Another Roger Clemens Cingular Commercial

Everybody loved the original Cingular commercial with Roger and Debbie Clemens last year (just one year ago, amazingly). And hey, if you watch the video closely, you can see the guy on the right in the background start making a jerk-off gesture right when Roger says "I'm back, guys!" I have to believe that was done to be funny and wasn't expected to make the final cut.

Anyway, we then unearthed another version and shared it with you. And now Roger and Debbie are back.








[Roger on Phone]

Hey honey! I’m out on the golf course with the guys, and it reminded me of when we filmed that funny commercial about me coming out of retirement. Wasn’t that fun? I remember it like it was just last year.









[Debbie on phone]

Are you kidding? It was last year, you stupid meathead.








[Roger on Phone]

Whoa, take it easy, Deb. What’s gotten into you?









[Debbie on Phone]

Well, there’s someone here you need to talk to. I’ll videoconference her in.










[busted Mindy McCready]

[smokey, gravelly voice] Hey, Rog. Remembah me?









[Roger on Phone]

Gah! Who the hell are you??









[Debbie on Phone]

She says you two had an affair starting when she was 15, you prick.








[Roger on Phone]

What?? Seriously? Hon, ah mean, come on! Look at her! I’m not sayin’ I wouldn’t cheat – I’m a ballplayer after all…








[Debbie on Phone]

You used to be, anyway.








[Roger on Phone]

…but come on, do you think I would cheat with…with…with THAT mess?











[busted Mindy McCready]

Rog, maybe you don’t remember me, but this is what I used to look like:

[texts pictures of hot McCready to Roger]














[Roger on Phone]

Oh, hells yeah! I’d hit that! Rocket power hour, baby!








[Debbie on Phone]

What was that?









[Roger on Phone]

What? Nothing. Who is this?

[call drops]









[Debbie on Phone]

What did you just say? So you DID do her? G-ddammit, Roger!! I’m pissed now! Do you hear me? I’ve just knocked over some flowers in the kitchen to illustrate my point! And you know how much I hate knocking things over Roger!












[Mindy McCready mug shot]

[smokey, gravelly voice] Anybody got a ciggy?

Roger Clemens Saga -- All Because of a Dropped Call

We've all seen the Roger Clemens Cingular commercial with his rather hot wife from last year, where it appears Roger's call is dropped and he can't hear his wife angrily opposing his latest comeback with the Yankees. But what did we not hear?

All commercials are shot with lots of dialogue that is eventually edited out. Here at Boiled Sports, we were able to obtain some previously unreleased transcripts of that commercial. Read on...



Roger: "Hey, honey, I'm here with Rusty Harden and some other guy we met on the course and we were talking about 'roids and HGH and whatever those horse suppositories were that Mac jammed up my ass all those times. Anyway, Rusty and this dude we just met both think I can just deny any of it ever happened because, hey, I'm Roger Clemens and who's going to believe someone else over me?"


Debbie: "Are you kidding?"

Roger: "Just say the word 'no,' and I won't listen to them. Just say 'no' and I won't come back to the Yankees and risk being called out on this... Just say 'no' and I won't do it. I won't basically tarnish everything I've ever accomplished by lying as though the whole bullshit clubhouse code applies to the real world. What could go wrong, right?"

[call drops]

Debbie: "Roger! No! No!! Do you hear me? What are you, f-cking retarded? MacNamee is a slimy character who you told me yourself you didn't trust. He probably saved evidence of all that shit! If you deny everything and make a big production of it, you could end up being in front of Congress when they call your bluff... and if you lie THERE, you could go to jail! Do you realize this? NOOOOOOO!!"

Roger: "You know, just say the word and I won't do it... I won't come back to play or even think about being arrogantly defiant about my PED use. But if you're cool with it, I also have a backup plan if this ever blew up in my face. I'll just tell them that he injected YOUR fine ass with HGH. We'll just say it was so you looked more buff when we did that SI shoot. Remember? Man, we had wild sex that day... I wonder if those photographers were telling the truth when they said they had no film in their camera while we were doin' it. I know you said we should wait until we got home but I just had to have you. Wait, where was I? Oh, right... just say no if you don't want me to head down this path... I mean, I just won't... if you tell me not to, I won't do it. That's all you gotta say..."

Debbie: "ROGER! Can you hear me! No! No! NOOOO! A thousand times no! Roger! Andy knows, too, remember? Who knows who else he told? What if they ask HIM about it? And Andy's wife knows, too! Oh, God, Roger! Andy's busted wife and I talk about that all the time! And you know how God-fearing Andy and his wife are! They'll tell the truth for sure! And that will sink you totally! So if all I have to do is say 'no,' then consider me saying 'NO F-CKING WAY'!! In fact, I just knocked over some flowers in the kitchen to illustrate my point! You know how much I hate knocking things over, Roger!! Roger! Roger!!!!"

Roger [hearing nothing]: "Okay, great.... hey, guys, I'm back and we're on for the plan! If anything goes wrong, my wife is on board with me just doing the sticking-my-fingers-in-my-ears-and-screaming-na-na-na-na-na routine! In fact, she's so happy, she's speechless!"

Now you know the whole story. Debbie knew what might happen. If only Roger used Cingular. Because, you know, AT&T's network never drops calls.