Showing posts with label gayness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gayness. Show all posts

Monday, June 07, 2010

Pac 10 Commish is Lamar From Revenge of the Nerds?

Hey, boyfriends!!!!!! It's LAMAR!!!

There's something awesome that the Pac10 commissioner has the same name as the guy who played the flamboyantly gay nerd in Boilerdowd's favorite movies, the Revenge of the Nerds franchise.

Yes, I'm completely immature, but picture this guy talking "expansion."

Hey-now!

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But then I did another image search to find the real Larry Scott and I found.... this:



Let's be honest. It's the Pac 10. It wouldn't surprise me if these guys were co-chairs of the conference.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Cleveland Is Gay For Sports

You may or may not have heard, but Cleveland is a front-runner for the Gay Games of 2012.

The other cities considered finalists are Boston and DC.

Events include "swimming, basketball, figure skating and softball, as well as nontraditional events, such beach volleyball and, in a first for the games, rodeo. They would take place downtown and in Akron."

Akron, you may have heard, is famous for making rubber. Just saying.

From the article:

Leading the Cleveland effort are Brian Tavolier and W. Doug Anderson, organizers of North Coast Athletics Volleyball and past Cleveland Pride parades. They flew to South Africa in October to plug Cleveland.

Come on. To "plug Cleveland"?

I'm far to juvenile for you to leave in lines like that.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Brady Quinn Cannot Avoid All This Gay Stuff

You know, if it's not a picture of Brady grabbing a dude's crotch or dressing up like the freaking Village People or being accused of shouting anti-gay slurs, it's the fact that he's featured prominently in an online ad campaign for gay men hookups (findmen4men.com).

According to TMZ, Brady is still officially straight but, then, so is Ricky Martin.

I mean, it doesn't matter to us really if Brady Quinn is gay or not. We'd make fun of him equally either way. But it's weird how often Quinn is in the news for something gay-related.

I can't imagine all this is good for his relationships in the locker room or on the field. I mean, I'm speaking hypothetically, of course. Everybody knows Brady Quinn is rarely on the field.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

How to Beat Tom Brady: Sweep the Leg

So how do you beat the most handsome quarterback on the planet? The guy who has thrown 50 TDs and has guys like Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth to throw to?

Well, like so many times in life, we look the The Karate Kid for answers and wisdom. I mean, honestly, who among us hasn't turned to the higher plane of thinking reserved for old, Asian handymen and the teenager they spend inordinate amounts of time with? I know I, for one, never found anything wrong with Myagi giving Daniel a car for his birthday and rubbing his hands together and then placing them on Daniel's young, nubile body. It was love, people! The purest love that can only be felt between two males separated by fifty years.

Anyway, I digress. While it's been reported that Tom Brady had that walking boot on last week in New York, he's apparently practicing and will be fine for the game on Sunday. But did you see the play that is widely agreed to be the play Handsome Tom was hurt on? It came in the first series of the AFC Championship Game and damn if that didn't look like the very definition of a high ankle sprain. Apparently, a doctor who viewed it for ESPN said he's lucky he didn't break his tibia on the play. And after seeing it, I have to agree. Maybe Brady is a robot. That would explain a lot.

Either way, why are the Giants making any bones about what they should be doing? I don't care how quickly Tom released the ball. I don't care. It takes Moss at least a few seconds to sprint downfield. Put eleven in the box and come hard and fast every single play for the entire first quarter. I don't care if Tom hits his hot reads and has three 80-yard TDs. If you get to him successfully and "sweep the leg," you know what comes next? Matt Cassel.

Matt Cassel can't even wear his helmet correctly, as you can see from this picture. Mainly because Tom Brady is a robot who never misses time. In fact, the Patriots don't even issue Cassel shouder pads. This photo is an actual game photo from the waning seconds of one of the Patriots blowout wins against the Jets. You know what's on Cassel's wrist-thingie there? Directions for him to get home at night. And no, I don't mean like, "Left at Maple Street," I mean like, "put key in ignition; turn clockwise." Good lord, he can't even spell "Castle" correctly. You think this guy could handle the Giants pass rush?

All that's standing in the way of the G-men and the Super Bowl is Tom Brady's ankle. Or his leg. Or, hell, break his throwing arm, I don't care. Just get him off the field. And like I said, I don't care if you have to bring 11-man pressure. What woud you rather face? A full game of Tom Brady picking you apart or being down, say, 21-0 after one quarter but facing Matt Cassel the rest of the way?

That's what I thought. And the way to do that is for the Giants to remember that the Patriots are the Cobra Kai and the Giants are Daniel LaRusso. Weak, little Daniel LaRusso from Jersey... and honestly, how miscast was all of that crap? I'll tell you this, we punk-asses from Jersey aren't afraid of Cali boys, that's for sure. Especially blonde Cali boys. But whatever, I'm digressing again.

Point is, the Giants are from Jersey. Daniel was from Jersey. (Am I turning into the Sports Guy? I will not light myself on fire.) And the best way to take down the Cheatriots is to....

Sweep the leg.

(Jump to the 1:40 mark, for those impatient among you. And if you're too young, well, go away.)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Hi. My name is Jonathan Papelbon and I'm....

Who says you can't be gay and still be a good pitcher?











I like to dance the Irish jig.









I like to bend over.














I also like chicken.





But I don't like this.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Tim, Really, Just Stop Talking

Tim Hardaway is talking again, this time to another complete dunderhead, Scoop Jackson. When I saw the headline about how these two are boys and go way back, I could immediately envision the disaster that could happen. Here's Timmy Hardaway trying desperately to salvage a fragment of his image and he's using the conduit of a complete idiot in Scoop Jackson. Someone who Jason Whitlock and other respected black writers think is a complete tool. Another sound decision, Tim.

And the interview is too good to be true. Tim Hardaway should simply have apologized and disappeared for a while. Or made out with John Amechi. But no, Tim's going to try to explain himself in the interview. Read it for the can't-look-away, car accident nature of it.

Some highlights:

"And that's what it was, a hate crime on my part. But I was never brought up to hate anybody, you know that. But that's just the word and that's how we used it. You know when we got a whopping we'd be like, "I hate my moms" or "I hate my dad," and at the time you really didn't hate them, but that was the word you used. You know I can go into a restaurant and say, "I hate this food, I hate the chef, I don't even know why I came back to this restaurant." But I know I can't use the word like that, or let's say I'm not supposed to. People have come up to me and told me, "Tim, you can't say that you hate gay people because it's not the same term." But that's how I talk. That's the way I am."

Yes, Tim, you can't say "hate" because it can mean different things and thus be seen as a "hate" crime. I know this is flabbergasting to you. But that's because you're a "douchebag," but I mean douchebag in the playful sense, not the real mean sense. You know?

"When I listened to the interview it really sounded like I meant what I said, like I meant that I hate gay people. I was thinking that I was talking to somebody else and not really knowing what it was I was saying. Did I forget I was on the radio? To tell you the truth, at the time I was talking, yes. I've known Dan for a long time and we're real cool and we were just having fun on the radio."

Oh, gotcha. So it's okay if you say it in private to someone? Glad you're clearing things up, Tim. Closeted homophobia and hatred is much more acceptable.

"I still don't accept their lifestyle... You know, we were brought up to not even condone or associate yourself with a gay person. If you knew of a gay person, disassociate yourself with them. I just get away from it. I just walk away. I see it, I just go the other way, cross the street."

Yes, clearly you were misinterpreted, Tim. It's very obvious that we all got you wrong. You're not a homophobe or a hatemonger at all. Let me ask you this, though: what if we simply replaced "gay" with "black" in that sentence? Just sayin', just keepin' it real, dog.

"When we was growing up Scoop, if we saw gay people or whatever, we ran across the street. We got away from them. Our parents, our friends, our families knew that that wasn't right. We didn't want to be around that and they definitely didn't want us kids around it. And it's not that they hated gay people, they just felt they it wasn't right. Let them do what they want to do. And that was my experience when I was growing up. Not acknowledging them. Now did something happen to me? No. But I did have a friend that something happened to him in a Catholic school, but that is another can of worms that it's not my place to open because it's not my life. But to answer your question, "No." Nothing happened to me. I just don't condone [being gay]. When I see gay people holding hands or kissing in the streets, I just don't think that's right."

No, we don't hate them. We just don't think it's right and we run across the street. And then Tim goes into the classic, "I have a friend who had something happen to him..." routine. Yeah, Tim, I feel ya. I was half-waiting for his last line here to continue with "...and I throw rocks at them."

"If a guy, like they say, is in the closet and decides to come out of the closet years down the line, you feel that your friendship, him being a teammate, being a part of a team, which in a lot of ways is like being part of a family or fraternity, has been betrayed. You feel like you've been double-crossed. We were in battles together, we were in the trenches together, how could you not tell me?"

Because you're clearly not ready.

"I have a friend who was on a team with a gay person and that person was his roommate and his teammate came out of the closet after they had been roommates. And my friend told me that he's the one who felt violated.

Interesting choice of words.

"He told me that he hates him now. He said if the dude had come to him before and told him this, maybe it could have been worked out, easier to accept. It's a trust issue."

Speaking of trust issues, how is a gay person supposed to trust that you're not going to go nuclear on him if he comes out ahead of time when this is the reaction you give when simply asked about the issue of homosexuality? He told you he hates him now? Didn't we already talk about that word, Timmy?

They were on the same team and roommates for four years and then two or three years after he left he came out and said, 'Hey, I'm gay. I'm bisexual.' I don't know how to even deal with that."

That's just it, Tim. You don't know how to deal with it so you act like a bigot. Nicely done.

When asked what he has to learn about gay people: "Right now, learning. Learning that gay people are really no different than a lot of other people. Learning that they work hard, they do things in the community, they are responsible for building parks, rec centers, providing safe environments for kids, just things I had never associated with them before. [This last week] has opened up my eyes to the gay population and what they do. I'm getting a lot of knowledge about them that I didn't have. Which is going to make me a better person. And if it doesn't, then I'm a damn fool."

That's going to be hard when you're running to the other side of the street, Tim. Maybe you can admire their parks and rec centers from the opposite sidewalk.

Then he is asked if he's going to accept the lifestyle and he gives this nugget: "No. I'm opening myself up to get a better understanding of who they are, but I still don't condone what they do. I don't want to be a part of it and I still don't want to be around it."

Do you suppose Tim is just stupid enough that he thinks that accepting a lifestyle means that he is part of that lifestyle? Timmy, you don't have to hate gay people to prove that you're not gay.

Let me just say for the record that I'm not a fan of gayness myself. However, I don't feel the need to publicly gay-bash to ensure that I'm hetero. I understand Tim's point that he doesn't like the lifestyle -- I guess I don't, either. But you can't be hateful simply because they're different from you, no matter how much you disagree with their way of life. Isn't this a basic tenet of being an American?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine Overtures From Pat Forde

Oh, Pat Forde, you coy little vamp! There you go being all clever and cute, writing a column about college basketball with a Valentine's Day theme! The idea behind the column was those little Valentine's candy hearts with the messages on them. How nifty!
Oh, wait. You wrote under the heading "MISS YOU" the following men: Coach K, Jim Calhoun, Bob Knight, Jim Boeheim, Tom Izzo. That's kind of gay. But whatever. Let's move on.
You then had a heading called "UR GREAT." Uh-oh. And the first line under it is "Players The Minutes has a man-crush on this month." Egad.
But it gets worse! The next label is "YES OR NO?" Are you propositioning these young men, Pat? I think Dateline: To Catch A Predator might want to start hanging around Bristol.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take, Pat. What's the next section of Valentine heart cuteness?
"HOT STUFF."
Hoo-boy. Among those listed under this section is Howie Dickenmen of Central Connecticut State. Please, Pat, please tell me you don't prank call poor Howie and asked, "Hey, have you ever had your dick-in-men?" before giggling unconrollably and hanging up.
What's amusing here is that after all of these sections, Forde adds one called "HOT-T," perhaps in an effort to balance things out, with one line under it: "That would be Minutes Girl Ashley Judd, a regrettable no-show in Rupp Arena Saturday night for Kentucky-Florida."
Could only muster up 19 words for chicks on Valentine's Day, eh Forde?