Quick glance back at the week

Media day for B1G football was this week...you all know that. Here are a few things that stood out to me:

Shavers in BG Game

-Hope and his teammates like Akeem Shavers a lot...I hope he's as good as they've observed. He need to be, in my opinion. Even if Bolden is healthy all year, he's not the biggest back and a change up who is a legitimate threat is imperative for moving the chains.

-Hope is fully expecting Robert Marve to be 100% when camp starts...that's very different from how things looked just a month ago. Kevin Pamphile is also seems to be finally improving after battling a nagging foot injury.

-Hope said about the QB situation, "For the first time since I've been the head coach at Purdue, we went into the spring game with a quarterback who had played in a college football game." That's simply not the case- Elliott played in three games as a Junior, four as a Soph and three as a Freshman. Granted, he didn't play a ton (if any) serious snaps...but he played. Plus, Marve started over half the season at Miami and threw for over 1,200 yards for the 'Canes.

-Purdue will use a two QB system as Hope sees both Marve and Henry as starter-caliber players. Plus, he likes TerBush's potential. Hopefully Robinson will be able to redshirt as it would help the depth chart quite a bit in coming seasons.

It was asked on Twitter if we could think of any teams that were good with two QBs that played regularly. I believe Carr, while at Michigan, used Drew Henson & Tom Brady, then Drew Henson & John Navarre and averaged around 9 wins/season during that period. Also, Texas used both Major Applewhite and Chris Simms under center during the same season. Sure, UM and UT had tremendous depth at nearly every position and was loaded to the gills with talent...so it's not exactly the same situation. But, it can and has worked.

At the same time, I can think of a ton of examples when it failed miserably...but it doesn't always.

-And speaking of quarterbacks who used to be part of a two-QB system, Kirk Cousins delivered a great speech at the luncheon. In it, he mentioned Purdue specifically as a place he would have liked to play...and after watching the speech (and of course watching him play), I can honestly say I wish he was wearing gold and black right now.

-IU HC, Wilson, says he hasn't watched one minute of tape from last season because he's only looking forward. On one hand, I appreciate the idea of looking to the future...probably a good idea for IU. But, as a guy who thinks attention to detail is important, watching a few hours of what happened last season might behoove the first year former OU OC.

-Joe Paterno isn't getting any younger...and while the man is simply a marvel simply because he's as active as he is at age 84, it's amazing to me how many laughs the man gets every time he speaks to the media. I guess to the 46 year veteran goes the spoils.

Quick Peek at Recruiting

-Austin Appleby still seems solid with Purdue after being named an Elite 11 QB. In spite of receiving high marks at the camp and outshining a lot of talented guys like Gunner Kiel, his rating remains at a respectable, but not noteworthy, three-stars. As he gets healthier during the season, I fully expect Appleby to do big things...and get run on by a few big programs. Danny Hope and the program really needs him to not pull a Bellomy before signing day.

-Verbals are slowly, but surely, rolling in for Hope's 3.5th recruiting class at Purdue. Along with Appleby, Hope's got a couple of solid players who have verballed, but not anybody that's highly-ranked. There is still a gaping hole the offensive line recruiting...and Hope needs to go get a few gigantic, ugly fellows in the very near future.

In the League

-Keith Smith is camping with the Lions, Kyle Adams & Dan Dierking with the Bears and Keith Carlos with the Eagles. Hopefully one or more make it to the regular season.

Of course, Kerrigan is signed with the Redskins. He got a bit dinged up yesterday, but should be healthy in the next week to ten days.

New Jersey is Lovely In February

I feel compelled as a native NJ'er to share my opinion on the NFL's cockamamie decision to have the Super Bowl in East Rutherford, NJ in 2014. I've never liked this idea, going back to long before the new stadium was built and people started murmuring about it as something that could be done for the NY area "because of 9/11." First of all, invoking 9/11 doesn't make you a caring person. It's lazy and it's a way to try to make yourself look considerate. Holding a Super Bowl there more than 12 years after that awful day has zero to do with one another.

No, this is about the NFL kissing asses. The NFL gave Dallas a Super Bowl because of Jerry Jones' giant compensation stadium. So when the Giants/Jets built a new stadium, why not give them one, too? And do you know why the owners all think it's a swell idea? Because people like Robert Kraft and Daniel Snyder will now surely make requests to hold Super Bowls in their own new-ish buildings. Hey, you let New Jersey host one, Mr. Commissioner. And so now we'll have to deal with this.

Sure, many Super Bowls will still be played in warm climates. It's unlikely that Miami, New Orleans, Tampa and the like will ever be fully phased out. But it's not impossible. Consider that Miami's stadium is currently 23 years old. The Superdome in New Orleans is 35 years old. That's as old as Boilerdowd, and he can't play softball without hurting himself, no matter how many handsome young men are there to help him up.

No, this is a slippery slope. Cases will be made that the Super Bowl should be in the best, most state-of-the-art stadiums each year.... and I can't necessarily say that's not a solid argument. But now that they're willing to put games in the snow belt, well, have fun with that.

Oh, and my biggest concern about this isn't snow, despite the photos in this post. No, if you've ever been to a game at the Meadowlands, you know how fiercely windy it can get. Like, ridiculously so. Like, ten yard punt bad. Unable to make field goals or throw the ball bad. So, yeah, it's not so much that it might be cold and snowy as it is the likelihood that it will be nasty and windy.

I heard on NY radio that of the past ten years, on Feb 2 (the date of the 2014 Super Bowl), it's been over 50 degrees six times. That's good. You know what else happens in February, though? Some of the worst winter storms NJ ever has. So it's totally hit or miss. And yeah, if it turns out to be 55 degrees and clear, everyone will act like "See, no problem!" Except why would you want to hope for a lucky weather day for your biggest showcase event if you're the NFL? Oh, right. Money.

And don't tell me it's for the fans. The Super Bowl is too expensive for most fans, plus there are few seats even available. Most go to corporate types or people with media connections. And those people -- non-real football fans -- don't want to be miserable and cold, even if that makes for nifty photographs of the game. People talk about the "Ice Bowl" like it is some nostalgic thing. The Ice Bowl sucked! It was -17 degrees! It's one of the reasons there was actually a rule on the books about the Super Bowl having to be played in climates above 50 degrees.

I don't want to see a Super Bowl affected by snow or wind or whatever. Yeah, yeah, I know it rained on the Colts-Bears Super Bowl in Miami. Whoop-dee-do. It was also probably 70 degrees. And that's extraordinarily rare. To point to that as an example of how weather interferes is like saying you shouldn't hold the Orange Bowl in Florida anymore because last year's was played in 30 degree weather. It was a fluke.

This is a bad move by the NFL. Part of the fun of the Super Bowl is watching things happening in nicer climates and wishing we were there. Being envious of it. In NJ? Hell, I'm from there and it's the last place I'd want to be in February. And if people bitched about how hard it was to get from place to place when the Super Bowl was in Houston, well, prepare yourselves for the hell of getting in and out of Manhattan for a week. And shuffling back and forth from the Meadowlands to wherever your hotel is in NYC.

I hope the NFL gets what it deserves on this one.

Peyton Manning Was Clipped

It doesn't seem to be getting talked about anywhere, but I noticed it on one of the replays of Tracy Porter's interception on Sunday -- Peyton Manning was the only guy with a chance to tackle him and he was shoved to the ground with a two-handed push to the back from Will Smith. (I know, shocking that an OSU player might do something kind of cheap.

First, the video:



If you're looking for it, it's not hard to see at all. Peyton immediately knows it's a pick and starts making a path to intercept Porter, who spent most of the run changing hands, apparently because he couldn't decide which hand to use to showboat with. (To Mrs. Money's everlasting credit, during the replay she says, "Stop switching hands!" And no, she wasn't referring to me. Pervs.)

So here it is frame by frame.

As Porter cuts back and easily makes the lumbering Peyton overrun his intended destination, Smith puts two hands on Peyton's number 18 and leaaaaannnns....


Peyton is heading face-first towards the turf, with Smith attempting to turn left, instinctively trying to distance himself from Manning, whose fall is usually a telltale sign of a block in the back.


Peyton crashes to the ground like a tree and the party is on.


I noticed this in the CBS replay.... in the background as Porter is celebrating, you can see Peyton get up and begin to half-heartedly throw his arms up as if to ask, "Didn't anyone see that?" But he had to know nobody was going to stop the party.

And that brings me to my point -- while I'm fine with the outcome as I wanted to see a Saints victory, it's sort of crappy that a play that could be used as a textbook definition of clipping went completely uncalled because the officials were, what? Just as overcome by the moment as the rest of us? Simms didn't see it, Nantz didn't see it. Or if they did, they chose not to call the officials out about it.

(Had this happened to Tom Brady, Pats fans everywhere would be organizing a protest of the game and demanding the NFL play it over again.)

How might that have changed the game, though? The Saints then have the ball on their own side of the field and the Indy defense is amped with three minutes left to hold them and get the ball back to Peyton. I know, I know, it's over and believe me, I'm certainly not a Colts apologist -- understand that. I just find this to be an interesting tidbit. While so many people are talking about how Drew Brees signing with the Saints altered their history, it's interesting to think about how much a correct call could have altered this Super Bowl.

Both Saints and Vikings Get What They Deserve

"Who had no interceptions or gray stubble and is going to the Super Bowl? This guy."

What did you think was going to happen, Vikings fans?

Yesterday's NFL conference title games could not have gone better, at least for me (and, really, isn't that what's important?). The Jets were finally beaten (seriously, they didn't even belong in the playoffs), the Saints -- led by our favorite guy -- made their first Super Bowl, and Brett Favre reached into the hearts of every Vikings fan out there and tore their hearts from their bodies. Simply awesome. I dine on your tears, Vikings fans. They are my sustenance.

Now, I really have nothing against Vikings fans. Actually, I don't really know any. But any time you welcome in the guy you fricking hated for 16 years and lots of you begin wearing that guy's jersey... well, you're asking for karma to kick you in the nuts. Idiot Minny fans are getting exactly what any sentient person with a functioning brain knew they were getting when they signed up for a season of Brett Favre: some exciting plays, countless features on the guy, gray stubble, stupid commercials, probably more wins that Tavaris Jackson gets you....oh, and a crushing, devastating, backbreaking interception at the absolute worst possible time.

I don't care that he had only seven INTs this year. That is indeed damn impressive. I admit I was shocked he stuck to their gameplan. Part of the reason he was so good this year was that he had some amazing weapons and actually let them work as they should. But when those weapons began misfiring and spilling footballs all over the Superdome turf? Well, Favre did what Favre always does -- tried to "make something happen." And he did. For the Saints.

The Saints, meanwhile, did their best to give this one away, being outgained by 200+ yards and by Reggie Bush deciding to not call a fair catch when he was about to be mowed down by a Minnesota special teamer. Bushy fumbled and then it took Adrian Peterson's fumbleitis to give it right back. Seriously, what the hell was that all about? How often does a team turn the ball over a half-dozen times and still be able to make a claim they should have won? The Saints not having a clue as to how to fall on the ball is a part of that. Seriously, the Vikes might have had eight turnovers if the Saints had run a fumble recovery drill at all this season.

As some of you know, I was manning the BS Twitter feed and Seth Meyers of SNL made some smart-ass remark late in the game about how he figured the Saints were re-thinking their defensive game plan of blitzing the hell out of Favre since they had no sacks to that point. Um, they had caused six fumbles and two picks. So, uh, yeah, Seth, their defense was doing something right. Oh and they beat Favre into a bruised mess. Stick to late-night comedy. Oh, wait, you don't do that well, either.

We'll have more wandering thoughts at the Super Bowl approaches, but for now, let me get back to some examples of the idiots I was discussing up above.

The Idiot Brigade

--Deion Sanders tried to defend the move last night on NFL Network. Ah, no, Deion. No, sir. Even Michael Irvin knew it was a terrible move and Irvin's probably on heroin.

--Peter King made it clear to everyone that he thought the "high-low" hit on Favre should have been flagged. Okay. What does that have to do with how bad Favre sucks when it comes to late-game decisions? King also said not to blame Childress for this loss, then proceeded to name a bunch of boneheaded decisions Childress made. The full evisceration of King's column is done here. I especially like how King complains again about the overtime rules of the NFL and how it didn't give poor Farvey "a chance." Uhh, Peter, he had his chance, at the end of regulation. If he does basically anything else other than what he did, the Vikes are probably going to the Super Bowl. Way to see the big picture.

--This guy and his kid (I guess) encapsulate being a Vikes fan this year: Probably not really being 100% on board but trying to talk yourself into it, including with a Favre jersey. I could watch this clip over and over:



--This idiot, who won't shave his beard until the Vikings win the Super Bowl. You sir, are a moron. And that's not even the worst part of the story. No, the worst part is how he grudgingly allowed his mangy, disgusting beard to be trimmed for his granddaughter's wedding, but wanted "Favre" stitched on the back of his suit. This kind of a-hole makes me even MORE glad, if that's possible, that the Vikes lost in such crushing fashion.

--Favre, himself. I love that he claimed during the postgame press conference that he hadn't even seen the INT yet, so he doesn't know exactly what happened. Watch this video and tell me how he "didn't see it yet"?



Okay, that was just an excuse to enjoy the Favreplosion again. Seriously, nothing better encapsulates his career than that -- getting his team to big games, but almost always pooping the bed once he gets there. In fact, all but once.

Delicious.

Football Jambalaya -- Undeserving Edition

Okay, so last week I picked the wrong upset -- I should have taken Arizona and not San Diego. But seriously, did you know anyone who honestly thought the Cardinals were going to win outright? I definitely had a weird feeling going in because we had all written that game off to the Panthers but I never completely loved the Panthers offense. And I saw them have a lead on the Giants and fail to close the G-men out. So I should have known better. I will say this -- when it got to 20-7, I truly knew it was over. One thing I never thought the Panthers could do was come back from a big hole when they'd need to be airing it out. I like Jake Delhomme a lot but he's just not that kind of quarterback. And he proved it. Of course, who expected them to be behind by that much?

As for San Diego, what can I say? I'm just an idiot. I really thought Ben Roethlisberger would play poorly after such a serious whack to the head in his previous game. But he almost played better, didn't he? And the Steelers defense is impressive. And San Diego, in the end, was a .500 team that was only .500 at the end of the season because they got hot. So I shoulda known. Again.

And as for the Giants, I don't even want to talk about it. It hurt enough to lose to the Eagles, but to then realize that all that stood between them and another Super Bowl appearance was a home game against the 6-seed Iggles and a home game against the 9-7, 4-seed Cardinals, well, that sucks. And interestingly, all four teams left are teams the Giants beat this season. How's that for an extra kick in the beans

Whatever, let's get on with it.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Arizona Cardinals -- Okay, it's not that they're "undeserving." They did what they needed to do to get here. But seriously, the Cardinals and the Eagles? Two 9-win teams? Whatever, they're here and that's all that matters to them and their fans. And it's all that should matter. So who wins? Well, I think both games this weekend are harder than usual to pick. Normally there's a clear favorite at this time of year, but without knowing the lines, I couldn't tell you who should be favored.

Both are obviously playing well. The Cardinals have looked more than lucky so far, too, having run up points on both their opponents -- both of whom were thought to have pretty good defenses, too. On the other hand, the Eagles honestly should have lost to Minnesota. If Westbrook doesn't break that one 71-yard screen or if Minnesota has a professional quarterback, I think that games goes the other way. And then they looked just as lifeless as the Giants until they suddenly were able to move the ball in the second half. And Samuel's pick certainly got them going in the right direction in both games. So I guess what I'm saying is the Eagles have won with some fortuitous bounces and opponents who weren't playing up to their capabilities, while the Cardinals have won because they've been clicking.

However, I just cannot imagine the Eagles letting Larry Fitzgerald dominate like Carolina did, although I know the Eagles are a blitzing team so maybe covering Fitz isn't a strength. And speaking of blitzing, I don't have a good feeling about Kurt Warner handling pressure. However, a friend of mine pointed out Warner's stats against the blitz, and they're amazing. My only thought on that is that having either Fitzgerald or Boldin as your hot route means you have two monsters able to reel in your panic-induced lasers as a blitz bears down on old Kurt.

What does all this mean? Well, I can see the Eagles winning just because as unimpressive as they've been to me, they just keep finding a way. And I can see Arizona winning because, well, they've been convincing. And they're even better at home. If they get a quick start again, it could be trouble for the Iggles.

Oh, a couple other thoughts on the Eagles... do you realize McNabb is only 32? Five NFC title games and he's just 32. And the a-hole fans in Philly were ready to run him out of there a month or so ago. Same with Andy Reid. I know the guy mismanages the clock sometimes, but this guy is a consistently good coach. And even though I know they haven't won a Super Bowl, we all know that once you're in the playoffs it's kind of a crapshoot. Getting there time after time is very impressive. And yes, it's difficult for me to compliment/defend a Philly sports team.

This truly could go either way and so I'm just going to go with the team that I think it playing better right now.

Cardinals 27, Eagles 20

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers -- One team I keep getting right is the Ravens. I, like everyone, knew they'd dismantle Noodlearm Pennington and the Dolphins in round one and I also felt confident they could beat the Kerry Collins-led Titans in round two. However, let's all cool it on anointing Joe Flacco the next fricking Joe Montana. He was 9/23 against the Fins and while he was slightly better against Tennessee, the Ravens barely let him throw the ball in the first half (I think he was 3 of 8 at halftime). That can only be done for so long. And yes, I know the Ravens defense has won them those two games, but if Tennessee doesn't turn the ball over so much last weekend, it's a different story. Maybe Flacco wins the game with his arm, but we'll never know because Alge Crumpler and Lendale White fell down and went boom.

And as for the Steelers, well, as I admitted above, they're better than I thought. I was never impressed during the year with them, seeing them lose some critical games and then only winning others (i.e., Dallas) when the other team made a critical error. And the other thing that worries me a bit if I'm a Pitts fan is that they've already beaten the Ravens twice this year. Beating a team three times is very unusual, but I do think that stat is a little overrated. Because it's a long season and they no longer need to beat the Ravens three times -- they need to beat them once. At home.

Are the defenses even? They're close, I'll tell you that. I'd still give the edge to the Ravens and that is significant because as good as Roethlisberger played last week, the Chargers are no where near the Ravens defensively. Could I see Big Ben getting blasted by Lewis or Suggs and giving way to Byron Leftwich? I sure could. And could I see Ed Reed picking apart the Steelers passing game? Yes, again.

But if the Steelers can get some points on the board, I'm just not yet convinced the Ravens can match them. Flacco does have a great arm and I admit plays very well for a rookie. But we haven't seen him win the game for his team yet. If he were playing the Chargers, I'd give it more thought. But against that Steelers D, I just don't know.

Again, I can truly see either team winning and, again, I don't think that's usually the case in the title games. Usually there's a clear favorite. But I guess (hope) that just means we'll have some good games this weekend.

Steelers 16, Ravens 13

Last Week: 1-3

Overall: 3-5

Friday Football Jambalaya

As you've no doubt heard by now, Peyton Manning is the 2008 NFL MVP. And that's a good thing, because Manning is a very good QB and at least now we don't have to constantly hear about how Brett Favre is the only three-time winner of the award.

It's the first playoff weekend for the NFL and for hard-core NFL fans this is a mixed emotions weekend. Sure, it's great to have playoff games on both days, but it sucks to know that there's no regular 1 PM and 4 PM games anymore and that we're just 11 games away from the 2008 season being gone.

Before I get into this weekend's games, let's take a quick look at some guys whose 2008 season already is over.

Hey, TO! "Get your popcorn ready!" Indeed, you insufferable jackass. Get some popcorn and sit your overrated, loser ass on the couch and watch the playoffs. And the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl that the clueless media decided was the Cowboys for the taking at the start of the year, despite the fact that this is the same team that melted down at home against the Giants last year in the playoffs and is led by a bunch of losers who have never won anything. Yes, I'm looking at you, TO, Romo and fatboy Wade Phillips. Why people believed these guys would do anything but disappoint is beyond me. And yet they still had the change to eek in at 10-6 by simply beating Philly, and they didn't just lose... they lost in epic fashion. If I were a Cowboys fan, I'd be miserable for the entire offseason after seeing things end like that. And to recap -- their December consisted of gut-wrenching/embarrassing losses to Pittsburgh, Baltimore (at home) and Philly, and a squeaked out win over a depleted Giants team. Nice finish, you losers.

(Okay, I'm done with them now.)

Oh, but I have plenty of venom left for this idiot. I'm certainly no Jets fan, but I have a buddies who are and I truly feel bad for them. Chad Pennington brought the Fins into Giants Stadium and ended the Jets season. That could not have been more poetic, nor more painful for Jetties fans. And to see Brett throw three backbreaking picks -- I mean, has anything been more predictable? I still don't get all these Favre apologists. He lost the NFC title game last year with a horrible pick against the Giants and he led the league in picks again this year, culminating with that horrendous showing against the Dolphins. I'm so sick of hearing about his "enthusiasm." He sucks, and he has sucked for several years. Yes, he's thrown more TDs than anyone ever. He's also thrown more picks than anyone. Ever. Doesn't that take some luster off of it? Do you know who has the most wins in NBA coaching history? Lenny Wilkins. Doesn't seem right, does it? Do you know why? Because he also has the most losses ever. You hang around long enough, you'll get some records simply by attrition. And now we get to deal with Brett Favre holding another organization hostage until next August when he decides he'll grace us all with another year of interceptions and near-misses. Great. Just be glad it's not your favorite team.

Okay, I'm done serving haterade and will now talk about the games briefly.

Atlanta Falcons @ Arizona Cardinals -- The Falcons are favored by 1.5 points, on the road, with a rookie quarterback. Wow. And the conventional wisdom out there is that home-field is worth about 3 points, so does this mean the Falcons are 4.5 points better than the Cards? No, it doesn't. Point spreads aren't about that, you fools. Point spreads have one, solitary goal -- to get an equal amount of betting on both sides. They have nothing to do with who is a better team and especially not how much better that team is.

I keep seeing people pick the Cardinals in this game and I can't figure out why. Because they'll be at home? Okay, sure, they're good at home, but mainly against the putrid division they play in. And Kurt Warner, mentioned as a possible MVP just a few weeks ago, seems to have turned back into the grizzled old dude that he really is. I like him, but I think his 2008 magic dust ran out about a month ago. The Cardinals look weak and the Falcons are better than people think. I saw them in person this year and Matt Ryan is pretty incredible. The guy sees plays develop better than I think most rookies do and Roddy White is an animal. I think the Falcons win this game without a lot of trouble.

Falcons 24, Cardinals 14

Indianapolis Colts @ San Diego Chargers -- Another road favorite, Indy has won 9 straight and Peyton is playing like a true veteran leader. The Chargers are definitely hot, having gone from 4-8 to 8-8 to make the playoffs and their 52 point performance against Denver has an Indy fan buddy of mine worried. But I don't think the worry is necessary. The Chargers thumped a Broncos team that mailed it in the last month and the Chargers were simply amped to win the division after truly being left for dead. I know they played the Colts well last January and beat them, but I just can't imagine that happening again. Tomlinson tweaked his groin and I think that's going to be a big deal. If he's 100% and Rivers isn't hobbling around like last year, then maybe the Chargers pull it off. And it being in San Diego is definitely nice for them. ("Take a hike." "You know what? I'm gonna do that. This weather is SWEET.")

I know the Chargers are playing well and they've had the Colts' number lately, but they still have Norv Turner, too.

Colts 31, Chargers, 27

Baltimore Ravens @ Miami Dolphins -- As awesome as it is that Chad Pennington took the Dolphins to the playoffs by beating the Jets after being cast off by the Jets like a used kicking tee, he's still the guy I used to make fun of as "Old Noodlearm" when I wanted to wrankle Jets fans. And as much as it's awesome that the Pats missed the playoffs, it kind of was screwy and I honestly think the Pats could have made some noise, while I think the Dolphins really have zero shot of going anywhere. I mean, think about it -- can you even fathom the Fins making the Super Bowl? And here they are a division champ, hosting a game. I mean, good for them... don't get me wrong, I think it's great for them and their fans (and for Jason Taylor, that jackhole who wound up in Washington on another loser team -- ha!). But I just really think they have no chance. Of course, nobody ever thinks Old Noodlearm has a chance and he seems to thrive on that. The Ravens are also a road favorite here -- the road team is the favorite in all four games this weekend, which has to be some kind of a record. And once again, I am going with the road team, which means I'll almost certainly get most of these picks wrong.

Ravens 21, Dolphins 13

Philadelphia Eagles @ Minnesota Vikings -- This is one of those early playoff games where deep inside you just know neither team has a shot at the Super Bowl. Somebody's going to win and move on to within two wins of getting there, but I think that's where the fun will end. The Eagles, while a balances team, are just way too inconsistent. And the Vikings, well, they're starting Tavaris Jackson at quarterback. You allow that Adrian Peterson is going to get his 150 yards and you hope to shut down everything else, which is possible. Or you stack against Peterson and make Jackson beat you with his arm.

He will not.

Eagles 31, Vikings 17

Feel free to come back Monday to point and laugh.

Detroit Boilermakers

Sometimes we like to shine our 2 candlepower spotlight on former Boilermakers who are making a name for themselves in the NFL. Well, one of my personal favorites, John Standeford, is kind of doing that as he's finally seeing some regular action for the Detroit Lions after spending four seasons on the Colts practice squad.

I'm actually not sure being on the Colts practice squad isn't better than being on the Lions active roster, but that's neither here nor there.

John has gone from catching passes from Peyton Manning in the practice bubble to being targeted by the legend that is Dan Orlovsky.

Truth is, though, we're happy that John is getting the chance to play regularly in the NFL because this is a hard-working guy who deserves it. I still wear his #82 to games in the fall.

Also interesting is the John Standeford isn't the only former Boilermaker to be "starring" for the Lions. Ole Stu Schweigert was signed by the league's most inept team in November.

Back to John, though... I thought this quote was a little puzzling, like maybe there's a problem within the coaching ranks in Detroit as far as communicating roles to players (imagine that):

"I thought Detroit was a good fit. I just try to go out there and make plays. I don't know what I am in their scheme. I try to run routes as best I can. I don't know what you call that. I try to get open."

This must be taken out of context because of all the "I don't know" comments -- maybe he was asked what kind of receiver he is or something. But it just seems to fit well with the dazed and confused look the Lions have had all season to match their 0-14 record.

But hey, that's not all on the former Boilermaker thread. You may already know this, but the offensive coordinator, such as it is, for the Lions is none other than (awful) former Purdue coach Jim Colletto. And here's Jim's quote about Standeford:

"He is really a dependable guy," Colletto said. "It's nice to have a couple of guys you can talk to out there. He does exactly what you ask him. He gives all kinds of effort. He is nice to have around."

Is it me, or does that sound really lonely? What are the other players doing? Pushing him down and kicking sand in his face? I guess if you're the O-coordinator of an 0-14 team, you really would be lonely.

Anyway, all the best to John, Stu, and, yes, even Jim.

Offsetting flags were thrown for these blatant purple nurples.

Giants Keep On Winning

When you've had to watch your college team go through the motions and become a complete embarrassment, especially on offense, as we have recently, it makes watching your favorite pro team (if they're good) quite satisfying. Even if they're not world-beaters, or even if they have a mediocre game... they often find ways to still move the ball, capitalize on mistakes by the other team, etc. Good teams do those sorts of things. Even average teams do it sometimes.

I was somehow lucky enough to see the fourth quarter of the Giants-Steelers game yesterday because the Texans game here in Houston had ended and for some reason the NYG-PIT game was running long, so Fox -- in an uncharacteristically intelligent move for broadcast television -- put the rest of this game on.

The Giants had been anemic in the red zone, coming away with just four field goals through 4 minutes into the fourth quarter. Eli wasn't looking sharp and the Steelers defense looked positively stout.

However, the Steelers emergency long snapper, James Harrison, snapped the ball about ten feet over the punters head and out of the end zone for a safety, tying the score and giving the Giants life.

Side note: I love this quote from Harrison after the game:

"I was nervous about snapping for the first time in a game," Harrison said. "But my feeling was that even if I shot it over his head, we still had a chance to stop them."

Isn't that awesome? I'm sure it wasn't said as cavalierly as it appears in print, but that just makes me laugh. You know, he figured, even though it's a close game where points are at a premium, snapping it out of the end zone and blowing our lead -- and then having to kick the ball to the Giants -- would be okay.

Anyway, the Giants took the ball and went down the field, with Eli hitting TE Kevin Boss for the go-ahead TD and, after Ben Roethlisberger (who I'm sorry, is as overrated a QB as there is in football) failed to move the Steelers at all in two more possessions, wound up winning and moving to 6-1.

Quietly moving to 6-1, I might add. On The Sports Reporters Sunday morning, Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe said that if the Giants didn't win this game, people were going to start saying, "See, they did get lucky for three weeks last year."

How do you figure, Bob? That's among the most idiotic things I've heard yet about the Giants. Sure, people don't think they were the best team last year... that's true, and I'm fine with it. But they were 5-1, heading into a tough place to win -- against another 5-1 team! And if they don't win that, then they're.... a fraud? Hard to follow, Bob.

Anyway, yes, here they are -- the Giants, in the widely-agreed toughest division in the NFL, leading with a 6-1 record. And yet nobody seems to think they're real good. And I guess that's fine. Truth is, when I looked at this season, I decided that a 10-6 record was possible and that I'd actually be really happy with that because it should get them into the playoffs where, as they showed, anything can happen. And despite being 6-1, I still think I'd be happy with 10-6. Sure, the New York papers will blast them if they go 4-5 the rest of the way, but with the brutal schedule they have, that wouldn't be so bad.

I'm just totally rambling now, but it's better than focusing on Purdue football.

Anquan Boldin Hit

If you're like me, you've already seen all of yesterday's sports highlights five separate times, but if you didn't see this hit on Arizona's Anquan Boldin late in the Jets destruction of the Cards yesterday, it's worth seeing.



As Harold Reynolds would say, "Mercy!"

And hey, well-done, Kurt Warner. Nothing like leading your team's best receiver right into a head-on collision with a locomotive.

Ouch.

New Orleans To Be Hit By Another Devastating Hurricane

Yeah, I'm sure I'm not the first one with that joke, but I am the most handsome.

For those who haven't heard yet, Jeremy Shockey -- reknown, overrated douchebag -- has been traded to the Saints for some ankle tape and a bucket of used athletic cups. Actually, no, the Giants got a couple of decent picks for him so that's a win-win, especially considering Kevin Boss proved to actually be a better tight end as a rookie than Shockey ever was.

Shockey never really fit into the Giants team atmosphere like everyone thought he might. The Giants, despite being a "New York" team, aren't as hatable as most NY squads and so Shockey's act did more to piss off the real football fans in the stadium. Sure, once or twice his helmet flew off from a collision and people were like, "Man, he's a gamer!" But mostly he just infuriated real Giants fans by doing things like dropping critical -- and easy to catch -- screen passes or elaborately signaling first down when the Giants were losing games. He definitely had the highest ratio of in-your-face moves to actual plays made in the league.

In the end, as a Giants fan, I'm really happy to have him gone because it means I don't have to root for him anymore. He's a Miami Hurricane, which means he's colossally arrogant and entitled to begin with and simply not capable of humility (witness the way he's acted since being proven wholly unnecessary to the Giants success -- the guy still acts like the team owes him something).

Sean Payton, the Saints head coach, was on the Giants staff under Fassel so he knows what he's getting. So maybe he'll know how to handle him. Or maybe Drew Brees will tattoo Shockey with a laser pass during mini-camps to show him he's not dealing with Eli anymore.

Regardless, good riddance jackass. We will not miss you.

We're so poor...

So the NFL, the cash cow of all sports leagues, claims that every owner is losing money.

Sure they are.

They're losing money because they're only getting $21.4 Billion per year in TV contracts. That means each of the 32 owners only gets $668,750,000. From TV alone. Before they sell a ticket, or a hot dog, or a t-shirt. How can they feed their kids?

If the owners can manage to lose money when their payrolls are about $100 million and they're getting almost 7 times that amount just from TV, then something tells me they're really bad business men. Or they're lying. *GASP* The NFL? Lie? Sacrilegious! Everyone loves the NFL. They'd never do anything to hurt us. I can sleep soundly at night knowing that the NFL is protecting my house from burglars.

Give me a break. The NFL is full of crap and if the owners want to kill their golden goose then I can only hope that no one ever watches a game again.

Patriots Get The Pick Of The Schedule

Tim brought to our attention that the Patriots have a really ridiculous schedule next year. I guess the league really, really, really wants them to go undefeated all the way through the Super Bowl.

When Tim said the Patriots "have the weakest schedule" in the league, I assumed this was a Tim-like exaggeration. (Not sure if you know this, but Tim is prone to exaggerate sometimes.)

So I looked at the schedules and who they're playing and, well, it's kind of ridiculous.

The Patriots do indeed have the easiest schedule when you look at their opponents 2007 records. Yes, yes, I know the NFL is a league when things can turn around quickly, but still. One of the big ways the NFL got known as a league with parity was that they always gave teams an appropriate schedule that reflected the kind of year they'd just had. If you went 3-13, you got a "3-13 schedule," which meant you got a lot of weak teams and you didn't have to face more than one powerhouse. If you went...oh....I don't know.... 16-and-freaking-0, you would likely have a schedule that would make you cry. All good teams, lots of marquee matchups, many prime time games, etc.

But no. Now the NFL has given Steelers the toughest schedule, followed by the Colts, Jags, Vikes, Ravens, Bengals, Texans, Browns and Lions.

Wait, the Vikings, Ravens, Texans, Browns and Lions all get top-ten schedules?

Meanwhile, the Patriots opponents this coming season had a .387 winning percentage in 2007 and a combined 99-157 record. Solid.

Roger Goodell and Bob Kraft put the finishing touches on the Patriots 2008 "schedule."

Do You Realize What Eli Could Do On Sunday?

I'm not sure you understand what could happen on Sunday if Eli Manning and the Giants win one more game and move on to the Super Bowl. I know, I'm as surprised as you are that Eli's one win from the Super Bowl, especially considering the way this season began. But here we are. And if the Giants win Sunday, the following happens:

-Eli Manning has taken a team the Super Bowl. (Read that again.)

-Eli and the Giants will have won three straight road playoff games.

-Eli and the Giants will have knocked off the top two seeds in the NFC.

-Eli and the Giants will have won a playoff game at Green Bay, where it's supposedly so mythical and Brett Favre is such a legend, that the ghost of Vince Lombardi decided to change television programming to disrupt Eli.

-Eli will have beaten Saint Favre, the patron saint of ill-advised, forced passes that turn into interceptions.

-Eli will have taken his team to a Super Bowl four years sooner than his brother Peyton did.

So, seriously, would you have believed any of those things were possible at the start of the season? Let alone all of them being possible at once with one more victory?

This all probably means the Giants will flop spectacularly. But if we're going to take cosmic forces out of it, I think the Giants have a really good chance.

The Giants are playing well right now. Not "on fire" as a lot of media types would have you believe... just "well." They aren't doing anything brilliantly -- rather, they're just doing a lot of things well and they're not making mistakes and giving the game away. Eli isn't throwing picks. They aren't fumbling. They aren't missing opportunities to score when they should score. Nobody's playing out of their minds, though, and that's a good thing because it means getting here hasn't been a fluke. The Giants are just solid enough and with a talented enough defense to sneak past one more team.

The Packers, by the way, are not as good as everyone seems to want to believe. I know it's a fun storybook season for Favre and seeing him go back to the Super Bowl would be neat-o. But, remember, then we'd be subjected to endless stories about aw-shucks Brett Favre and how he's such a "gamer" and how he's so down-home and how he's from Mississippi and how he's able to eat lightning and crap thunder. Please. Spare me.

He's a great QB who belongs in the Hall of Fame. BUT -- Brett Favre has thrown a lot of terrible picks in his career and made many bad decisions. Sure he has the all-time lead in passing yards and TDs but this is as much a product of his impressive (and some might say, detrimentally stubborn) longevity as anything else. He's a QB who passes a lot and who has played every game since 1992. 60,000 passing yards happens that way. So does more than 200 picks.

But I don't mean to rail on Brett Favre. Brett Favre is indeed awesome. I, like many, just get tired of the not-so-concealed mancrushes that every sportswriter and broadcaster has on him. But if Brett went back to the Super Bowl against golden boy Tom Brady, I admit that would be pretty nifty, and a whole hell of a lot better than Rex Grossman being led to slaughter against the Colts last year, for example. I admit, even a cynic like me would enjoy the Brady-Favre matchup.

That said, I don't want it to happen because I like the Giants. They're my team. And these kinds of opportunities don't come along often. And it would be so great to see Eli continue to shut people up by giving them nothing to criticize. And if you want a good Super Bowl, you really should be rooting for the Giants. They threw everything they had at the Patriots and lost 38-35. And Eli had a devastating interception in the second half in that game. What if he plays mistake-free against them? Can we at least agree that it's possible that the Giants can play the Pats tough? Good.

And since we're all about transitive properties around here (huh?), remember what happened to Green Bay when they played Dallas? They got smoked. And how did Dallas fair against the Pats? They got super-smoked. And who has beaten Dallas and played the Pats tough? The Giants.

I forget the original point here. But I know that all year I've felt the Packers were overrated. They played a marginal schedule and lost three games -- once they were trounced by the Cowboys and twice they were beaten up by the Bears. Sure, they beat the Giants in Week 2, but those first two games don't count because the Giants defense still thought it was training camp, I think.

Point is, I feel good about this game. The cold doesn't worry me. Lambeau doesn't bother me. I think the Giants defense will get after Favre and if he starts making dumb decisions, the Giants defense will make him pay far more than Seattle's. And speaking of Seattle, did anyone notice that they were up 14-0 on the Pack last weekend? If they Giants get a 14-0 lead, Green Bay will be in a world of trouble.

I know you don't care, but here's what I think:

Giants 24, Packers 21

-----------------------------------------------

There's another game this weekend and it's in the AFC. I know I was talking about the Giants-Pack game at length and I kept making comments that made it sound like the Patriots have a bye into the Super Bowl. And the reason it seemed like I felt that way is because I do feel that way. Sure, I gave the Chargers no chance against the Colts but, really, is it so hard to fathom the Colts losing a home playoff game with ticky-tack mistakes (like Peyton's picks and Marvin's fumble)? If you take out last season, the Colts lose in the playoffs a lot. And just two years ago, they lose the divisional weekend to the Steelers at home. So a team can gameplan for them and beat them and, to their credit, that's what the Chargers did. It certainly didn't hurt SD that in their two wins over Indy this year, Peyton had eight interceptions. Hey, it's football, it happens.

But the Patriots at home are not the Colts at home. At least not this season. The Patriots are fully healthy and have been for most of the season. They've taken everybody's best shots and fended them off. Most people -- myself included -- thought that the Jags last weekend might have been one of the few teams that could have been good enough to a) catch the Pats napping and b) actually hang with them for four quarters. We were all wrong. As good as the Jags are -- and losing to them by 11 in Foxboro isn't bad -- they clearly weren't enough. And I said it last week -- I thought all along that the Colts would be the team with the best chance to beat the Pats and more because of their lack of fear of the Pats than any sort of talent advantage. But now they're off the board, too. Seriously, does anyone look like they could even give the Pats a game? I know I argued in favor of the Giants but the last game of the regular season in Giants Stadium is one thing... the Super Bowl is another.

And the Chargers? Well, they hate the Pats. New England has de-pantsed the Chargers twice in the last calendar year. Once in the playoffs last year and once to kick off this season. LaDanian Tomlinson famously got all pissy at the Pats last year for "disrespecting" the Chargers a-hole, steroid-abusing, preening prick, Shawne Merriman, by doing his "sack dance" after knocking off the Chargers last year. I don't have any love for the Patriots but that was hellishly funny -- both them mocking that stupid dance and the reaction by the Chargers. LT accused the Pats of having no class and he lumped their head coach in with that. Which is really, just, so funny. And I hope when the Pats are done thumping the Bolts that they all put on dark visor helmets and watch a Vizio TV to be creative in mocking LT. Because he deserves it.


Has any game had so many reasons to root against both teams? I mean, the Chargers have always been likable in my memory. Dan Fouts back in the '80s, Flipper Anderson catching passes, warm weather, cool unis, etc. What's not to like? Then in the '90s they had a mini-resurgence, reaching the Super Bowl in 1994 with Stan the man Humphries at quarterback and Natrone Means rushing. It was a likable team and always has been. Now they've got the aforementioned jackass Merriman, the frat boy-level obnoxious Rivers and LT, who I used to kind of like but now I realize is a whiner. When things don't go his way he yells at teammates and coaches and, as I said, got pissed at the Pats last year.

Then of course there are the Patriots. I don't dislike Tom Brady, actually. And as I've said before, it's cool to witness history. And the way that offense churns through games is simply amazing to watch, whether you like them or not. But as I've said before, if they go 19-0, we will all have to hear about it... forevah!

So yes, I'm pulling hard for the Chargers. Not just because it would be cool to see Rivers against Eli in the Super Bowl (the guys traded for each other on draft day) but because it would screw up everything that ESPN is practically already having an orgasm over -- Brady versus Favre.

Alas, there's no way any sentient human being can truly think the Pats aren't going to win and win big. Rivers might not even play and LT has been marginally effective and was hurt for a lot of the Indy game last week. So unless Rivers unleashes a particularly effective Laserface (thanks to KSK for that frickin' hilarious reference, towards the bottom of this post) or LT brings a weapon in like Billy Blanks in Friday Night Lights, I think we're looking at the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

If the Chargers win, I will take a dare from our readers and do whatever they can come up with, within reason, and it will be worth it because the Pats and their fans will be down for the count. And that would be wonderful.

But the pick from me is as follows:

Patriots 33, Chahjuhs 6

More Awesome Cowboy Reaction

First of all, I loved -- loved loved loved -- that this jackass came down to the sideline in the final minutes of the game to clap like a special ed student alongside his head coach. No pressure there, boys. Just the millionaire owner among you who pays all of your salaries and expects a Super Bowl, like, now. And then the game ends on the McQuarters interception and the whole team vacates the sidelines to respectfully congratulate the Giants and there's Jones standing there stone-faced and, to be sure, pissed.

I especially liked the report that Jerry Jones provided his players not only with the tickets to give their friends and families for this game, but he also provided them with two tickets each to next weekend's NFC title game. Nicely done, Jerry. (Of course, to be fair, this is probably typical. Fans have to buy tickets in advance for playoff games that might not be played -- in all sports -- and then get refunded for them. Still, it's kinda funny.)

I also love the arrogance that was out there leading into this game.... and to read the cockiness is just, well, wonderful.

I went to Deadspin to see some of the Cowboy blogs this morning and it's just more awesomeness.

This one feels the Cowboys "gave" the game to the Giants in every way possible. I'm not sure about that, but whatever you guys want to believe. "This offseason is going to be more unbearable than last year." Yeah, for your fat coach, too.

But I think my favorite knee-jerk reaction from idiot Cowboys fans came from the Cowboy Roundup. The article is a dead link now, but according to D-spin, the quote was as follows:

"Dallas couldn't get it done with seconds left on the clock. Perhaps Romo isn't the guy for the Cowboys ... It may be time to get Brady Quinn in here."

I don't know how to express how much I love this. I want to kiss this guy. Maybe even on the mouth. He's just so perfect to demonstrate knee-jerk idiocy of a city that has nothing else to live for besides their overrated football team.

Yes. Please please please... Dallas, start convincing yourselves that Brady Quinn is the answer and Tony Romo should be cast aside after one full season starting in the NFL. Indeed. Brady freaking Quinn! How stupendously wonderful would it be to see Brady Quinn stumbling around in the Cowboys backfield as they open their new stadium 3-13 and Jerry Jones fires three coaches in one season?

Curiosity About The Wrath of Belichick

I know we don't really write a weekly column about the upcoming NFL games but I wish we did. In fact, I've wanted to do it from the beginning, but like a lot of Web sites, we had many ideas come and go and those that stuck have stuck well and those that haven't just sort of petered out.

But I had to at least comment on this weekend, when the New England Patriots play the New York Jets -- in Foxboro, Mass. Oy.

As you've no doubt heard, Vegas gives the Jetties no chance in this one, although they still favored the Pats by more when they played the Eagles, which only goes to further show that the point spreads aren't based on who is better but by how the betting is going. The Pats seemed indestructible back then so the spread skewed even further towards them -- now, they've been tested a few times and looked mortal for a few minutes per game, so even the Jets aren't as big of an underdog as the Eagles were.

But given how the Pats have pummeled some opponents this season (56 points against the serviceable Bills and 52 against the marginal Skins and their senile coach) -- opponents, I might add, that Bill Belichick didn't have anything against -- it's interesting to think about this weekend's game against the Jets and their coach, Eric Mangini, who was the whistleblower in Week 1 about the whole camera spying thing (Note: I hate the attachment of "gate" to every damn story, so I won't say it). It seems universally agreed that the Pats are actually going to show us all what running the score up really looks like this weekend and I'd tend to agree that they'd probably hang 65 on the Jets, if only it was going to be good weather. But as luck would have it, Al Roker said this morning that on Sunday in New England, they will be experiencing "blizzard-like conditions." This might slow down the passing attack a tad. If you've got a Patriot running back in your fantasy league, start him. If it's really snowing like that, don't expect the rout everyone is talking about. In fact, if it really looks like it's going to snow that hard, and if you're a betting man, go put some money on the Jets with the two dozen points. If they lose 21-0, you'd still win. It's like a damn college point spread.

And since I'm rambling on the subject of the Patriots, as interesting as I think their run at perfection is -- especially set against the backdrop of hatred everyone seems to have for them -- I think we can all agree that we don't want them going undefeated. Yes, it would be a more impressive accomplishment than the '72 Dolphins, but if you know any Boston sports fans and, specifically, Pats fans, try to imagine them being exponentially more arrogant, obnoxious and in your face. Hard to actually fathom, right?

What would be perfect for me, actually, would be to see the Pats go to 15-0 and then lose to the Giants in the final week of the season. Revenge for the Mannings, delivered by the Manning that everyone thinks sucks yet is going to the playoffs for the third straight year.

Can you hold? I got a guy on the other line who wants to buy some whitewalls...

You asked me what the attitude was in Cleveland right now. You want to know what the attitude is? The other day people were talking about the Browns starting training camp in a few months. The freaking Browns! The Indians are leading their division. The Cavaliers are in the NBA Finals. Those freaking guys were talking about the Browns.

So, what does that tell you about the attitude of Clevelanders? First, it tells me that they're stupid. Second, it tells me that this is a football town forever. Regardless of how bad the Browns are you'll have people who can't wait for the season to start.

I predict that the Indians could go 162-0 and sweep their way through the playoffs and you'd still have idiots wanting to talk about pre-season football.

How many years of suffering can you people take?!?! The Browns are TERRIBLE! The quicker you realize it, the happier you'll be. Look at me. Can't you tell that I'm happy?!?! The Browns ARE NOT going to the playoffs this year. The Indians very well could and the Cavs are 4 wins away from being champs. Stop talking about the Browns!

This Just In: Most Overrated Coach's "Retirement" Being Covered in Overrated Fashion

Bill Parcells is angry in this picture. Or hungry. It's hard to tell. One thing is for certain, though; he's looked a lot more miserable in recent times with the Cowboys than ferocious. And today, under somewhat odd circumstances, Bill has announced his retirement from football coaching.

Again.

Bill "retired" from the New York Giants in 1991, just months after winning his second Super Bowl in five years. Before long, he was the New England Patriots head coach. In 1996, he "retired" from the Patriots, going so far as to say he had "no desire to continue as an NFL coach." Parcells caught the coaching bug after an eight-day retirement (which, really, ought to be enough for anybody) and took over the New York Jets.

Three years later in 2000, Bill must have realized the Giants hadn't switched their colors to green and white and he "retired" from the Jets, saying at the time that he'd "coached [his] last game" and that "[His] intention is to stay retired as a coach."

After doing some time on Sunday NFL Countdown, Parcells went back to coaching in 2003 with the Cowboys. And, frankly, if I were forced to work with a fat, pontificating, bloviating, slovenly, annoying, obnoxious, arrogant douchwad like Chris Berman I might look for other work, too.

What bugs me about all this is that Parcells is hailed as an absolute frickin' genius. John Clayton even wrote a column about how Parcells is going straight to the Hall of Fame. Well, okay, I guess.

Parcells has a 172-130-1 record in 19 seasons as a coach. So he averaged 9-7 over his career. If I told you your favorite team was going to go about 9-7 every year for the next 19 years, would you be excited? Maybe these days you would since it's often enough to make the playoffs. But still, that sounds like just a shade above mediocrity most of the time. If you're a shade above mediocrity for two decades, your record looks like 172-130-1.

Was Bill a good coach? Sure he was. His players listened, for the most part, and he developed some amazing talents such as Lawrence Taylor, Phil Simms, Joe Morris, Curtis Martin, Drew Bledsoe, etc., and he turned many of them into championship-level players when maybe their talent wasn't that high (see Simms and Bledsoe).

But in recent years, it's become apparent that Bill is just old. He's 65 now and when he faces a younger, more modern-day coach, he often doesn't fare well. The best and most glaring example was when the Cowboys were riding high this year and the New Orleans Saints came into Dallas, led by young Sean Payton. Payton and the Saints absolutely crushed the Cowboys, getting to a point where they were kneeling down with three minutes left out of respect. The Saints could have hung over 50 points on the 'boys that night without a doubt.

Parcells also hasn't won a playoff game in eight years, since those Jets won a single playoff game in 1998 on thier way to losing the AFC title game to the Oakland Raiders. It was ten years ago that Bill last went to the Super Bowl, with the Patriots losing to the Packers. And when was the last time he won a Super Bowl, you ask? Why, it was after the 1990 season with the Giants. Sixteen years ago. He won two Super Bowls with a very talented Giants team that had just reeled off 55 wins over five seasons.

My point is that people shouldn't wonder if the game has passed him by -- they should accept that the game zoomed by him many years ago. Parcells is a good coach and good coaches win the games they probably should win and get smoked in games that are a bit more of a challenge (sort of like Joe Tiller at Purdue, just as a "for instance" off the top of my head).

Parcells Cowboys played in two whole playoff games in his four years in Dallas and they lost both of them. Do you know what legendary coach Bill Parcells' playoff record is since those Giants Super Bowl days? 3-5. In the last sixteen years, his playoff record is 3-5.

So sure, go ahead and put him in the Hall of Fame. But let's not forget that Parcells is a genius because the media have annointed him so. His record doesn't bear it out.

Here We Go....AGAIN

Hey, did you know that these two clowns have played each other a number of times before? Did you also know that Tom Brady is a mythical figure who had god-like powers, especially in the playoffs? Did you also know that Peyton Manning's career sucks solely because his team has never been able to play a big playoff game without their own hands around their necks? Did you know they played earlier this season and Peyton won -- in Foxboro?!! I know! But did you also know that maybe Bill Belichick, who's even more godlike than Tom Terrific -- sheet, he's like a hoodie-wearing god of thunder and lightning -- could have, maybe, possibly, been sandbagging? You know, like he figured, "Hey, we might see these guys again if everything works out and I'm willing to sandbag a nationally televised home game and risk home-field advantage just so I can have the upper hand on this Manning character and de-pants him in his home stadium in January. You know, if we happen to meet."

Yeah, get ready for more stories you've already heard and more interviews about stories that even real fans of these teams are sick of. Frankly, I'd rather hear stories about Adam Vinatieri going against the team he won all those Super Bowls for.

The other game of the week will also feature lazy storylines, as the New Orleans Saints football team success continues to cause hosues to rebuild themselves and poor people living in shelters to not feel as hungry or alone. It's really amazing what football can do. And as much as I want to (and will) be rooting for N.O. next weekend, I hate their own Tom Benson, a fat, ignorant man who wanted to never come back to the Big Easy and wanted to permanently relocate to San Antonio. Or Los Angeles. Or Lafayette, Indiana. Anywhere but New Orleans. Classy.

And on the other side of the ball from them, we'll get to hear more about Rex Grossman and what a liability he is, despite the fact that he could have been a lot worse than he was on Sunday.

Speaking of liabilities, let's look at our records...

Tim: 2-2 (5-3 overall)

boilerdowd: 2-2 (6-2 overall)

J Money: 2-2 (5-3 overall)

Remember, the winner gets a night with boilerdowd's wife. We really should have opened this up to readers, too.

"PLAYOFFS? Don't Talk About..PLAYOFFS?"

And now that wonderful Jim Mora moment will live on with a whole new group of fans as Coors Light made use of it and made it perhaps the best version of those press conference commercials. (I especially love how at the end the guy's like, "okay, forget I brought it up.")

Anyway, we’re back for Week 2 of the NFL Playoffs, with the mediocre, drama-filled teams got bounced out last week. And appropriately so; nobody wants to see the Giants lose 41-0 at Chicago while Eli throws four picks and looks cold the whole day.

As for our picks? Well, we did well.

Tim: 3-1

Boilerdowd: 4-0

J Money: 3-1

Well, now things get interesting. There are only eight teams left and, truthfully, they’re all pretty good (well, except for the Seahawks). Last week we looked at the quarterbacks for each team so this week we’ll look at the coaches and try to figure them out.

We start with the Eagles at the Saints. Philly coach Andy Reid is a jolly-looking fellow and he falls into the “Fat Coaches” category. He looks perfectly at home in a group that would include Bill Parcells, Charlie Weis, Art Shell… you know, guys like that. However, fat coaches haven’t seemed to be that successful recently, as guys like Jon Gruden, Brian Billick, Bill Belichick and Bill Cowher have been winning Super Bowls. So I think I have to personally go against Andy Reid as a likely successful coach. What’s he saying in this picture? Well, I’m not sure. Most likely, “Bring me another connoli!”


Moving on to the Saints, they’re coached by first-year head man Sean Payton. Now, Payton was a member of Bill Parcells’ staff last year but what people forget was that the year the Giants went to the Super Bowl, Payton was relieved of his play-calling duties as offensive coordinator by Jim Fassel with about 5 or 6 games to go in the season. Not the best thing to have happen to the career of a young O-coordinator. Nevertheless, Payton appears to be saying, “Follow me, men, and I’ll lead you into the playoffs! Oh, and does anyone have any suggestions on what we run this weekend?”

The other NFC game is the Seahawks at the Bears. Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren is not exactly what you’d call a “Fat Coach,” but he’s not slim, either. In this picture, he’s shown demonstrating his mind powers that he used to make the ball slip out of Tony Romo’s hands last week. Yeah, I think he’s lost it, too. Plus he’s taking his underachieving team into Chicago. It’s hard to picture the Seahawks in the NFC title game but that’s what will happen if the Rex Grossman from about half the season shows up and throws some ugly interceptions.

And speaking of those Bears, they’ve been led very well by Coach Lovie Smith in recent years. Lovie has done a great job playing to his team’s strengths over the past two seasons. Last year, they had then-rookie Kyle Orton as their starter and this year they have inconsistent Rex. So they play up their D and try not to let the offense kill them. It’s worked very well and there’s no reason to think it won’t work again in this round of the playoffs. In his photo, Lovie appears to be on the same page with us as he shouts, “No, Rex, under no circumstances are you allowed to audible to a passing play! Nooooooooo!”

On to the AFC, where the first game we’ll discuss in the Colts at the Ravens. Colts coach Tony Dungy is a calm, effective guy but he catches a lot of flak for not winning in the playoffs. Whether you like the Colts or not, I think a lot of people will have a hard time being upset if Dungy and Peyton win it all together one day. Interestingly, in this picture, Tony appears to have a device set up where he can take play calls from “Little Tony.” I’m willing to bet it’s a draw, up the middle.

Facing Dungy will be Super Bowl-winner and all-around arrogant jackass Brian Billick. At times, especially after their Super Bowl win, Billick seemed to act as though he believed he invented the game. The truth is, his teams have always been a lot like the Bears, with an amazing defense and a suspect offense. Everyone keeps saying that this is the Ravens year because they have Steve McNair, who is far from risky. In reality, I’m not sure how much better McNair is since he can’t throw downfield very well anymore and he’s only got like one leg. Right? In his photo here, I guess Brian is angry. Either that or he’s at a rock concert.

And now we move on to the best game (at least on paper) of the weekend, Pats at Chargers. On the one side is Bill Belichick, who says little but whose picture simply says, “Check this out, bitches.” Belichick has the clear advantage as far as confidence from the players and fans, while his opponent… well, not so much. People love to talk about how amazing Belichick and Brady are and how unbeatable they are. This was the same topic in past years and in some of those years the Pats were unbeatable and then last year…they were very beatable. In fact, the amazing magical un-rattle-able quarterback Tom Brady threw a critical interception to Champ Bailey that basically allowed the Broncos – quarterbacked by Jake Plummer, I might add – to knock the vaunted Pats out of the playoffs. Sure, Belichick and Brady have had success but if you think that’s going to win them this game by itself, you’re crazy.


Almost as crazy as Marty Shottenheimer, who is either going insane or working on his faces to make at officials and opposing running backs. Marty has determined if he can make Laurence Maroney laugh really hard during a play, Laurence might just be easier to tackle. We’ll see how well this works, though. My advice would be to give the ball to LaDanian Tomlinson…a lot.

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So the picks this week from us. As I said, we went a collective 10-2 last weekend and we’re feeling smart right about now which is why the wheels will come off at this point. Here we go.

Tim:

Eagles over Saints
Bears over Seahawks
Colts over Ravens
Chargers over Patriots

Boilerdowd:

Saints over Eagles
Seahawks over Bears
Ravens over Colts
Patriots over Chargers

(Or, if you’re scoring at home, the complete, 100% opposite of Tim’s picks.)

J Money:

Saints over Eagles
Bears over Seahawks
Ravens over Colts
Chargers over Patriots

I don’t feel at all confident about the Chargers pick but I am hoping for a Chargers-Saints Super Bowl so I’ll roll the dice.

I Blew It For The Giants

Let me explain.

Because I dislike the Cowboys so much and enjoy seeing Bill Parcells mad (and apparently, deaf -- did anyone else see his press conference?), I used all my hex mojo up on Saturday night. I was truly sad when the refs said Witten had the first down at the one-yard-line when I thought there was no way he got there. I also didn't realize that spots could be reviewed, but I was thrilled when it turned out to be fourth down for the Cowgirls.

But then they lined up for an easy field goal to win the game, and so I hoped they'd screw it up or get blocked. And they did screw it up. Or, more accurately, prematurely annointed football god Tony Romo screwed it up. ("Hey, come on, guys! The ball is slippery!")

So when the Giants and Eagles came down to a last-second field goal, I must have not had any mojo left to put the hex on the Eagles. Interestingly, the Eagles winning field goal was a non-gimme (37 yards) and it was raining. And presumably they, too, used to "K" balls that are suddenly a topic of discussion. Yet Koy Detmer (who knew he was still in the league?) held perfectly and David Akers ended the Giants stellar 8-9 season. Oh well.

In Boiled Sports news, however, we actually did okay with our picks. Tim and I both went 3-1 and boilerdowd cleaned up at 4-0. Nicely done, gents.

Since we did a QB photo-compare last week, I'm thinking later this week we'll do a coaches comparison. Then maybe the week after we'll look at mascots or logos or something. By the Super Bowl we'll be evaluating the teams' choice of jockstraps. Good times ahead.