walton voice) and who else is going to contend there? Wouldn’t it just ruffle the precious SEC’s feathers if one of their two-loss teams doesn’t make the title game and a 0 or 1-loss Wake team does? I mean, while it would honestly be a travesty in some ways, I would somewhat enjoy it. I get so tired of hearing about how powerful the mighty SEC is and how they “beat each other up” and how it’s “so hard to come out unbeaten,” as though it’s easy-peasy-japanesey in the other conferences. And since we’re all tired (most of us anyway) of the ridiculousness of the piss-poor way the college football season ends, I’m once again rooting for a clusterf-ck BCS mess at the end.

(Bet you didn't think we'd actually review Wake.)

2. Beanie Wells' foot is definitely the top story in the conference. What's #2?

Poop is number 2.

Well, there are the obvious candidates for the number 2 story, such as Michigan potentially really being in trouble. Sure, they could catch on to the DickRod system and suddenly be good again, but why would that happen suddenly now? There were whispers that spring ball and all the practices leading up to the first game were worrisome and now it’s come to fruition. Even still, they’ll win 7 games in their sleep. But it does open the door for other Big Ten squads to get into quality bowl games.

So maybe the number 2 story is actually the fact that the Big Ten is up for grabs. Can Wisconsin take it? Will OSU handle their injury issues and keep plugging along? Or will there be a dark horse? It’s probably not Illinois since they gave up 52 (!) on Saturday (sure, I know it’s Mizzou, but really, if you want to be taken seriously you can’t be doing that). So could it be the Boilers? Haha, okay, okay, I know.

3. Admit it: you loathe DickFraudROFL (né Rich Rodriguez), but when Michigan scored that last touchdown, you were rooting for them to make the 2-pt. conversion.

No, not really. I mean, from the sense of wanting the Big Ten to do well, I guess there was a tiny part of me that realized how Michigan (of all teams) has been hurting the Big Ten the most in the last year or so. But no, I was happy to see them lose in their home stadium. Of course, it only reminds us Purdue fans that winning in the Big House is completely possible – just not by a Purdue team.

4. Is this weekend's slate of games actually less interesting than last week's?

I don’t know about that. I think there are some interesting matchups but early-season weekends are usually worthless and full of lopsided blowouts. It’s only been in recent years that teams have begun scheduling early-season matchups that truly test where there team is at that early juncture. Clearly, it’s a gamble because losing might seriously hurt your title aspirations. But on the other hand, winning vaults you way up – look at UCLA over Tennessee. And, truthfully, if you’re going to lose a tough game to a high-quality opponent, we all know you’d rather it happen in week 1 so that the voters have forgotten about it by November.

5. Don't you hate pants?

I do, actually. There’s nothing better than chilling in my underwear (boxers with monkeys or US flags are my favorites). Pants just get in the way of everything. Golf, staying cool, dry humping. What is always the drawback? That’s right – pants.

BTB Roundtable -- Rivalry Edition

(UPDATED 8/5): New proposed IU logo added down below)

Special thanks to Gopher Nation for launching the first Big Ten Blogger Roundtable of the new season. And to think, the Big Ten Bloggers group basically started as a roundtable discussion group and has morphed into.... well, I don't know. A bunch of no-good, do-nothing, slackers who love college football/basketball and make obscene jokes all day.

Anyway, this roundtable focuses on rivalries. Below are our responses. (Well, my responses, anyway. Tim and b-dowd are too busy with "work" and other such nonsense. I am only busy dodging tropical storms.) Enjoy.

1. ESPN's Adam Rittenberg recently ranked the top 5 rivalries in the Big Ten and there were some controversial results (Illinois v Ohio State as #3?). Clearly Ohio State vs. Michigan is the #1 rivalry in the Big Ten, but give me your next three. Your school does not have to be included in this list, but regardless of who you choose defend your picks.

Well, I’m sure OSU and UM is the biggest to OSU and UM fans, but I think other schools might beg to differ. I assume we’re just talking about football here, because clearly this list is very different (and OSU and UM would be lucky to be on it) if we were including basketball.

To answer the question, yes, I guess OSU and UM is the “best” rivalry, although if both schools were having down years I wonder how great it would be. But yes, part of what makes it great is that they rarely do have down years and so often meet with a lot on the line for one or both.

As for the next three after that… well, I think that’s tough because I don’t think most conferences have all that many compelling rivalries. I mean, the ACC is known for basketball and we all know the Duke-UNC rivalry, but after that, who’s the second best? Kind of hard to think of, right?

For the Big Ten, in football, I guess I would agree with Rittenberg that Michigan-MSU is up there, too, since there in genuine hate and condescension in that one. Minny and Wisky is interesting, too, and would be more interesting if Minnesota could ever put together some sustained success. The proximity and long-standing nature of this rivalry is something that makes it almost worthy. Another I’d mention that doesn’t get much press is Illinois-Northwestern. Sure, it’s not some kind of “official” rivalry where they play for some old relic of an item, but again the proximity and cross-town nature of this one makes it on the cusp of legitimacy. Imagine if NW puts together one of their surprise years this year and Illinois can build on last year’s resurgence – suddenly, these two would have reasons to hate one another.

Of course, I’m biased, so I also need to mention one of the longest-standing rivalries in the country, Purdue-Indiana. This one, too, while borne of genuine despising one another, could be perked up even more of one or both schools would make themselves more relevant. When Purdue was climbing the national radar map (there’s a mixed metaphor for you), IU was simply terrible. And now IU is beginning to come out of the doldrums and Purdue is leveled off at mediocrity. If both programs were strong and/or one team came into the rivalry game NEEDING a victory for a magical season to continue, then I think this one would be on the national consciousness.

So will I rank them? Sure, if I must.

1) OSU-UM 2) UM-MSU 3) PUR-IU 4) MIN-WIS

(Also, silly Gopher Nation, Rittenberg has Illinois and OSU at #4, not #3 – equally ridiculous, though.)

2. Obviously winning every game is important and beating really good teams sends a stronger message than beating Minnesota. Assume every team is .500 this year and the outcome of your next two games means nothing outside of pride and a year's worth of bragging rights. Give me the two schools you would want to beat (in order) and why. What makes beating School's A and B significant?

I don’t think I’m alone in saying that the two schools we enjoying beating the most are Notre Dame and IU. And this question seems to be asking that if we had to pick two teams to beat and nothing else mattered (i.e., their strength-of-schedule, ranking, etc.), who would we pick? And this is significant, because in a year where Purdue has a shot at a New Year’s Day bowl, we’d of course want them to beat a one-loss OSU team more than a 6-loss ND team. So we’re talking pure fun of beating an opponent… And for that I say Notre Dame #1, because their arrogance, delusion and obnoxious nature make them more fun to destroy than anyone. And #2 is IU, because they’re IU, they’re in-state, they’re a historical rival (kind of like why the Montagues hated the Capulets or the Jets hated the Shakrs) and, well, crimson and cream is ugly.

3. Take the two teams from above that you claim are your biggest rivals and give me a new mascot for them.

Well, Notre Dame’s should seriously be retired because it’s offensive, obnoxious and stolen. And what should they be? Well, since they play in the depressing burg of South Bend, maybe they should be the Dust Clouds. Or the Notre Dame Fighting Manatees, after their genius coach.

As for IU, Hoosiers is actually kind of stupid already as a mascot because nobody really knows what it is. Locals will tell you a Hoosier is a person from Indiana. Okay, so they’re the Indiana People From Indiana. Hey, presto! There’s a new name. More to the point, you know? And easier to grasp for those with an IU "degree."

4. There are some new rules in college football this year. My favorite is the Big Ten experimental rule which states that after every win this year you get to pluck one player off their roster and bring them back to your campus. Looking at your schedule give me two players you would pluck (assuming a win), why you would take them and what would you do with them?

Is this only from games we think we can win? Or from any team on our schedule?

I’ll say Beanie Wells, for one, so we can tie him to a goalpost and pick on him for going by “Beanie.” Seriously, come on. Second, I’ll go with Jimmy Clausen so we can give him a tour of a school where quarterbacks go to be better quarterbacks. You know, just a service we’d like to provide.

Then we'll give him a wedgie and make him eat pickles until he pukes.

5. Brian at MGO was kind enough to post a diary entry which gives us and new coach Rich Rodriguez a list of Michigan traditions that maybe we were not all aware of. This has inspired two final questions...

5A - are there any Michigan traditions that he missed? (here is your chance for some Michigan cheap shots)

Having spectacular seasons interrupted by hiccups that make them non-contenders. You know, like starting 0-2 and then running off like 8 wins in a row. Oh, and crushing Purdue’s hopes and dreams. That's another tradition at Michigan that they probably didn't even know of.

5B - Are there any traditions of your school's rival that we should all be aware of?

At IU, they have a tradition where when they take the overhead photograph of the stadium for the media guide, they do it during a game against Ohio State or Wisconsin so that the stadium is full of people wearing red. That always makes me chuckle. Because it's so very, very sad.

In addition, thanks to reader Christopher who sent us this awesome new IU logo. Thumbs up!

BS Interview Series -- Jason from Eleven Warriors

[Sitting by a fire, looks up from book, removes pipe]

Welcome back to our latest installment of the BS Interview Series. You're likely saying to yourself, "Yeah, it sure is BS." And to that I say, yes, that joke is well-established. It's a pun we like to use sometimes. We're all about the BS here. And our readers are supporters of the BS. And many are BS artists themselves. But I digress.

Normally, Fridays around here are devoted to boobs. So what better day to share our interview with one of the gentlemen from an OSU blog? (I kid, I kid.) Without further ado, I'd like to thank Jason from the OSU blog Eleven Warriors for joining us for today's discussion. What follows will be hard-hitting, James Lipton-style questions and the answers from a kind chap who is a fan of a program that is beginning to make a habit of humbling everyone else all season and then getting humbled themselves in the title game.

Away we go.

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Boiled Sports: So let me ask right off the start here, what did you guys think of Carson Palmer’s anti-Buckeye comments? Is the guy obligated to tolerate the Bucks or is it fine because he’s never pretended to be anything but a USC guy?

Jason of Eleven Warriors: I honestly kind of liked it. I would be just as amped if I were in his shoes and shudder to think about what I would blurt out in front of a mic, so it's hard to come down on him. I think he made some people angry with the "those fans" and "that coach" comments, but it's not like many dual-fans are going to stop rooting for him or the Bengals. It'll be really fun if USC happens to get beat, though.

BS: Seriously, what’s the deal with the sweatervest?

J,11W: Buckeye fans are blessed to have Ward Beaver patroling the sidelines. I think it's just a reflection of his conservative nature. To him, it's probably just one step shy of throwing on leather pants, so for all we know, he believes he's living on the edge.

I know some opposing fans see him as arrogant, but he's just a guy that prepares hard, works hard and measures every one of his words when speaking. In other words, characteristics I'd love to emulate more.

BS: When you think of Purdue athletics, what do you think of?

J,11W: The first thought is of a school that's usually pretty good in both major sports within conference. There are only a few teams that are doing or have consistently done both sports well -- Ohio State, Wisconsin and Purdue. Illinois could be joining the club soon, but they look to be heading South in hoops.

I think of Joe Tiller, who will always be adored by Buckeye fans for calling Michigan's new coach a snake-oil salesman. I think of Glenn Robinson, who is still to this day the most dominant college player I've ever seen. I also think of Bob Griese and cringe thinking of all of the Ohio State/Michigan games he called while his son was on the field. He could have been talking about the weather and we were calling him out for being biased.

BS: What do you guys say to people who suggest the Big Ten is weak by comparison to other “power” conferences and use OSU’s National Title game losses as evidence?

J, 11W: 2007 was tough because it shouldn't have gone down like that. The Florida win brought out some of our more vocal SEC friends and the web became a tough place for the Buckeyes and the Big Ten. Most Buckeye fans don't sweat the LSU loss. Yes, a win would have been great, but that Tiger team was the best team in the nation -- especially with all of their guys back (namely Ricky-Jean Francois). Ohio State got a shot in that game because other teams failed to take advantage of their chances. Should we apologize for that?

I do think the Big Ten is going through a down cycle. It's not as bad as some are painting it, though, but the SEC has better coaching and the conference championship game is a bonus when prepping their teams for BCS bowl games. Still, the Big Ten matches up well with the PAC 10 and Big 12 and the addition of Rodriguez and the coming schedule extension will help.

Despite all of that, it's not lost on Buckeye fans that if OSU had beaten Florida or LSU, the conference perception wouldn't be what it is (though Michigan did the Big Ten no favors in 2007).

BS: In a paragraph or two, sum up Ohio State fans feelings, expectations and hopes going into 2008.

J, 11W: Fans are cautiously optimistic. If the Buckeyes had won even one of the last two MNC games, we'd be pretty damn insufferable right about now, but because of what happened, we have to just kind of hang low and hope for the best against the Trojans. I think this is the best Buckeye team we've seen in the last decade, but there's still a good bit of worry about heading West on 9/13. If they pull that one off and take care of business in conference, we could easily see another OSU/SEC matchup in the form of Florida or Georgia.

BS: What’s more fun – beating Michigan or seeing them lose to Appalachian State?

J, 11W: I had mixed feelings about the Appalachian State game. On one hand, it was awesome, funny and one of the greatest upsets I've ever seen in my life. On the other hand, you knew that the conference was going to take a hit on it. I want to see the Wolverines undefeated heading into that last game in November every season.

BS: Best moment for you personally as a Buckeyes fan? Worst moment for you as a Buckeyes fan?

J, 11W: The best moment was the last play of the Miami game in '03. Some big runs out of Wells against Michigan the last couple of years rank up there as well. As far as the worst moment, it's a tie between that moment in both the Florida and LSU games when I realized the Buckeye defense couldn't stop the opposing offense.

BS: Do you have a college program other than your true love that you kind of have a guilty pleasure for? For example, despite all the haters, do you have a soft spot another program?

J, 11W: There are a couple of teams I enjoy rooting for. I like watching USC light it up. I like to cheer for the new teams of guys that have been run out of town unjustly, like Willingham at Washington or Solich at Ohio University. I secretly cheer for Spurrier because I think he's funny and he needs to be in the spotlight more often.

Outside of a few teams, who I cheer for normally follows this order: cheering for teams to lose that move the Buckeyes up, rooting for the Big Ten and teams on OSU's schedule to boost that SOS and then it's a toss-up between pulling for an upset and cheering for the team with the coolest uniforms or player names.

BS: Did “Holy Buckeye” cement Tressel’s status as having balls of steel?

J, 11W: What's interesting is that Jenkins wasn't the primary option on that play. Tressel was just trying to get the first down and had to pass because the running game was non-existent that day. It was typical Krenzel -- pedestrian all day until something big at the end.

BS: Most of those of us who write one of these blogsites have a steady list of sites they visit every morning. What are some favorite blogs of yours to read? List as many or as few as you’d like.

J, 11W: All of the big sites like The Wizard of Odds, MGoBlog, EDSBS and SMQ. FanHouse CFB is also a must-read. I'm a huge fan of the Big Ten Blogger feed. I know so much more about other teams in the Big Ten than I did two years ago. A few of my favorite Buckeye blogs are Our Honor Defend, Buckeye Commentary and Dotting the I. Hey Jenny Slater, Get the Picture and Orange and Blue Hue are fantastic SEC blogs. Adam Rittenberg at ESPN is taking food off of our tables, but is great. Loser With Socks is comedy gold and Big Red Network is a fine Nebraska blog.

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Previous subjects of the BS Interview Series:

MGoBlog

Lake The Posts

BS Interview Series -- Brian from MGoBlog

I know you thought this would be yet another series that never got off the ground but, ha! You were wrong! We may be slack-asses but, hey, we're your kind of slack-asses, right? That's why you keep coming back.

So today we're sharing the second of our "Better Know A Blogger" series, featuring the Big Ten blogger network. If you're not aware of the Michigan blog, MGoBlog, well, you just haven't been paying attention. Even OSU fans and blogs respect the work Brian does there and if you spend some time on his site you realize just how much work he must put into it. I asked him if he could share some time with us and he graciously agreed. And I didn't even have to put out.

Enjoy.

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Boiled Sports: Why "MGoBlog"?

Brian, MGoBlog: “MGoBlue” is a common thing to see on bumper stickers or posters or any sort of general what-have-you in the Michigan fan community. The official site is “MGoBlue.com.” It just seemed like a natural decision. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was an inspired choice. It's short, easy to remember, and super-easy to google. I now know why Web 2.0 startups invariably make up a word like “frozzbatozz!”

BS: “Upon Further Review” is brilliant for the true UM football junkie. How long does a “UFR” session take you? And is it your favorite ongoing feature? If not, what is?

B, MGB: I've never really timed it but on the order of several hours, depending on the importance of the game. I don't put much effort into figuring out what goes on in the fourth quarter of the EMU game. It don't know if it's my favorite ongoing feature – game columns are much more fun to write – but it's the most important. Without it I'm just a guy on the internet; with it I'm a guy on the internet who knows more than you about Michigan football.

BS: When you think of Purdue athletics, what do you think of?

B, MGB: Severe underperformance against Michigan, mostly. There have been some close games in the series, but it seems more often than not I'm way more nervous going into the Purdue game than the game itself warrants. Dropped passes, missed field goals, self-destruction of all kinds. It always seems like Purdue is this close to breaking through, but they never do. [Sniffle. We know. -- ed.] Also: life insurance.

BS: As a fan, would you rather see UM go 7-5 and go to a mediocre bowl but beat Ohio State to ruin a perfect season…OR… go 11-1, play in a Jan 1 bowl game but lose that one game to the Buckeyes?

B, MGB: 11-1. Is this seriously a question?

[At this point, I said, "Yes, it's really a question...bitch," then took a swing at him. Brian, to my surprise and ultimate detriment, turns out to be a fesity fighter. After thoroughly bloodying me, he pulled my face out of the urinal he was submerging me in and said, "Okay, NOW, do you want to continue the interview?"]

[Ed. note: The above paragraph is not true.]

BS: In a paragraph or two, sum up Michigan fans feelings, expectations and hopes going into the RichRod era, specifically for 2008.

B, MGB: In 2008? Most feel apprehensive, expect mediocrity, and hope to extend Michigan's nation-best bowl streak. Three returning starters on offense and one bullet each at a number of key positions, mostly QB and the offensive line, means Michigan is an injury or two away from mass chaos.

But Penn State manages to cobble together Alamo Bowl or better season with only the faintest tinge of an offense, and Rich Rodriguez is not Charlie Weis... those expecting a real soul-wrencher a la Notre Dame last year will be disappointed.

BS: Many of us know you shut the site down and had pink colors and kittens up after the Appalachian State game. Will that sting ever go away? Or has it already?

B, MGB: The shutdown was just to turn the comments off. Anyone who has The Horror happen to them and then does anything but not think about football for a few days (or months) needs help; if one person said “f-ck it, let's go bowling” because of it, mission accomplished. The kittens were just an attempt to be funny, because it was either that or spittle, and who needs spittle at a time like that?

But that's pretty much faded. Every coach associated with the loss is gone. It's a new era, a clean break, and that game may have saved us the specter of Mike Debord as the head coach. If Rodriguez pans out, Michigan fans may actually look back on that day as a positive.

BS: Best moment for you personally as a Wolverines fan? Worst moment for you as a Wolverines fan?

B, MGB: Best: walking on the field after the Ohio State game in 1997. Worst: the Horror.

BS: Do you have a college program other than your true love that you kind of have a guilty pleasure for? For example, despite all the haters, do you have a soft spot for Florida football or North Carolina basketball or something like that?

B, MGB: No, I think that sort of thing is reserved for fans of non alpha-dog teams. I've already got the team that can win big and has to win big for me to be happy. Picking another one would be like those guys who were Laker and Yankee fans growing up.

I have proof I'm not that person: when I finally got fed up with the Red Wings due to a combination of excessive payroll, horrible fans (quietest group of corporate lawyers in the NHL) and their constant importing of people I loathed (Chelios was the last straw), I went searching for another team and struck upon the Edmonton Oilers, then a hopeless small-market team getting killed by the Candian dollar and never going anywhere. The US dollars collapse and the CBA have evened things out, but at the time I was signing up for unending pain. This is why I can't get into the EPL, too. I won't pick one of the Big Four, and picking anyone else is pointless.

I do have some secret favorites, but they vary by situation. I think I'm going to be pulling for Georgia Tech over the next few years because I'm a sucker for an oddball system (and it's a dork school). I hated Nebraska when they were unstoppable but now that they're adrift, I feel for their excellent fans. If they go back to the option I will pull for them. And, ironically, I like West Virginia. The team has no talent but plays fast as hell and wins. It had Owen Schmitt on it. And the state is tiny and full of loons who sing 'Country Roads' unironically after games and care so much they'll kill you... what's not to love? They even have nice colors.

BS: In your opinion did Lloyd Carr stay too long? How will he be remembered by the UM faithful?

B, MGB: Carr obviously held on a year or three too long, but I think most Michigan fans will remember him fondly. Despite the disappointing finish to his career, he did have a national title and Michigan had something like the 7th best record in college football over his tenure. His overall record versus OSU was 6-7... not exactly Cooper.

Moreover, I think he just fit with the fanbase. He was cranky but erudite and passionate about college football. He railed against the increasing corporatization of the game. He read serious books. And when Bo died he gave a speech that I'll remember for a long time. I'll always want Michigan to win no matter who the coach is, but I wanted Lloyd to win. That ain't gonna happen with Rodriguez.

BS: Most of those of us who write one of these blogsites have a steady list of sites they visit every morning. What are some favorite blogs of yours to read? List as many or as few as you’d like.

B, MGB: The usual: Sunday Morning Quarterback, EDSBS, Black Heart Gold Pants. Eleven Warriors and Our Honor Defend are the best OSU blogs; Mvictors, Michigan Sports Center, UMHoops, Varsity Blue, and the Blog That Yost Built are go-to Michigan blogs. Hey Jenny Slater, Rocky Top Talk, Burnt Orange Nation... uh... Inside The Hall and Spartans Weblog, PJS and Gopher Nation, Garnet and Black Attack, the Joe Cribbs Car Wash, Get The Picture, Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician... there are literally too many to name. And I have to pour some out for dead homies Big Ten Wonk and RBUAS.

Also, a confession: I read Go Fug Yourself.

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Previous subjects of the BS Interview Series:

Lake the Posts