Yes, They're That Good

I've chronicled my difficulty with watching basketball this year.  EsPN's waffling lovefest between Duke and IU is enough to make any self-respecting fan have thoughts of never watching a sport they love again.  That atop of Purdue's on-going problems has made this season tough to swallow.  Last night though, I embraced all of it.

The sycophantic rantings of Vitale, the awkward holding of Magic Johnson by the same character of a psuedo-expert, nervous sweating and pacing of an overhyped coach, demonstrative whining of another, unlikable thugs on one side, overly-dramatic posing on the other...this game had plenty not to like.  But, it also was centered around two very good basketball teams so I watched much of it with the volume up (that part wasn't easy).

There are two things honest Purdue fans can appreciate- First, yes, IU looks like the best team in the nation right now.  Their offense, talent and cohesiveness are impressive. Oladipo is a truly great college player that has a quicker first step than about anyone in the nation and is a tremendous defender...plus he's simply clutch. Zeller is a force; when IU needs a stop, rebound or bucket, he generally delivers.  Around those two NBA players, everyone knows their role...Farrell is a star in the making, the girl shot guy can bomb if not guarded and Watford reminds me of Robert Horry (also clutch and steady).

Purdue fans who don't believe IU is the favorite to win the national title are in denial.  They're damned good...and if it wasn't for their fanbase, nervous BSing coach and their uniforms, they'd be a ton of fun to watch...but you can't have one thing without the other right now, so things are what they are.

The Forehead is a tremendous recruiter and great motivator.  He has that team pointed the same (and correct, by the way) direction.  They rightfully have their sites set on a national title.

If you're like my BS counterpart, you might be confident that Crean's in-game nonsense will doom IU...right now, I'm not so confident about that.  Bad in-game coaches have won national titles before...when the right guy gets hot at the right time (i.e. Oladipo) and he's surrounded by players who know their role, good things happen for that team.  Plus, the formula of having two or three NBA players seems to be alive and well for IU.

I'm rooting against this with everything and hoping we're watching IU peak in February...which as we know too well, isn't really worth much at the end of the season.

It's easy to argue with IU fans about the silliness and absurdity of Sweet 16 rings and a coach that parades around the concourse following a win over a barely-ranked team.  It's pretty impossible to argue the validity of a national title...especially one in the debater's lifetime.

Sure, IU fans will continue to ignore the head-to-head count or B1G titles...but I bet most of you feel like I do and would trade about any of Purdue's records for a national title in the modern era.

The scenario we're in stinks...the best we can hope for right now is that IU poops the bed in the tourney and pretty much everybody leaves town.  Half of that scenario doesn't seem likely to me right now...the other half would hardly be salve in the wound.

Ever Grateful, Ever True

I feel bad for my son sometimes...especially on mornings like yesterday.  He's been a Purdue fan since before he can remember, and that's my fault, not his choice.  He's been going to Black/Gold games in the spring, football games in the fall and basketball games in the winter since he was in a Baby Bjorn (you younger people might not know or care what that is, but it's the baby carrier that acts like a kangaroo pouch and makes self-respecting fathers and mothers look like tools; yes, I wore one).

I was getting him ready to brave the cold Thursday morning and told him it was gonna be tough...he said, "I know."

I told him not to get defensive, just state the facts- Purdue played poorly...horribly, actually...and tell them that IU is very good this year, Purdue just isn't. It typically disarms people and diffuses the situation, but not always, as many of you know.

There are people out there who might be in my son's class...they're jerks because their Dads are jerks.  Heck, some would say my son's Dad is a jerk, and at times they're correct.  But, I don't taunt people, even after a big win. Wearing a Purdue hat the day after Purdue beats IU and not saying a thing is enough.  One of my son's best friends is from an IU family...I'm sure he had an IU hat on yesterday; I hope he didn't make an ass out of himself with his mouth...he was already dressed kinda stupid (I kid, I kid).

I made the decision to be a Boilermaker, officially anyway, back in 1992 when I decided to go to school in God's country.  I loved going to school at Purdue.  I was enrolled at Miami of Ohio to study architecture...but after I visited the place, this time as a perspective student, that I had visited 1,000 times as a fan, I knew where I should spend my next four years. It was a great decision.

J caused a dust-up Wednesday night on Twitter by saying Purdue fans and IU fans have one thing and common- neither went to IU. And while he was half-joking, the half of him that wasn't joking knew the people he was talking about.

There are great things about success between the lines- gameday atmosphere is appreciably better, it's always more fun to actually be covered by the national sports media, beating rivals allows you to walk around those people with your head held a bit higher...all good stuff.  But, the underbelly of success is it attracts people that view the team as mere entertainment, not part of a university.

Extreme cases of this include PSU fans turning a blind eye to Paterno's problems, or not caring about aOSU players getting paid cars or tattoos...Lesser cases include people saying IU only broke small rules and shouldn't have been punished after getting in bed with a known cheater.  Doesn't matter; all those people are maroons.

The idealist part of me hopes that people respect their alma mater enough to want it to look respectable...Sure, alums want to see winning teams, but I hope they want to see winning done the right way.

Back when I was in college, Glenn Robinson's popularity and success attracted a whole new type of fan.  Purdue was actually popular simply because Robinson was undeniably good.  His popularity led to Purdue gear being sold in national outlets. Eastbay started carrying Purdue gear...and this was before Purdue had Nike uniforms- the national market wanted a piece of Purdue basketball; really just loved Glenn Robinson.

That's all well and good; always nice to have more fans. But, one day, I was watching the news and saw a guy getting arrested for multiple homicides in Chicago...wearing a Big Dog jersey and Purdue hat (kids today would call it an old school snapback);  That display was probably not the best representation of the Purdue brand.

Indeed, not all publicity is good publicity- For instance, getting your ass handed to you and EsPN's heads snickering about it isn't ever good...and not all fans are good fans; especially those who love hopping on and off the bandwagon...IU has a glut of those.

Switching from UND football to IU basketball is a badge of honor for many people from Indiana...We all see it as a punchline.  It makes no sense to use how someone can remove the school portion of college sports and just see IU's basketball as mere entertainment and switch gears to UND football...but tens of thousands do without a second thought.

Typically Purdue fans are a step away from the university; Dad, brother, Mom or sister went to the greatest university in all the land  OR they went there themselves. It's not that the Purdue family doesn't want fans that didn't go to school there, but if you don't have a connection to God's country, it's not always easy to be a Purdue fan...and it's hardly ever popular. Heck, it's so unpopular that the biggest paper in Indiana doesn't even have Purdue dedicated coverage; they farm it out to their sister paper.

More recently, the national media (read this time as EsPN's Dana O'Neil) chose to simply ignore Purdue when speaking of the rich history of basketball in the state of Indiana.  One of our readers, Chris, took umbrage with this and wrote EsPN to point out their error:

Dana,

I grew up in California, and now live in Oregon, but for 20 years I lived in Indiana. Never have I seen a more hyped up fan-base for grade school, high school, AAU, and college basketball. My daughter played up through high school, and sometimes the overenthusiasm actually bothered me. I’ve been to a standing room only gym to watch Greg Oden take on Jajuan Johnson in 2007, and see Johnson take on Eric Gordon in Hinkle the same year. So, it was nice to see this recognized.

However, I have to say that I was very disappointed in your article by the time I reached the end. In a 4400 word article on the history of Indiana basketball, it had to have been intentional to leave out the following team:

· Most Big Ten victories all time

· Tied for most Big Ten Titles

· 2^nd and 3^rd most winningest coaches in Big Ten history

· Has a winning record vs all other Big Ten teams except one

· Has a 112-86 all time record vs IU

· Has a 37-17 all time record vs Butler

Yes, I am telling you that leaving Purdue out was a basketball crime. The same Purdue that was rated 7^th (I think) in ESPN’s all time rankings. I can already hear your come back: “But IU is #3 and Butler is #10, where is Purdue? Purdue isn’t relevant right now.”

To that I say, two years ago Purdue had a consensus 1^st team AA in Jajuan Johnson, and was ranked #3 just three years ago, but I never saw an article on ESPN even close to this. The bias at ESPN is amazing.

Your historical article would have had a nice pop to it if it was mentioned that 28% of Big Ten titles had come from the state. Instead, the word Purdue was mentioned 4 times, twice derisively, once in a quote by Dakich, and once more when you almost had to when talking about John Wooden’s career.

It’s ironic to write this after Purdue got destroyed last night, but for you to write an article on the history of Indiana basketball and not include Purdue was very short sighted on your part.

-Chris (name withheld here)

Purdue Grad 1995

Did you catch that? Chris is still fighting for our school's honor in the wake of the worst home defeat ever...because in spite of that awful game, he's still proud of Purdue; as he should be...he even gives facts to why he feels that way.

If you're a Purdue fan, you're probably a bit like Chris and the BS staff- you probably have a chip on your shoulder...maybe it's treatment like this that made you that way or maybe Purdue attract fighters and individuals who just like going against the grain.  Whatever it is, we are what we are.  Outsiders see Pete as an ugly mascot, I think Boilermakers see the idea of an ironworker as emblematic of the no-nonsense, kinda pissed off group that we are.

Times are tough right now...football has been mediocre for what seems like forever (but our squad still beats the crap out of IU regularly), and is now in transition and the basketball program is in the midst of a painful overhaul.  And that IU game was horribly painful...no doubt about it. But if you're anything like me, you haven't given up the ship...not even close.

Better things are coming soon- I love Darrell Hazell as Purdue's new football coach, and still think Painter is the right guy to be leading the basketball program.

But even if both were to fail miserably, I'd still be a Boilermaker. Nothing changes that I loved my time on campus and feel that Purdue has helped shape me in more ways than just preparing me for my professional life.  When Purdue loses, I still wear my gear.  Sure, I was embarrassed by what transpired at Mackey on Wednesday night...but I'm not embarrassed by my alma mater.

Ever grateful, ever true.

Big Journalism is as Dead as Te'o's...Reputation.

I read this today...and learned A LOT!

I learned that some people are so willing to save face, that they'll hire silly-expensive lawyers and PR firms instead of simply coming clean.

According to quotes from last night's interview, Manti Te'o "tailored" and "catered" his story in order to deceive his parents and friends...Ummmmmmkay.

Good enough for me-

Now he's confirmed that he compounded lies for three years in order to get those he cared about most on board with the original scam hoax victimization...But we're supposed to believe that now he is telling the truth because Schaap says he seemed honest...and Swarbrick vouched for him.

At this point, he's either completely fooled himself into believing his own saccharin-sweet story OR his years of practice at lying has trained him to lie all the time in a convincing manner.

The fact that EsPN passes this interview as journalism is funny.  We don't know all of the stipulations that Schaap had to agree to to get this exclusive...we do know that Te'o refused to let the interview happen on video.  It could be because he's too embarrassed to go in front of the camera...Well, that's not true, he allowed photographers and tape recordings.  He also had a team of handlers with him and his lawyer at the table during this "some holds barred" interview.

So just to review some of the finer points-
-UND finds out that Kekua isn't dead in early December...tells no one but their crack private investigation team.
-Te'o continues to perpetuate the lie with the media during awards shows and bowl prep after finding out the real truth...(for Mr. Schaap- he was pretty convincing at that point too!)
-The story blew up earlier this week, thanks to Deadspin.com's real investigation. UND's Swarbrick defended Te'o and cried...Te'o stayed silent.
-TMZ reports that Tuiasosopo has given a tear-filled confession that Te'o had nothing to do with it.
-A paper in Hawaii reports they've been contacted by Kekua who said she faked her death in order to evade drug dealers threats (she also told Te'o the same story in early December).  Now that's where the story gets ridiculous- Te'o said she was a beautiful, bilingual Stanford grad who was a great person...but she had drug dealers after her?

No matter...all of this is an exercise is misinformation and blind trust.

Te'o's interview took place at a training facility for pro-athletes-to-be called IMG Academy.  Ironic, no? This whole thing is about image.

Te'o repeatedly via taped interviews and released statements calls himself the victim of a cruel hoax...But, I'm pretty sure he could press charges or at least sue the crap out of Tuiasosopo and company if he really felt wronged. When the courts get involved, we'll see Te'o's phone records that showed him amassing thousands of hours on the phone with the "love of his life"...we'll find out about the four or five people that he knew, by the way, who perpetuated this elaborate all-consuming hoax for YEARS.

Seriously, if I see the phone records and find out that Te'o has sued or press charges on Tuiasosopo, my perspective will change- Te'o will be downgraded from an perpetrator of a hoax to a small time delusional liar.

The good news for me, like most of you, is that I didn't care about his sappy human interest story until I read about it via Deadspin.

As my brother said, the initial reports of Te'o's fall sounded like the life of Job...and no person should have to go through losing two of their loved ones in mere days.  But, with the exception of Te'o's Grandmother's death, we now know Kekua and her made-up death is a myth like the Gipper or Weis' schematic advantage (that got Te'o to commit to UND, by the way).

In spite of Schaap's awesome and revealing interview, there are still too many holes in the story to believe anything...other than we've all been lied to, A LOT.

Am I the only one who loves the irony of this sub-title??

Don't expect much B1G love this weekend.

J and I aren't fans of much of Purdue's conference.

It's fun to see these guys lose.

I won't be rooting for Penn State as long as their fans continue to worship at JoePa's altar.  aOSu, while not as bad as PSU, has a history of cheating and skirting rules...they rectified the situation by hiring the squeaky clean Urban Meyer.  On top of that, no one likes their fans...but people in their fan base.  Same goes for Wisconsin...and their head coach is a classless jerk who strives to be known as that. And IU, in spite of being completely unimportant, is still IU.

Outside of those four, the rest of the league is OK, I guess- we kinda like Fitzgerald, Dantonio and Hoke.  Sure, Pelini seems to be a surly, foul-mouthed jerk...but we still don't know enough about the 'Huskers to make a call...Minnesota is pretty harmless and the same goes for Illinois. And while Iowa is our most hated rival, we find their fans to be pretty fun to interact with.

As conference loyalty goes, I guess we don't have much of it...especially early in the season. Every time I choose to root for a team like Michigan, something like this happens.

We get a hard time on Twitter for not pulling for the B1G...and we really don't care.  The media (read as EsPN) doesn't like the conference...because they have vested interest in the SEC. Nothing changes that.  Our wanting to see Ohio beat PSU surely isn't going to change a damned thing.  But, days like today don't help the conference at all.

-The good guys, aOSU, Nebraska, MSU and Illinois all handled their business today.  The rest of the conference didn't fair well.

So I should be sad to see these guys lose?

-UM's shellacking at the hands of Alabama looks pretty horrible.

-Watching PSU get worn down by Ohio in Happy Valley was as bad as it seems.

I'll admit I almost like these Wisconsin fans.

-IU struggling with the mighty Sycamores of Indiana State and Wisconsin doing the same v. Northern Iowa might hurt more than about anything, short of losing to an FCS foe.

-Northwestern nearly giving away a game to a bad Big East team won't be received well by anybody...even those who choose to wear purple on the weekends. The same can be said about Iowa's squeaker over Northern Illinois.

Are our fellow Purdue fans angry at us not rooting for Wisconsin and others because they believe our opinion might change top-25 voters' opinions? Sure, BS is a powerful website...no doubt about that, but we don't affect polls too much.

And speaking of polls, when was the last season a BCS poll had our alma mater even mentioned in it? I'm not saying it's impossible, but it surely shouldn't be a big concern or worry for any us at this point.  When Hope elevates the program to the point in which Purdue is in the conversation, we'll probably change the way we think about and view the rest of the conference...until then, we are who we are, and some fanbases, teams and coaches don't deserve or receive any love.

It might be best for teams to just win and not play like IU did v. ISU...things generally work themselves out when that happens.

Fact Checking is Fun!

So we weren't the only ones who noticed that Purdue's preview on EsPNU was chocked-full of errors...To prove the point, here's the story as it aired:


And click here for the re-taped, fact-checked interwebnet version.

I should get paid more for my awesome fact-checking skeeeeelz.

What EsPN Taught Me Yesterday

It's pretty well documented that we don't like EsPN when it pretends to be a journalistic entity.  Sure, they study up on the SEC for football and ACC for basketball, because they have vested interest in those conferences.  But, outside of Urban Meyer being aOSU's head man, there aren't too many storylines that interest the folks in Bristol about the nation's oldest conference.  Furthermore, when a football team from that conference is a middling to lower-third team, they don't care at all.

Purdue's not sexy...we get that.  BUT, if a network is going to spend four minutes on a preview on a BCS conference team...and that network claims to be a sports-related outlet, there should be some show prep that took longer to research than the final piece itself.  Clearly, on EsPN's "College Football Today" show prep is asking around the office and glancing at a Google search.

Adam Rittenberg is pretty good at his job...and he works for the crappiest sports network in all the land- he's what people inside of the EsPN family should call an expert.  Rittenberg knows quite a bit about what's going on inside Purdue football...because he reads up, interviews and prepares for the articles he writes.  Someone at EsPN's TV studios should give Rittenberg's card to David Pollack; the braintrust behind yesterday's Purdue season preview.

Reportering is hard.

Here are some things that the Entertainment Network told me about Purdue yesterday that I never knew.

-First, Robert Marve transferred from the University of Michigan to West Lafayette.  Sweet.  The poor guy probably has to pay his own tuition.  B1G fans know that intra-conference transfers are strongly discouraged by the league...so much that you don't get a schollie when you decide to make such a move (unless it's '12 and you're leaving PSU).  Sure it happens- UM's Boren transferred to aOSU after he found out that Rodriguez was an asshat...but it's not normal.  And while UM does stand for University of Michigan, Marve's former school was the University of Miami, Einstein.

-Second, Purdue never beats aOSU.

Actually, they've done so twice in the past three seasons...and thrice in the last six times they've played...but who's counting (not David Pollack).

Why not post a photo of Steele?

One of our favorites, Erin Andrews' replacement at the network, Samantha Steele, told me that it took two overtimes for the Boilers to beat the nuts in '11...And while I'm known to blackout from time to time in stressful situations, I'm pretty sure I only saw one OT last season at RA...but her error is much less egregious than Pollack's multiple boners on the air.

-Lastly, and most-glaringly, Purdue has secretly added MSU and Nebraska to the '12 schedule...all to be played in the last three games of the season.

This is big news to me...and I'm surprised that the B1G, any Purdue outlet and the Purdue Athletic Department itself has decided to keep this so hush.  Hell, even guys who are really in the know like J Money and TMill haven't let me in on this news...Jerks.

Regardless, I hope Purdue gets another homegame out of the deal...it'd be tough to play two more surprise road games...Dammit, I hope the coaches and players know.

Thanks to David Pollack, and his employer for never letting us down.  While our expectations are low, you guys always find a way outdo yourselves.  Schleps.

T-Minus :5 minutes 'til airtime

It's Gameday in God's country. A band of buffoons have ascended upon Mackey for a long-overdue taping of the poor derivative of a football franchise that is pretty amazing. Sure, the basketball version isn't horrible, but it's pretty tough to replicate football Saturday in an arena. Plus, this crew has Digger...so they're destined for failure.

That said, I'm glad they're in West Lafayette because every little bit of pub The Forces of Good can get, the better off they should be come March. We've received a few photos of what's been happening on campus and here's a look (thanks to everyone, specifically our pal Devon, who's sent these...please send more! We really need some up close shots of Ms. Andrews, by the way.)

Purdue's admin (probably wisely) wouldn't let the students camp last night due to the cold. I'm usually not a proponent of regulation for things that generate spirit before a big game...But the sub-zero temps, ice-cold concrete, wide-open spaces and nothing but nylon shells for protection from the wind is a bad combo. All that said, keep up the great work, Paint Crew.

We've been asked if we'd be there in Mackey for the big event. Sadly, my tickets fell through for the game, so I'm not going to be on campus. But really, this day is for the students. The Gameday atmosphere is ultimately a showcase of painted faces and boundless energy that old guys like J can't sustain for hours at a time. I'm excited to see you guys relentlessly giving Digger Hell.

By the way, when I was in college, I never would have foreseen a situation in which I would have welcomed Bobby Knight into Mackey with open arms. But, once again, I think Knight is one of the true gems of EsPN's basketball coverage team.

Notes

-In case you haven't seen it, Purdue will have a Pro Combat uniform next football season:

I don't like everything about it, but I like that it's not completely goofy like many of the Pro Combat offerings. I'm not a big fan of the numbers, but I like the color tie-in with the current basketball unis...hopefully the names on the back will be gold outline too.

-We've heard the rumor for a while that Purdue has silver uniforms that they might wear for a big game this basketball season. But, I'm beginning to think these may go the way of the golds last season, and not see the light of day...If they're not unveiled today. Guess we'll see in 10 hours.

Hey Andy Katz, let's talk for a moment...

Earlier today, a couple people told us about you (Andy Katz) giving Purdue some credit for its early season performance...We had to look it up ourselves. Here it is.

First off, I think its good that you were able to admit you were wrong- hats off, Andy for doing so. Many others in your profession haven't done so, nor will they do so about our Boilers. Fox's Goodman and others come to mind.

But an experts like yourself, Mr. Katz supposedly watch a lot of basketball. Now, if you've watched Purdue since Painter took over, you knew that his system (and its success) is based first and foremost on defense. You also knew that two of the best defenders in America (Johnson and Moore) were returning along with Jackson who is an amazing on-ball defender, and Byrd and Barlow who showed signs of being great defenders last season...and have been rock solid defensively this season. Hummel's loss hurt and continues to smart. But, his loss wasn't worth a 20-spot drop in the polls like you and others. All of you media types could have avoided embarrassment and this very situation had you simply looked at the facts instead of working yourselves up into a froth when Rob went down.

There are plenty of one-man teams in America. EVERYONE knew Purdue wasn't that, yet everyone treated Purdue like they were nothing without Hummel. From the coach down to the fans, everyone misses number four. But, not one member of the team expected a significant drop off in the quality of play because the system doesn't change, and the guys on the roster know their role within it.

Katz, you and the rest of the national media has left Purdue for dead...Twice actually, in the last 9 months. They're far from dead- ask Beilein and Co. at Michigan. In fact, they're getting into rhythm...and the third-leading scorer on the roster hasn't been playing for four weeks. So, while I as a person appreciate anytime someone admits they are wrong and means it, as a fan, I don't really want to hear it. Your employer has helped create a monster- a machine that is based on large, flippant, asinine statements and opinion-laced pseudo-journalism that strives to get attention first, entertain second and get research last.

I'm glad the BTN exists and EsPN is no longer the only game in town. It forces people like you to have some culpability...but not enough, in my opinion.

So thanks...but no thanks.

Boilermakers Vs Austin Peay Tonight Inside Your Computer

Sometime, deep into the future, when technology allows us to dream the impossible dream.... college basketball will be shown on television.

It may not be all games, mind you. No, but a top ten program will actually be able to have all of their games on the glowing tube we call television.

I know, I know... I sound like a crazy person, talking about such futuristic nonsense. Flying cars, hoverboards....and Purdue basketball on television.

We can all dream, can't we?

Until people more intelligent than I are able to figure out such technological marvels, we will watch Purdue basketball streaming online via ESPN3.com. Check it out now and see if your ISP allows you to view it. It's kind of like the magic 8-ball that way -- maybe you'll be able to see it, maybe you won't.

Sports Phrases to Eliminate

I've been wanting to throw this feature out there for a while, so here we go.

Every year, there’s a Web site out there that cites the phrases and terms that just need to be retired from everyday use. Things like “bling” made it a few years ago, to give you an example. And this got me to thinking that we should come up with a list of sports-related terms and/or phrases that simply must be done away with. The list – for now – is below and is in no way exhaustive. We invite and encourage you to help us with this and share others we haven't thought of and some of your pet peeve, go-to, lazy broadcaster phrases.

“and oh, by the way…” – ESPN analysts use this one constantly. CONSTANTLY. One of the worst abusers is Mike Golic who puts it into any sentence no matter how non-worthy the subject matter is. He’ll tell you that the Lakers won and that, “andohbytheway, Kobe had 38 points.” No, Mike, no. No “andohbytheway” necessary. Just quit it.

“flat-out” – what does this even mean? As far as I can tell, this has one acceptable use and that’s when you’re describing someone or something’s top speed or something very similar to that. You can say, “Tony Stewart ran 195 MPH flat-out for the final four laps” or “Running flat-out, Tim is the fastest sprinter I’ve ever seen.” You cannot say, “Tom Brady can flat-out play.” It doesn’t make any sense. What does the “flat-out” add to that?

“take one game at a time” – I know people have made fun of this for years but still… shouldn’t that have been enough to get it retired? I mean, how else can you take games? Does Matt Painter ever sit in the Purdue locker room and advise the troops, “Okay, men, I know we’ve been playing well and we seem really focused, so let’s take our next four games and play them all at once on Saturday.”

“focus” – Okay, this one sort of has some sort of sense to it but can we all agree it’s wildly overused? Everything is about focus and not being focused or they were more focused than their opponent or we had to get away from home so we could focus or we had to get back home so we could focus… it’s exhausting all the focusing it seems teams and players are doing.

“Giving 110%” (or any variation) – Again, an old one. But still widely used. And not just by broadcasters; this is something Billy Packer will say during the NCAA Tournament every year. Percentages don’t work like this, mouth-breathers. No matter how hard you try, nothing can ever be more than 100%. 100% is maximum capacity.

“literally” – This one is overused all the time, too. You hear people actually say “literally” when something is actually happening figuratively or only in the broadcaster’s mind. “Vince Young literally plowed his way into the end zone!!” Really? He actually, physically, drove a truck with a snowplow on the front through the defensive linemen and into the end zone? I’m fairly certain that’s not allowed. I even heard someone on ESPN radio recently say that a pitcher was “literally melting down.” Wow, that had to be pretty traumatic for the other players to witness as he turned into a puddle of goop.

“the reality is…” – Everything that happens is reality. You don’t need to say this as though everything else we were discussing is fantasy.

Using “courage,” “hero,” or other such words to describe athletes – This includes “warrior” or "soldier," too. They’re athletes. They play sports for a living. Usually for tons of money. There’s nothing – NOTHING – courageous about them. I know saying someone is “great” or “incredible” gets boring, but let’s not anoint anyone as the next Marvel Comics superhero just because they can score 30 points in a half.

“We just have to make plays.” – No fricking sh-t. This is code for “I don’t know the answer to your question about our second half strategy.”

“He just knows how to win” or “He/they find(s) a way to win.” – Unless he loses. At which point you say this about the other guy.

“Just well enough to lose.” – What does this even mean? It’s a stupid cliché that makes no sense at all. To do this, one would have to know precisely what their team is going to do that day and then, play well but just slightly worse than the other team. Intentionally. Otherwise, I don’t see a scenario in which this makes any sense whatsoever.

“He knows how to play the game” or “He plays the game the right way” – I always hate this one because it’s pure laziness. A guy legs out a double and hustles the whole way and so we say he plays the game the right way. Yeah, I guess. But what’s the alternative? Holding the bat by the wrong end and facing the stands? A shortstop wearing a foam finger on his hand instead of a glove? A basketball player with his shoes on his hands?

“intangibles” – This one bothers me because it’s what a lazy analyst uses to cover his ass. I think the game will come down to scoring and defense… and, of course, intangibles. Meaning, the things I can’t think of because I’m a mouth-breathing moron. I’d venture to say that 90% of the people who use “intangibles” in analysis couldn’t possibly define it.

“He’s the X-factor” – You can’t define the x-factor, fools. That’s what it’s called the x-factor. If you say “Eli Manning’s ability to complete passes in the fourth quarter will be the x-factor,” then it’s not the x-factor. He just needs to complete those passes. An unexpected lightning storm that strikes Eli in the helmet would be an x-factor.

“He manages the game” (in reference to QBs) – In other words, I can’t think of anything good to say about this guy and I’m amazed he hasn’t lost every game he’s ever played because he sucks, so I’ll just say he manages the game.

Controlling one’s own destiny – You can’t “control” destiny. If you believe in such a thing, it’s already…destined. Get it? You can control your own outcome or situation or future…but not destiny.
“That’s a football player right there.” – Just in case we thought he was a jockey on his way to Churchill Downs.

“That is a golf shot.” – Don’t. Be. Lazy. Tell us something. Don’t say something one of my idiot buddies would say on the weekend at the muni.

“Shocked the world!” – No, you did not. Unless it’s the World Cup, nobody in Ghana cares what you just did.

Invoking religion and thanking God, but only for good things – Look, there’s nothing wrong with being religious. But I hear players credit Jesus as the reason they won a game, scored a winning touchdown, etc. Just once I’d love to hear someone say in their postgame interview, “Well, we were doing just fine until God made me fumble at the goal line.”

“long” to describe a player – Jay Bilas loves to say a player is “long.” Where, Jay? In the Johnson region? How about just saying he’s tall? Where did this long crap come from? He’s not an alligator.

“He'd like to have that one back.” – Broadcasters say this about pitchers (who also say it) all the time in baseball. “Yeah, the changeup that Pujols hit 500 feet in the 6th… that’s the one that Martinez would like to have back.” I don’t get where this came from. Of course he’d like to “have back” the pitch that got drilled. Doesn’t that go without saying? I mean, while we’re at it, wouldn’t every team like to “have back” every season that they haven’t won a championship? That’s so damn stupid. Stop saying it.

Others? Please share.

So much has changed!

Waaaaaaay back on April 7, one of EsPN's geniuses, Andy Katz had Purdue atop his top 25. He spoke of the upper classmen bolstering the team and how Robbie Hummel's knee, IF healthy would be a warm-fuzzy story for the nation to gobble up.

Well.

As JJ and Smooge have decided to return, and the docs and coaches are giving nothing but positive news about Rob's surgically-repaired knee, Katz, of course, has Duke jumping over Purdue into the #1 spot. This is because NOTHING changed for K's team since Katz last wrote his last dumb poll. Makes sense...right?

Well, to people out of the know like you and I, it might not seem logical, but to the little voices inside of Andrew's head, it makes complete sense.

Perhaps he's arguing with himself and Purdue can earn back the #1 during the summer with key additions and subtractions of nobody and no breaking news...OR...more likely, mind you, Purdue will be jumped by MSU as the Ostrich starts running, JJ gains 15 pounds of muscle, Smooge works on his first step and we find out the incoming Freshman are in great shape and hungry to get on the court.

Makes perfectly-good sense to EsPN...as it does to keep this boob employed. I guess if he and the network throw everything against the wall, eventually they'll be correct. Just as in his buckshot approach to whom he's "heard" might be joining the BT, eventually, he'll look like the smartest guy in the room...if he just keeps talking/writing.

Dallas, anyone??

The NCAA has approved some more bowls...Thank God!! The Pinstripe Bowl, which J Money will attend each year, I'm sure. Bad news in that bowl is both teams must wear baseball unis. Who doesn't wanna play in the Bronx in late-December??
Second, the Dallas Football Classic will have hundreds riveted as the #7 team from the Big 12 will square off against the #6 team in the Big Ten. Oh joy! I'm positive this bowl will be extremely-profitable...much like the Motor City Bowl which actually costs teams to play in.

Don't get me wrong, I love football. But, please, no more crappy bowls...There are already too many.

Pickles Redux
About 4 weeks ago, Clausen was a guy who was little-more than an also-ran for the, then, up-coming draft. But as we got closer-and-closer to the draft, Mel Kiper's hair kept talking about how great of a prospect Jimmy was (number 4 player in the whole thing, in fact). With the hype machine of EsPN behind him, our favorite guy had a ton of momentum behind him going into the worst sports TV event of the year...or so the network thought. Turns out, NFL GMs like Liberace...errrrrrr....Clausen as much as we do. And, acting like a d-bag doesn't pay off for anybody in the long run. That's heartening.

Let's think back to about 9 months ago...how different things were. The Manatee and Pickles were heading into a sure-fire, at minimum, 10-win season with the world at their feet and the media on their side. Tonight, in day 2 of Jimmy's draft saga, we saw him squirm as he went the route of Kyle Orton's backup...but, that lucky dog got the undivided attention of Erin Andrews. Dag-nabbit, maybe things do work out for a-holes.

And speaking of, Kiper, McShay, Lunardi, other heads...dammit I can't stand these dudes. I really have no clue how they got on TV...and not only did they get jobs, but they keep them- while being wrong all the time.

Mike Neal
It's kinda frustrating and great at the same time that Mike Neal was picked in the second round this evening. We heard for much of his career from Tiller, Hope, Williams and others that he was an NFL player...turns out they were all right. Sad thing about it, we didn't get to see Neal go all-Anthony Spencer on the BT during any of his seasons at Purdue. Maybe it's because he was double and triple-teamed for much of his career, maybe it's because he was never in the right system/position...who knows. But now, he's off to be an ambassador for Purdue in the league...Congrats to Big Mike!

This Week In Idiotic Questions

ESPN never fails to be idiotic.

Who would you trust with the ball in their hands with the game on the line?

Drew Brees or Mariano Rivera?

What?

Also, do you like pencils or chocolate pudding?

Yay! Voting is fun!

ESPN's Curious Campus Choices

ESPN, you continue to be awesome.

From Awful Announcing comes the upcoming schedule for College Gameday: Hoops Edition for this coming winter. How do they have them decided already? I don't know. I guess because how the season goes is sort of irrelevant to ESPN, at least from the college basketball perspective.

For those too lazy to link over, here's the schedule:

January 16th: Storrs, Conn. - Notre Dame at Connecticut (Women’s)

A women's game. Awesome. Yes, we get it -- women's basketball is just as deserving of our attention. I'll be sure to care...soon.

January 23rd: Clemson, S.C. - Duke at Clemson

Clemson, noted basketball powerhouse from a basketball-hungry part of the country. Also, note to Clemson -- you can't pretend you're nutty fans about both football and basketball and not really be good at either of them.

January 30th: Manhattan, Kan. - Kansas at Kansas State (6 p.m. show and game at 7 p.m.)

Fine. Kansas is good and a great state for hoops.

February 6th: Champaign, Ill. - Michigan State at Illinois

This is your Big Ten choice? No Boilermakers? Okay. Whatever.

February 13th: Lexington, Ky. - Tennessee at Kentucky

Okay, Calipari. I get it.

February 20th: Seattle, Wash. - UCLA at Washington

Seriously? Seriously?

February 27th: Syracuse, N.Y. - Villanova at Syracuse

I guess I should be happy they're not featuring a powerful Big East matchup every week. Because the Big East is awesomeness.

March 6th: Durham, N.C. - North Carolina at Duke

But of course.

Even Three Minutes of ESPYs Too Much

I could write a whole column about how horrible the ESPYs are, but what's the point? That show is equivalent to the proverbial fish in the barrel. (The photo shows one of the apparent ongoing gags used, showing fake Tweets -- topical!)

However, last night I stumbled onto it (the rerun, I guess, since it was late at night) and watched for only about three minutes before I wanted to put a hot poker into my eyeballs.

There was a skit going on wherein Samuel L. Jackson and Justin Fruitcake Timberlake were smacking around a golf ball and Jackson's was rattling off streets and buildings and pianos, etc., ad nauseam. Eventually, Jackson smacks his ball... into outer space. Hilarious. And really clever. If only McDonalds didn't have the same kind of routine going 16 years ago.

Then again, this stupid "awards show" isn't even live. In 2009. They taped it last Wednesday and then ran it last night. So if you even cared about these meaningless awards, you would already know the results. Oh, and you know how during movie trailers, they say things like "Oscar winner Dustin Hoffman"? Is ESPN hoping that for a lead-in to the Masters one year, Jim Nantz will breathlessly say, "Multiple ESPY-winner Tiger Woods goes for another green jacket"? I mean, what's the point of this sh-tshow?

Oh, right. For ESPN to lavishly spend money and beg people to pretend they care. Ugh, what a debacle. The only one I ever remember being decent was the very first one, and probably just because of Jim Valvano's impassioned speech on living your life, which you should watch at least once a year if you do not already.

So at least something good came out of this train wreck. But it's time to put it out to pasture. It's boring, it's hackneyed, nobody cares about it and it truly means absolutely nothing.

Did You Know ESPN Kind of Sucks?

I'll bet you did. Yet we're all left with the same dilemma -- what else can we watch? ESPN has a stranglehold on sports television and, though they often suck terrible, they're the most comprehensive as well. Mainly because they're like the Starship Enterprise and just consume everything in their path. Or is a better metaphor that they're like the aliens in Independence Day? Hard to say.

But not for Phil Mushnick. He thinks ESPN sucks and he isn't afraid to say so, going so far as to call Chris Berman "ESPN's head clown." Hee. Don't be surprised if ESPN puts a hit out on Mushnick now.

In the same column, he also comes down hard on Mike Francesa, who, if you've never had the displeasure of listening to on WFAN radio in New York, well, consider yourself lucky.

When Do We Start Getting Concerned About SportsCenter's Propaganda?

I know we all share a general disdain for the direction that ESPN has gone in, but we also are all in the same boat in that... hey, what are we sports fans going to do? Not watch ESPN? Kind of hard. They're everywhere.

Including on Twitter. And I am currently "following" them because I was curious if it would just be one of those lame Twitter feeds that's just a link dump to ESPN.com articles. But it's not. It's not bad, in the fact that it appears actual anchors and producers are Tweeting. What is getting a little obvious is that they really, really, really want us to all agree that Bulls-Celtics is the most amazing playoff series ever of all time ever, EVER. Take a look:


Josh E:Last night, hand ticking towards midnight, in a packed Manhattan restaurant. Diners leaving tables to watch the 3rd OT. Unforgettable
7 minutes ago


PRODUCER: We are all convinced that somehow the Bulls and Celtics will find a way to play EIGHT games in this series. Incredible basketball.
about 2 hours ago


Producer: 3 OT's = Tired morning SC Pod...but...WOW...what a game! What a series.
about 4 hours ago


Impromptu Poll: Who wins Game 7?
about 12 hours ago


Robert F: Wow. Don't have rooting interest in either team, but Bulls/Celtics reminds me of NBA in the 80's...when the league was Fan-tastic!
about 13 hours ago


Yes, we get it. It's amazing basketball. Especially the violent fouls that knock out people's teeth. Awesome. Now, I don't mean to be a conspiracy theorist here, but you don't suppose that... maybe... just possibly... they were encouraged to talk about just how awesome, life-changing and socially impacting this series has become? I mean, I know this is WAY out there....

ESPNChicago. Seriously.

I don't normally link to Deadspin because they really don't need site traffic hits from us (plus we typically post original content b/c we're awesome), but I had to point this out.

ESPN has launched ESPNChicago, a Chicago-dedicated Web site that's basically just like ESPN.com, only focused on Chicago. Don't you think this already existed? Yeah, like in every other major city.

Is it because Chicago is just such a terrific sports town? I don't know. Is it maybe more because Obama is associated with Chicago and ESPN wants to wear Obama's letterman's jacket? Could be that, too.

Or we can let resident idiot Scoop Jackson explain:

In our minds, this site, one dedicated to all of Chicagoland sports at every level, is long overdue. Because when it comes to the games we all play, watch and love, no one — and I repeat no one — on any corner of any block in any city any place in the world got swagger like us.

It's always amusing how every big-time sports city thinks they're the end-all, be-all of sports fans. I grew up a NY sports fan so obviously I'm biased, too, but I would never claim there's no "corner of any block in any city" where there could be anybody better. Or with more "swagger," whatever the f-ck that means. Good writing, Scoop. You managed to sound like you have conviction about something that can't be defined. Super.

I know Boilerdowd detests Chicago fans, primarily those of the Cubbie variety, and all I can say about this is that the insecurities that the Second City has (hell, it's in their nickname to be second-best!) are kind of cute. You guys aren't very big winners at all and if not for Michael Jordan, you'd basically be Philadelphia.

mmmm, Gumbo.

Good morning, ladies and gents! Hope your week has gone well.

I have a bunch of thoughts floating around in my head and wanted to put them down on the greatest site in all of the land...Here we go.

MLB
Bud Selig can suck it. That jack was asleep at the wheel during the home run era, and allowed the moon shot increase to be blamed on the mythological "live ball" instead of cracking down on PEDs. Now, we know everybody and their moms in the league was juicing (except about 10% of the players)...and he's throwing A-Rod under the bus.

It is true though, A-Rod admitting he had cheated is very un-baseball like. Why didn't he like repeatedly like the rest of the schleps who have been fingered by various investigators?

I say hats off to A-Rod...and I've already forgiven him. Clemens, Bonds and the rest of you un-repentant liars can suck it.

But Alex, no one will ever forgive you for dating Madonna.

Meggy Tejada- hats off to you for pleading guilty, and begging for forgiveness from the fans. Granted, you shouldn't lie under oath, but he's just protecting the ole boys network of the MLB.

Valuable lessons above- Don't cheat. Don't lie...or bad things happen to you. But if you do, act like a man and admit your mistakes.
EsPN
The Entertainment Programming Network recently suspended Scott Van Pelt for stating his opinion about Bud Selig stealing MLB's money...and he got suspended for a week. Supposedly, Seligs feewings were hurt. It does hurt when you're nailed as a fraud...and you know you're one.

And speaking of frauds, EsPN needs to drop the word Sports from their title for once and for all. Sports Center is filled with more human interest stories than highlights these days...and the only reason they keep their ratings is because there's no serious competition.

Maybe if Van Pelt would handle himself like a professional, a la Chris "stupid pun here" Berman, he'd get somewhere. In my opinion, Van Pelt ranks up there with Dan Patrick, Craigers and Mayne as the best SC anchers of all time. If the Network wants to push entertainment, use Kenny Mayne more!

Much like Patrick, Van Pelt will probably wisely move on soon...I hope he does.

Nike
Some of you know, I am in my profession because I grew up a huge fan of Nike basketball shoes. But, I fell out of love with the footwear and equipment giant back in college. So, my opinion isn't too surprising.

But Nike is a shadow of its former self. Granted, they still have a giant portion of the market share in footwear and apparel, but their focus has clearly changed. On many of their products, a woven label reads:

"Engineered to the exact specifications of championship athletes"

Well, like so many things in the world, that's become marketing drivel. As you heard earlier in the week, Nike bailed on their meetings with Purdue players last summer for no apparent reasons. The meetings were set-up so Purdue captain, Chris Kramer could give his input to Nike prior to their changing of Purdue's uniforms. Instead, Nike will do whatever the hell they feel like...and Kramer and Co. will like it!

As a product designer, the philosophy of designing at the end user instead of for them pisses me off. And the fact that marketing decides Nike's direction instead R&D teams along with athletes is a far cry from Phil Knight's original vision of the company that he no longer runs. No matter, it's time for Nike, like EsPN, to simply stop pushing a pack of lies upon the consumer, and state what they are- a fashion sporty brand. 14 year old girls love their stuff though...so that's positive.

Todd McShay- Are You Drunk Right Now?

Since I work from home, I get to watch TV during the day. I just saw EsPN's college football head tell me that he thought it was noteworthy that UND finally is back in the national picture, from a recruiting standpoint...HUH?

Here's what I see:
'06 UND was 8th nationally, according to Rivals (5th according to Scout)
'07- 8th/11th
'08- 2nd/2nd
'09- 20th/23rd

Now, I'm not a math guy, per se, but That doesn't look to me like UND has made big strides. But then again, I don't work for EsPN.

Addendum
Hope's full recruiting class has signed...Rich Rodriguez did not get involved this season.